Chapter 18 Ataraxia
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
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"Hey, how are you feeling?"
The boy mumbled to himself as he slowly opened his eyes, stretching as he yawned. His vision slowly fading into focus when he looks into the eyes of a particular brunette.
She smiles at him. "I am glad you're awake, we all are. Are you cold? We have more blankets if you need them, you were out in the snow for a while." Merliah spoke gently as her eyes were on the covering that she delicately placed over the lower half of his body, making sure that no wrinkles were present.
The boy laid his head against the soft pillow as he stared at the ceiling, his eyes beginning to burn as the sensation of tears overfilled him. Within seconds the mountain fell.
"Gilbert? Gilbert what's wrong?" Merliah questioned as she moved herself to be next to him as she took his hand into her own and placed her other on his cheek; wiping away any stray tears. "She's gone. It was all just a dream. Father is still dead and Mother has always been. Aunt and Uncle Fletcher are not here and I'm- I'm all alone.." He cried. The girl did not know what to do, she did not know what he was talking about. He had been unconscious and in his sleep the past two days, so her best bet being that he dreamt of them.
Gilbert closed his eyes as another tear grazed his cheek. However a smile started to form across his face as he tried to recall all the things he did with his family. Picking apples; teaching his father a new game, his mother and him playing tag in the front gables of their home. His Aunt teaching him how to make the perfect hot cocoa. Even recalling when he laid his head in his mother's lap as she hummed and played with his hair. "I hate that it was a dream, my mind tricking me; giving me hope. Yet I am glad I had it, because maybe it wasn't my mind tricking me, maybe, just maybe.. it was my family's calling to me from the stars." He spoke with a smile.
Merliah sat there next to his bed, hand in hand with his. "They are watching you Gil. They love you and they are watching you."
He opened his eyes and continued to look at the ceiling, still smiling as he thought of what was just said.
"Yeah.. yeah they are." He spoke in a comforting tone. "I won't let you down, either of you."
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Merliah set down her brown suitcase on the exit grounds of green gables before giving Ida one last hug.
"You know you don't have to go." Ida spoke with a smirk. "We could steal you right off the train and put a stack of potatoes and disguise it with clothes and he wouldn't know the difference."
Merliah laughed as she let go of her bosom friend. "I am truly going to miss you Smith."
The ginger tilted her head down as her eyes began to water. "You won't be gone for too long now will you?" "Do not worry Ida, we will be returning back to Quebec." Gilbert cut in as he placed a hand on Merliah's shoulder.
The two were leaving Quebec just as they had planned if Gilbert's father would pass. After they had found Gilbert, the two decided it would be best to wait until Doctor Carter said he was safe for travel, than Merliah broke the news to the Smith's. As the three were standing there, talking one last time as the golden trio they were, before it would be the two adventurers and the lonely romantic.
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"You can't just let her leave without sayin anything Eliza." William said as he was putting on his jacket, preparing so say goodbye to the young brunette.
Eliza stood near the sink looking out of the window, watching the three teenagers laugh and talk one last time. "We brought her in, she became a part of this family, we loved her and took care of her. And now she's leaving us." She spoke as she put her fingers up to her lips, attempting to stop the earthquake of emotions.
"She is a responsible girl Eliza. Gilbert will be there to take care of he-" "I want to take care of her!" Eliza interrupts.
"I'm - supposed to take care of her William."
William stepped closer to her and placed a hand on her back, rubbing up and down to try and soothe his older sister. "I know how you're feeling about her leavin, but if she thinks it's the right thing for her.. well than we mustn't stop her from livin her life." He said before leaving his sister to go outside into the late winter early spring.
Eliza watched as her brother walked up to Merliah, giving her a final hug. Than taking Gilbert to the side to give him a firm talk about making sure nothing bad happens, Gilbert's face turned scarlet from embarrassment than Merliah and Ida dragged him away from William as they laughed.
She huffs as she sets her apron down on the counter and walks outside, not bothering to put on her shawl.
As Eliza walks up to everyone she swiftly takes Merliah and embraces her with a hug. As she did so she left Merliah startled, as Eliza was not one to show psychical affection. Yet she simply hugged her back. As the two pulled apart from each other, Merliah gave her thanks for everything the Smith's have done for her. Mathew and Eliza nodded, as Eliza's eyes began to were teary and William hugged her from the side.
Ida came up to give Merliah one last hug. "Don't forget about me, Don't let anyone take my spot." Merliah said with a laugh. "Never, you are the only true bosom friend, a friend could have." Ida finished for her. The two girls twisted their pinkies together and smiled.
Merliah than walked up to the buggie as Gilbert was in the steering seat with the lead in his hands, ready to signal James when to start trotting to the train station. Merliah hopped onto the buggie and turned around to look at her new family. I'll be home soon before you know it, she told herself.
Gilbert snapped on the lead and James took off. Merliah waved to everyone as they slowly began to look smaller and smaller. "I'll write to you!!" She screamed.
Finally, when there was no longer a red head in her sight, when De L'heure became no more in her vision, she turned around and looked at Gilbert with a smile. She took in a deep breath with her eyes closed, "A new beginning."
"Indeed" Gilbert responded.
Merliah took out her phone and clicked on a song as it started playing. "You know I have always wanted to play this song on a country road trip but never got the chance." She spoke as she set her phone back down. "Oh really? Well today's your lucky day." Gilbert smiled to her.
Life's like the road that you travel on
The two reminisced about the memories they had with every place in Quebec that they passed, before they passed the wooden sign with old paint, that welcomed them to their first and forever home.
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Merliah scooted over closer to Gilbert, laying her head on his shoulder. In response he wrapped his right arm around her and rubbed her back and he steered the horse with his left hand holding the lead. "Are you scared?" She asked him.
Sometimes you bend and sometimes you stand
Was he? His father had just passed little over a month ago. They had a funeral, however, it was a very painful one. It had left him in bed for days with a hole in his heart until Merliah finally convinced him to keep subsistence, to live a life with no regrets. In his heart he didn't ache for the feeling of being home, he knew well enough by now from his father that a home can be a person or a place, or a feeling.
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
He did not know where he was taking them, yet Merliah did not seem to mind; any adventure with Gilbert was an adventure worth taking. So in a sense, yes, he was scared, but as long as he had Merliah and some money of course, he knew that he would be alright.
There's a world outside every darkened door
"I'm just fine.." He said as he pulled her closer. The sun slowly starting to rise, ready to start a new journey on this new epoch.
Where blues won't haunt you anymore