Him Again...

You didn't know how to feel. Seeing him again... Made you feel somewhat nauseous. What he was thinking? Hell, you didn't have a fucking clue. You knew the boy was hiding something from you, but you couldn't pinpoint what that was exactly.

Many, many times you wanted to approach him, asking why he wasn't direct with you―why he was difficult―why he brought up a past you tried to forget. He threw many insinuations towards you; left, right and centre, and you didn't know what any of it meant.

All of it was a daze; a daydream, maybe even a nightmare that was fogged over by fear.

"But please, never forget me if something happens."

That face... It was all too fuzzy for you. The warmth of that man's hand... The gentleness of his touch; even the tenderness in his voice. All of it sounded sincere. Too... Sincere.

"Fuck..."

You whispered quietly, gently clasping the side of your forehead where you were burdened with a foreign scar. What was this ringing sound you were sustaining?

There were low whispers inside your head, forcing you to stumble back and forth on the pavement.

"Please never let her go-"

"Ugh..."

It was getting worse. The voices―the reverberating pitches sent you into an unknown frenzy, causing you to collapse on the cold concrete.

"Never let her go-"

"Never-"

The distorted face made your heart race, mind run wild. The ringing of the indefinite man's voice kept repeating in your head―over and over again. What was happening to you? Did you have a heart attack? What was this... Feeling-

"Y/N!?"

You heard a familiar voice flush out the recollections, causing you to squint, trying so desperately to stay conscious from this terrible fit of terror. Your body was being rustled about aggressively, the blaring sound still shattering your eardrums.

"Yes!! I need an ambulance at xxxxx! I think my friend is having a heart attack! Please come quickly!"

The heat radiating from the person's hand comforted you as you underwent a strange, unknown convulsion. However, it wasn't necessarily a good feeling... You were ready to give up, fighting not even interchanging between your mind and body. It felt like you couldn't breathe, identical to a demon who was strangling the life out of your soul.

"Y/N! Look at me! Please...!" You knew by the way the person was holding you―even the tone of their voice―they were definitely a male. Still, not even a thought of who it was crossed your mind. You didn't have enough strength to distinguish what was real anymore.

Maybe that was part of your despair, after all.

The indefinite man prised his face against your forehead, the feeling of tears scattering down your icy cheeks. The discernment of the moisture made you furrow your brows, fluttering your eyes open slowly to try and recognise who was with you right now.

And to your disbelief, it was Kita... Or- Maybe... It wasn't? A figure of your imagination?

At this point, you didn't have a fucking clue if you were hallucinatory right now―your head hurt, your body was shaking, your mind was fuzzy―everything was a blur. However, if it was Kita, some part of you felt relieved to see him―feel him―even after all the hurt he had caused you.

Quite frankly, you felt vacillated right now, not knowing whether to forgive him or feel resentful. It was wavering above you, despite that.

Kita continued to bleat weakly above you, salty tears plummeting from his dull, distend orbs, still gripping onto you for dear life. He also mumbled incoherent words towards you; probably his way of apols'.

Subsequently, an arbitrary vision hit you without warning―the same familiarness of the memory you thought was a nightmare.

"Please never let her go, Shin. This is your job now, and I have entrusted it to you."

Before you knew it, you blacked out, the frigid murkiness swallowing you whole.

In no time, you heard silent chatters in front of you, causing you to grumble quietly. "She will be fine. You don't need to worry, Mr Kita. Just let her rest for now." Your vision was bleary―everything smelt too... Familiar. Was this a hospital you were in? You couldn't really remember what happened last.

"Where-" You coughed, rubbing your eyes gently as you sat up on your palms, "Where am I?" Your voice was a little croaky, your vision gradually becoming more stable as seconds ticked by. Kita immediately stood up from the seat placed beside your hospital bed, clutching your hand tightly. "I'm here. It's okay, Y/N..."

Carefully watching the doctor stroll out of the room, you shifted your gaze to a boy who now sat on the bed next to you, a commiserative as well as a contentful look plastered on his attributes.

He caressed your hand inadvertently, causing you to stare into his light brown eyes. "You had a really bad panic attack, Y/N." Kita smiled towards you, his eyes puffy, nose red from the crying he had done earlier.

However, it wasn't as evident as before.

A crease formed in between your brows, making you turn your attention away from him, down to the tube that was inserted under the skin of your wrist. "I-" You hiccuped, heat rising to your chest.

You glanced up at him again, thinking back to the reminiscences, "What happened to my father, Kita?" Tears welled in your orbs, another hitch releasing from the back of your throat. The boy's eye's widened, his lip curling downward into a pout as his chin creased in melancholy.

"I-" Kita gritted his teeth, knitting his brows together momentarily before turning away. "I don't know if I can say, Y/N-" Your pulse quickened by his words, an instant manipulation of anger flowing through your blood.

You pushed him away fleetingly, a tear streaking down your cheek. Covering your face with your palms, you mumbled disordered words under your breath, hiccuping every time you spoke due to your sobs, "That's so unfair, Kita...!"

