zigginah

Tear-stained cheeks, my mascara was now an ugly smudge after being ruined with all the crying I had been doing for the past hour. I could not recognize myself as I looked through the mirror. The more I stared at myself the more the tears. I could hear them in the next room. Their moans enraged me and made me feel like throwing up. I retched but nothing came out. 

Disgust is what I felt.


My life had turned out to be a chaotic mess and I wondered what I had done to deserve all that. I was a good person or so I believed.

I smiled through the pain and thought to myself that everything was going to be okay. I did not believe that myself but I had to tell myself to keep going or I would be stuck in a loop with my past trying to set myself free...

DAWN.

I don't know why I found problematic people to be hot. There was just something with hot-headed people.

Something that made you want them. Stubborn people turned me on. Like you really can't do what am asking of you?

Yes, it was not healthy for me. I knew that pretty well but I still couldn't stop myself from wanting them.

They were always hot. It was always the hot bitches that had a lot of baggage. She would tell you about yourself and you would know that when you guys were done it would hurt.

Bit somehow you wouldn't find the energy to leave them because some part of you believed that maybe she would be different from you.

That maybe you would love her the way she deserved and she would stop being a bitch.

Most of the time they didn't care who they hurt. It was their heart they were protecting how would you blame them?

I had once been that sweet girl. The one who did everything they were told and was the perfect girlfriend.

FORGOT