02

"Darling I hope you don't doubt my ability to hate you just as much as I loved you"

*Bye,Bye,Bye

I'm doing this tonight, you're probably gonna start a fight *

"Good God!" I yelled as my body fell smack onto the floor as a result of the loud pop music blasted into my eardrums.

I looked around propping my body up, I never used to startle this easy

I was still very hazy but I forced myself up and away from the floor and picked up my phone from the bed , glaring down at the number which had disturbed my sleep.

I sighed, *Richard * It seemed like my funeral was beginning earlier than I thought.

I sat back down on the bed, taking a deep breath before I redialled his number, and of course he picked at the first ring

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!"

I chuckled dryly "Good morning to you too Richard"

"I'm not in the mood for this Hallé, I told you, I told you the cops would be calling you down to the station for questioning and more importantly I told you when it did happen, call ME AND CALL SOLANGE!"

"Alright, alright calm down Richard" I replied rolling my eyes as I stomped down the stairs, following the direction which my stomach was leading me towards- the kitchen.

"Calm down?! You know Hallé when I took this job as your manager, I imagined lesser grey hairs; my mistake, it seems you're actually just aching to see me leave this world as soon as possible"

Such a dramatic, I couldn't help but think.

"Richard calm down, you're 32 I honestly doubt you're growing any grey hairs anytime soon, and if you are I feel like that is more of the fault of that 22 year old you just knocked up"

I heard him take a deep breath,

Okay we're getting somewhere, I sighed in my head.

"Hallé do you not realize the mess we're in, because I was not with you and neither were your security detail who you decided to give an impromptu holiday, you could not evade the paparazzo and now there are about two dozen pictures of you exiting the station alone all over the internet-"

A part of my thoughts couldn't help but agree with him, truly in hindsight That actually was quite dumb

"Not to mention you didn't take Molly with you, a fact which our lovely bloggers and YOUR adoring fans took note of, besides that God only knows what your big mouth might have said-"

"HEY!" I said taking a bite of my newly warmed bacon, egg and cheese sandwich; *my Lord I love bacon*

"Now we have so much damage control to do, Ella is going to freak-

I rolled my eyes at his words; I do hope she is freaking out, because as my publicist it is her job to make me look good

"Then I have to call Solange back, see if we can retract any statement you've given-"

No, my thoughts groaned in reply.

"You already called her? No Richard no, you should have given me a head's up first"

"What does it matter? Like I said it's all over the media, she would have seen it anyways, besides you deserve to be in trouble and this is the only head's up you'll get- she's coming over; Anyways I've got to go, thanks to you I've got a busy day"

With that he cut off the call;

With the impending doom of my older sister being mad at me and coming over to yell at me just like Richard , and the fact that not one person seems to understand that just a day ago the love of my life had been strangled to death in our home;

I couldn't go on behaving like this, acting like I was fine, like I was strong

That was it

I just couldn't handle it anymore;

Hot tears streamed down my cheeks and I cried;

I cried until my body shook

I cried until my arms got tired and leaned my self onto the kitchen counter.

I cried until my throat got raw and I could feel it itching and burning.

I cried until I couldn't differentiate between my sobs and my screams

I cried until my eyes got tired and started to close.

I cried myself to sleep on that counter and even as I dreamed I cried even more.