"Wait- Y-You didn't let me finish, Y/N..." Kita pouted miserably, trying to pull you into his embrace again. "Don't touch me!!" You scream, this time shoving the boy with all the power you had left in your body.

However, Kita didn't budge, but instead, he sat there quietly, his head dropped to the mattress, a soundless cry leaving his lips. "Please, Y/N... The reason I can't tell you is because-" He glanced up at you again, causing you to freeze up.

You had never seen Kita in this sort of mess before―the silent cries, the way his pupils tapered while washing through with dry tears, the light reflection that was shone into his eyes―it made you unaware of how selfish you were towards him... How... Self-centred you were this entire time.

That's how you felt anyway.

Clearly remembering the memories now, you knew Kita was going through the same as you. You couldn't really differentiate both of your feelings; however, he still had them, and you disregarded that completely.

"I can't tell you because I made a promise to your father. It will break you, Y/N. I don't want that." Immediately tearing your gaze away from him, you bit your lip, clenching your fists shut at the sides of your abdomen. "It hurts more not knowing, Shin..." You took in a shaky inhale, sobbing afterwards, "I miss him so damn much. I want this pain to end."

You wailed the last sentence, the swelling around your eyes increasing the more you sobbed. Kita leaned in to give you a hug, placing his forehead in the crook of your neck. You felt his saturated tears compress against the soft skin, causing you to snivel even louder.

Kita finally pulled away from you, staring into your beautiful E/C orbs. He was hesitant for a second, his mouth dropping open before speaking, "To be honest... I'm not truly sure what happened to your father."

He sighed, leaning back to clasp your hand again, "But I do believe he is in a better place now." Your eyes narrowed, biting the inside of your cheek to suppress another cry. Jumping into his embrace again, you muttered, "Thank you, Kita. That's all I wanted to know."

Kita's lip quivered, closing his eyes momentarily to take in this moment. The hug lasted for a good thirty seconds before you broke away from him. You wiped the tears away with your arm, glancing out of the window awkwardly, "Don't you have nationals tomorrow? You should be sleeping right now..."

The boy chuckled, glancing out of the window too, nonchalantly, "I suppose, but I was the one who found you. I wanted to know if you would be okay." His statement was ardent and sincere, bringing a smile towards your lips.

"Sure, sure..." You giggled, breathing through a blocked nostril. "But I think I'm okay now." You turned to face him, trying to throw him the brightest smile you could muster up. Kita frowned in response, "Were you serious about quitting as manager?"

He pouted, unconsciously tightening his grip around your palm. You chuckled, leaning in to brush noses with him, "Maybe if you can persuade me to stay and stop harassing me..." Jesting towards him, you took the boy totally off guard by how you were reacting.

Kita could feel the steadiness of your breath brush up against the rosiness of his cheeks, making him swallow thickly. You gazed into his beautiful brown eyes, quickly peering down at his lips briefly before placing your own on his.

His eyes widened in shock―half embarrassment―however, he quickly melted into the feeling after a few seconds. This time he took evident note of the sweetness that settled on your lips, rigidly nipping away as you shoved him back first on the mattress.

You were now straddling Kita, sitting atop his lap while your mouths never disconnected from each other. The flat of his palms quickly made their way down the centre of your back, finally stopping at the edge of your rump.

He pulled away, the two of you breathing heavily, "Are you sure you want to do this here...? And now?" Kita quickly glanced over at the door, biting his lip while knowing full well it wasn't locked.

You tugged his face back with the tips of your digits, squishing his cheeks together as a frown pierced your features. "Don't think about that. Just focus on me, dummy." You still kept a tight grip around his cheeks; however, you leaned in, planting your lips on his again.

Kita returned the gesture, but this time slipped his tongue inside your mouth. You willingly let the boy roam around the insides of your cheeks, absorbing every flavour. You slowly rocked back and forth on his groin, letting out a muffled moan that was devoured by his mouth.

His brows knitted together, now recognising the hardness in his pants. You quickly nibbled on his bottom lip, smirking as you felt the wetness in your panties rub against the erection in his pants.

Incoherent words were cut off by you swallowing them, "Y/N... W-Wait-" You disconnected again, cocking a brow. "What is it now, Kita?" He sighed heavily, "We don't have a condom..."

You chuckled loudly, leaning in to ghost the shell of his earlobe, "You're so cute, but don't worry... I'm on the pill. Plus, doesn't it feel better raw?" Kita stumbled, nodding quickly. His cheeks were flushed pink, quickly turning to a hot crimson when you leaned back to meet his gaze.

Your lip curled into a devious grin, trailing a finger across his clothed chest, "Unless you don't want to do it raw, of course...?" You bit your lip after, Kita freezing in his tracks for a quick second before flipping you onto your back.

He pinned both of your hands above your head, the tube that was inserted into your wrist tangling around itself. You hissed from the sudden pain, later turning your attention to stare up at a very lecherous Kita.

"I wouldn't pass down an opportunity like this..." He grinned, leaning down to plant soft kisses across your exposed collarbone.

This was going to be a long ride.