chapter 1- Velvet

- Let me out!

I scream into the silence, into the darkness. No one is here to respond, to remind me that I am yet alive. That I was once free. No one but my undying thoughts and my undying yet body. The room I'm in is completely dark and quiet. I can't hear even the echo of my own screams. I wish I did. I wish I would see more than pressure of darkness and feel more than cold all around me hugging me, suffocating me. I wish for a lot of things now more than I ever had. Before I wished for love, justice. Now I wish just to survive another day. The one thing that didn't change is my wishlist is to be free. Before I used to wish for it so badly. To be free to do and go wherever I want. I was free though and I was too stubborn to realise and appreciate it.

Time goes by. I sleep I wake up and sleep again and then do it again and again. The food arrives once a day through a small opening in a wall. And that is the only time when I get a little bit of light and a little bit of warmth into my body. Right after I finish eating tasteless subtense of porridge-like-food. The dim light on wall switches off once again and I'm left in darkness. I don't actually now when the day ends and another begins. But I don't have anything else to do but count seconds and then minutes and then hours in my head. Twenty four hours pass and food arrives yet again. That is the only way I get any understanding of time here. I raise my hand. It's dark to the point where I can't even see if I actually done it or imagined doing it.

I scream long and loud. But yet no one comes, no one even hears me. "shit!" I curse and daze off again weakened by the effort.

***

Something wakes me up. I feel adrenaline running through my body. I am panicking, but my sleepy mind doesn't yet understand what is happening.

Boom. The sound of explosion far away and then everything shakes. I can't see anything, but I feel the ground underneath me moving, exciting me to the bones. I don't know what is happening, but I am not as alone here as I thought. I jump to my feet feeling my way to a cold wall pushing my ear against it. Nothing. This stupid sound prove walls. But how close are these explosions if even through this thick walls I can hear them. "Very close" I mouth as I am thrown away by another explosion. There is buzzing in my ears and I am afraid I have gone deaf now too. I feel something touching me and open my eyes to see a face right above me. The man before me is lifting me up mouthing or shouting something I can't hear. But I can see.

And I see a riot. There is smoke everywhere. The wall that I think I stood behind of, has been broken down. There are bits and pieces of glass and stones everywhere. But I can see. I see a way out. There is piercing red light coming from the newly formed hole. A way out of my cell and out of this place.

I don't know what the man beside me expected me to do, but definitely not this. I think when I see a glimpse of surprise as I kick him in between the legs and shove him away. I make my way through broken pieces of wall to the light. My eyes protest unused to such brightness, but I push through needing to flee this pathetic existence. I partially run partially crawl out of my cell. And appear in the wide hall. The are flickering of red light above me signaling invasion or maybe something else entirely. I look around but there is no one here.I don't know where is the way out of this God forgoten place. So I just run ahead. I don't need to think right now I have done it for ages now in that cell.

"Run! Run!" I scream to myself as I make my way through the empty halls. I see big iron doors on the both side of the hall. But something tells me it's just another cells. The buzzing in ears quites down and I hear sirens screaming all around deafening me yet again. God, I just want to find a way out!

Why aren't here any fucking sings saying "Exit".

A hand on my shoulder and I am flying backwards yet again. Maybe this is a dream I think but the sudden pain from being thrown against the floor tells me otherwise. I look up and freeze. A gun pointed right at my pretty face.