Chapter 3.

I could hear the whispering of the trees, cricket chirping out here. My eyes shot open in alarm. A small blanket made of animal skin was used to keep me warm, a small fire was a few feet away from me, next to it. All I saw was a man's back facing my direction.

His back was ripped, I watched as his body tensed. Muscles stretching out, as well as veins, emphasized his vascularity. His back shone with sweat, and now I saw what all that tension was about. He had fresh cuts from the battle. His right steel hand never missed a chance to capture my undivided attention. He has never told the story of how he got to have the steel hand but we all assumed it was a product of an intense battle. That right steel hand was like a trophy for him.

"Sleep." Despite having quite a huge distance between us, his voice still boomed with that powerful deepness.

"Where are the others?" He didn't move. He sat still, gazing at the fire as if he could put it out by looking at it.

"I said where are the others?!" I never knew sometimes this art of conversation could become hard to engage in. My words came out forced, loud and airy. I threw the blanket away and stood up.

I must have been sleeping for long, as my knees felt weak. It felt like I just began walking.

Everything felt like that night. Everything hurt just like that night.

Confusion, anger guilt all in one intake of emotion.

"As your princess, and commander. I order you to speak." His chuckle came out low at first, it gained strength and loudness as he continued chuckling.

"Who ran away? The commander? Or the Princess?" His words came at me like spears. Each affecting me.

"Who ran away? The brave warrior? Or a coward?" I could say the same thing about him. He was supposed to die just like the other warriors. He hadn't. I'm just as guilty... I left to save Papa. Somebody had to save Papa.

"The person who ran away was none of the listed above." He turned around to face me, it was not anger that was in his eyes. It was something else. Something that was also in my eyes that I knew he saw. The pain of living the same nightmare. Again.

It was us again.

The bracelet in my hand began shaking wildly on its own, the metal beads brushed against one another. I tried stopping it but it wouldn't... It was an everyday thing. I had never told anyone about it as many people nowadays are superstitious about everything. I didn't need anyone's diagnosis about what was happening to me.

"At sunrise, you will be at the royal palace." The bracelet became still.

"No, are you kidding me?" There was nothing about that palace that was welcoming. Every time I stood at the entrance of the palace, I always recalled how easily those intruders had gotten access to our palace and had taken my papa away without us putting a proper fight. That night took away every feeling of safety within me. I had sleepless nights, fearing that I would be next, or anyone else that I loved would be next.

"You are the princess, you need to be safe." There was mockery in the way he said it. Kondo was never outspoken, whenever he spoke, it was to hurt. Something about being a princess meant to shut up and follow the rules. I despised that.

"Safe?! My people died!! I need to take action." Despite knowing that Kondo was one of the best warriors, I considered myself even better. He was always my competition, treating me like a spoilt princess despite knowing how hard I worked to be where I was.

I found myself always trying to prove that being a woman didn't make me less than him. Weak.

I didn't expect it to be easy, our people had given women and girls a special place in society... In the dark.

"Home where? With what? With the death of all those people weighing my shoulders? " I found myself talking to myself as if trying to convince myself that there was no home until papa was with me. That palace was just a house made of rocks and heavily decorated with ornaments.

"Then you should have died on the battlefield." His words were even colder than the weather in this forest.

"You can go back as the princess. I'll go back with my king. My papa."An awkward silence befell us stretching with minutes, that turned into hours.

Kondo ought to help me.

I clung to that hope that he would agree with me and venture out to bring Papa back.

"I want him back too! I want to have him back so badly. But I can't be irrational! They have won the war, we have to negotiate another deal for his release." Kondo was incapable of handling his emotions, and whenever you brought up anything that would trigger his emotion he began speaking in anger.

I shook my head. My papa was the only man up to date who embraced being a man, along with womanly quality. The womanly quality that even I lacked. Papa was very disappointed and I could feel it. He had been captured for eleven years, I promised to set him free at the dawn of yesterday's fight. He was supposed to be freed. He was supposed to come back to his kingdom and rule with his people. With me by his side.

Think with your heart and brain.

Even if this looked like a more rational thing to do. My heart couldn't get wrapped around this idea. It felt like there was a missing puzzle, somewhere.

I went back to sitting against the tree bark and pulled the blanket on top of myself.

"Does your heart agree to this?" I asked, relaxing against the tree bark.

"King Imanu is still the only one up to date that could think with both his heart and brain. He's one of a kind." I nodded as he spoke.

"You know, you could take a quick nap." He looked at me again, his face always had a stern expression. I had seen nothing besides anger when he was on the battlefield and hatred the day he walked into papa's cabinet to save Kya and me... Kya

"Kya is dead," I said.

I wondered if he had the same connection as I did with Kya. Kya was like my best friend, despite being my brother from another mother.

I never got to know who my mother was. I was her only child, I was raised by Kya's mother. It was obvious that I wasn't her most favorite child. I was the only girl born to the Imanu royal bloodline. The only girl and my mother had honored the king with a daughter after centuries.

Some said the curse was broken. I didn't blame her to be reluctant to show me some love.

Nowhere in my heart could I find the pain, or ability to cry for his death. That fateful night drained me of all my tears and made me indifferent to anybody else's pain. Never again after that had I shed a tear. For nothing, for no one. Not even for Kya.

"He died a warrior's death." Kondo had finally spoken.

That was all he had to say. I couldn't blame him. I had nothing else to say either.

I waited until Kondo had gone to sleep. At first, it seemed like it was impossible, but as I kept thinking of what kind of deal the Adeleke would agree on to release my papa. There was one... One that we chose war over.

Marriage.

My hand in marriage. My brother chose war over that type of alliance with them. They had convinced me that papa would have done the same thing. Going back home would mean that I would have to leave the palace as a bride... As a slave to traditions made to oppress me.

Those thoughts kept me awake. Finally, Kondo laid down. I waited until I was sure he was deep asleep.

I chose war over marriage before. I could do it all over again. Again and again. Until my heart agreed with my brain.