zigginah

Tear-stained cheeks, my mascara was now an ugly smudge after being ruined with all the crying I had been doing for the past hour. I could not recognize myself as I looked through the mirror. The more I stared at myself the more the tears. I could hear them in the next room. Their moans enraged me and made me feel like throwing up. I retched but nothing came out. 

Disgust is what I felt.


My life had turned out to be a chaotic mess and I wondered what I had done to deserve all that. I was a good person or so I believed.

I smiled through the pain and thought to myself that everything was going to be okay. I did not believe that myself but I had to tell myself to keep going or I would be stuck in a loop with my past trying to set myself free...

DAWN.

I finally had everything I had hoped for bit it still seemed wierd . This was what I wanted all along ,for him to love me back and not treat me like nothing had ever happened between us. This was supposed to be my happy place but I could not stop myself from feeling bad about it. I knew what I was doing was bad but how was i supposed to throw all this away? I had dreamt about this for so long that it still felt like a dream. There he was the boy I had had a crush on for the longest time ever making me breakfast.

"Yeah I do ,why are you asking?"I ask him .

"Because you look really weak I feel like if I lay on top of you I'll break you",he says chuckling.

"I eat ",I say as my movements hole demeanor changes.

NEXT TO HIM