The story of Loneliness

Most people don't know this but, being all alone hurts more than any physical pain. It's like living, but not truly existing, not having any purpose. It's a dark place, and it's very hard to escape. And even if you do, you won't be same.

Hirsugiminen

100bc

I was born here, in this dark place. How is one being created not from life, but from death? I wandered the place, talking casually to the Shi, which meant 'Soulless beings'. Still, they would never answer, never react. They'd just stare at nothing, or build something that their intact brain could remember.

   So, I'd just watch them from the sidelines, watched as they worked day in, day out. And apart from that, my life had no more meaning.

   The rain never falls here, nor are there sounds of birds or night creatures. The only sound comes from the center of this city like hell, and that is it's center, the sanctuary. On a day like most, when I had no more tolerance for the dead, I decided to venture into unholiest place of Hirsugiminen. It was like a large castle, one of which peaks were buried within the clouds.

     I was engulfed in red light as I pushed the doors open, letting myself uninvited into the castle. Hopefully here, there was someone who I could talk to, and they'd respond in the language I spoke.

      But when I went in there, my body grew weak. It thirsted for water and cried for food. Those were things that I've never needed from birth. I felt like I was dying. I could feel my strength fading as I collapsed to the floor. When is die, where'd I go? Surely I'd go back to the city, where I belonged in the first place.

"What are you?" A voice asked. It was the voice of a woman, kind and sweet and deceptively hiding any bad intentions. I had no words for this lady, I had lost my strength to do anything. "You're not dying." She continued. "You just have a lack of food and water. I have those in abundance in the world where the humans reside."

"Who, who are you?" My voice trembled, but I soon found out that I wasn't dying, I was just lacking a lot of energy.

"My name is Aesthaea, and from now on, I am your god."

Hirsugiminen

300bc

"I have found another like you Razael." Aesthaea was saying to me. This woman had welcomed me into her abode, despite representing those whom she despised most, men, and she gave me a name. Razael.

"Like me?"

"Yes, but this one seems to have inhabited the body of a bear, unlike you, who is in the body of a dead samurai." That was what Aesthaea had told me. I was a demon, nd I had inhabited someone else's body, but despite being just that, I had no evil intentions.

"Are you going to take him in, like me?"

"No, you will get him. I have bewitched you with powers of mine this you cannot enter through the gates. So use those powers, and by force or willingly, take him with you."

"So, what shall you name him?"

"Daizaiel, 'my servant' is what it means. He will be your brother, and then you can do with each other what you see fit."

"Alright, Aesthaea-sama."

Hirsugiminen

800bc

   We were allowed for once, Daizaiel and I, to roam the land of the living. To play with other children or to swim in their creeks. It was always bright and beautiful in this place, even when the night had fallen. The stars and moon would illuminate the entire land. Here, life for me, was marvelous and forever enticing. And it was all thanks to that woman named Aesthaea.

    She had appointed us her messengers, and we were to deliver a message to the west toward a town named Kyugetsu, telling them that she had finally finished her creation that she called Seikon.

      When we reached the town, we saw a woman, crying and screaming at an invisible pain in the middle of the streets. She tore at her clothes and hair, mindless of the bruises she was giving herself. The people around watched in fear, believing that the woman's madness would kill her, and possibly them. But she wasn't mad. I walked up to the lady.

"Kyuzael, why are you bothering Aesthaea-sama's people?" The woman looked at me and grinned, her smile lashing from ear to ear. I sighed. "You're distorting the woman's face. She doesn't want you inside her."

     The woman's eyelids closed as she fell to the ground. In her place stood a dark presence, one with Hirsugiminen's eyes and a body of the night's sky. It spoke, lifting an invisible lip.

"Unlike you Razael, the inhabitant of the dead, or you Daizaiel, the inhabitant of unnameable beasts, I will inhabit someone of beauty and etiquette."

"Is that what you call beauty and etiquette?" Daizaiel asked, gesturing to the shivering woman on the floor.

"She was once." Kyuzael said.

"And because of you, she is half dead and looks no better than a street beggar."

"If I cannot inhabit the living, I will inhabit no one."

"Then don't. Human beings are selfish. We cannot inhabit them when their alive or they'll go mad. When they're dead, they just want to back to see their loved ones, with our evil intentions within them. We can only inhabit the Shi of Hirsugiminen."

