zigginah

Tear-stained cheeks, my mascara was now an ugly smudge after being ruined with all the crying I had been doing for the past hour. I could not recognize myself as I looked through the mirror. The more I stared at myself the more the tears. I could hear them in the next room. Their moans enraged me and made me feel like throwing up. I retched but nothing came out. 

Disgust is what I felt.


My life had turned out to be a chaotic mess and I wondered what I had done to deserve all that. I was a good person or so I believed.

I smiled through the pain and thought to myself that everything was going to be okay. I did not believe that myself but I had to tell myself to keep going or I would be stuck in a loop with my past trying to set myself free...

DAWN.

No one would have prepared me for this...I felt powerless ...defeated even . My mom's pictures all over the wall made it even worse. Smiling at me J basically not here. Why did she not fight more...why did she just give up on us leaving us with no mother but a shitty father.

How was i supposed to take care of my sister...I did not know how to do anything this..this was a huge responsibility on my shoulders that I was not sure I would be able to handle.She was growing up ...in a womanly way and I did not know how to have those conversations with her . My mum would be baking cookies in the kitchen right now or some new pastry she learnt and could not wait for us to taste it . The heavy weight on my chest...

I feel like my world is falling apart but then looking at it it's literally falling apart.

49.I broke my own heart