"You can go." He said. "I have already delivered Aesthaea's message, now you can go."

     And with that, he blew effortlessly through the walls. A great weight had left the town after that.

Hirsugiminen

2001

        I could feel it now, that great weight on my shoulders. I watched helplessly as Kyuzael's demon ordered the girls to kill each other. He flew away, through the castle's walls as usual. I walked away. When a demon has an order, it has to fulfill it. After that, it is to return to hell where it belongs. So, if it were to kill Todoroki, the other would still live. Though I doubt she'd want to. I myself cannot face a demon even though being one itself, I am not holy so I am of no use, but neither is Okonayami or Todoroki. So right now, they're both as good as dead.

\TODOROKI/

          My palms were sweating as I raised Aka's metal blade. Okonayami just stared at me, apparently waiting for me to make a move.

"Okonayami?"

"That's is not my name."

"It is."

"My name is Hazael, and I'm here to kill you."

"Okonayami, what is wrong? What'd they do to you?"

"Ten seconds."

"Huh, hm?"

"That's the amount of time I'm giving you to run and scream. Or you could stand and die right here."

"No, that's. . .I'm not going to run away. Not again."

"Oh but, you'd just make this boring if you didn't. Isn't it nice? To hear them cry and scream? That last look they give you before they die?"

". . ."

    My memories were haunting me. I had killed someone but more than regret, I had felt relief. Relief that I could finally get to Okonayami. He didn't scream, his face was just full of fright as I had surprised him. But right now, I didn't stand a chance against a monster. And because of the body it was in, I couldn't bring myself to think about harming it. So I had to run away. Not for my sake, but for Okonayami's. If I died, she'd die as well, so I had to live.

     So I ran.

"That's more like it!" It laughed. "Ten. . ." I heard it begin it's count as feet echoed through the halls. I knew that I couldn't call for help, since everyone in this place would be against me.

"Razael! Please help. . .!" But as I expected, no answer came. "Daizaiel?" Still no answer. Tears were running down my face. Okonayami's voice was faint now.

". . .Six. . ."

      I kept on running. Soon, I was outside the castle of Hirsugiminen and into it's city. Still, I kept on running.

"Senpai, are you ashamed?"

     I'd keep on running, so that we could be like that again. Forever, not lonely.

"I need you and you need me."

     I'd keep on running, forever if possible. This city was too large, so much so that it occupied every dead person for centuries. Still, I didn't stop to take a breath.

". . .One! Hahahaha! Here I come!" The demon shouted from within the building. It filled my heart with dread. I saw a shrub land, and I decided to go there. I hid under an arch in the land and waited. Hopefully he wouldn't find me here. And even right now, memories of little time spent with the girl haunted me, as if telling me they would be my last.

     His voice came again, close this time. I shuddered.

"Is this a game of Kakurenbo? Well then, I'm sure you couldn't have gone far I'll find you soon." He laughed. I heard him grow closer and closer until her little body shadowed over mine. "Found. You." He said and laughed again.

   I couldn't die, for Okonayami's sake is what I told myself. I grabbed her around her waist and shoved her against the soft grass, holding her tightly.

"What do you think you're. . .?"

"Stop it, Okonayami! Please."

"I'm getting tired of this game. Let me go!"

"No, I won't! You see, I cannot die just yet. Not until, until I come from his dark place. And I promised I'd take you with me. So instead of darkness, we can fill out lives with light! Okonayami!"

"Haah, why don't you give up already?! Even if you die this girl won't so just let me kill you!"

"You don't understand. It's because if I die she'd die too. It's to save her from her loneliness, or it's the fact that she loves me. Either way, I won't die, and I won't let her either. And it's because I love her, very much."

"So then just die."

"Huh?"

"If you love me that much, senpai. Just die. So then, that way, we can be forever together. Without sorrow or pain, without grief or failures. Forever, happy, not lonely."

"Okonayami."

    She grabbed my arm, and used the knife I was holding to run me through. I could feel my source of life leaving me.

"But if we die, I won't see you. . ."

"Don't worry about it. Besides, this demon won't let me let you live so I have to kill you. So please, don't fight this. Just give up, and die."