Travel 2. Save The Date

A headache was killing me. I woke up near the river, but this time, I just had a red dress. My shoes were clean, and I was smelling like flowers. This travel was so much more different than the last time. But the same question remains: What am I doing here? In what period of time am I now?

I took off my red shoes, and started to walk barefoot all the way up, until I reached the city. I was in a big forest, and in front of me, there were thousands of daisies. A fresh smell was surrounding me, as if nature were invading my whole body.

I touched my neck, and there it was: my precious necklace. But again, I was without my cellphone. How come is that I don't remember anything, but I get to choose my clothes wisely? I only remember my last travel. Harlow was born. I met my parents. And I met Harlow's dad. Again, I was feeling lost.

Walking between the daisies, birds were singing. Trying to remember what I couldn't, but I had no clue at all. There was a wind again. The same wind. But this time I didn't feel anything weird, as if I'm used to travel like this. I heard steps, but there was no one. Maybe it is because I'm starting to have mental breakdowns. Or maybe this is a long, long dream.

It took me an hour and a half to get into the city. For the looks, I guessed it was Bristol. But what am I doing here? Then, I realized: I was in my year. In my present. My reality.

-Baby, where have you been? I've been calling you for hours!

I looked at Harlow without having a good response.

-Gosh. She just went to the bathroom. Relax- said Michael, Georgia's boyfriend.

-You've been more than half an hour at the bathroom, is everything all right?- asked me Harlow.

-Yes, I guessed I felt asleep while peeing.

And we both laughed hard. I couldn't understand what was going on. I remember everything at moments, and then I forget them all. I went to the bathroom, and I did fall asleep.

Probably the thing with the forest was just a vivid dream. I looked at my feet and they were clean, with the red shoes on. And right now, I was at Michael's house. From being in Bristol to be specifically in his house... I must had dreamed.

-So, what about going this afternoon at the lake?

-Which one?

-The one near to James' house. We could have a picnic.

And he smiled at me like a little boy would do when wanting some toy.

-Of course! I would love to, Harls.

My heart beats faster every time he does that. Convincing me of something.

I remember being a little girl when I felt for him. I was about 9 years old. He was in his teen years. And I would say that he was going to be my husband and that I would do anything for that to happen. My mom used to laughed about it.

My feelings for him never changed, and having him by my side is something I could just dreamed of. We were having lunch at Michael's house, since he asked Harlow how to ask Georgia for marriage. I was there in order to keep Georgie far away from the conversation that these gentlemen might have. Anneliese was going to come at any time soon, and she already knew about Michael's plan, because Harlow just couldn't keep his mouth shut.

While having a conversation with Georgia, she started to talk about her childhood, and I remembered I saw her as a little kid. But I was there... Did she now remember me? Were there new memories? And I knew that by asking her some things, probably she would remember me or at least, she would know there was something very odd about her mom leaving her with some punk.

-And he would totally get mad at me! He even told mom that I was a drug dealer! Could you believe that?

I was laughing a lot.

-And then, mom would say "she is not, she is 9."

-Do you have any other good memories?- I asked, half serious, half laughing.

She started to think about something.

-To tell you the truth, I bet that the day Harlow was born was a great memory. But I only remember sleeping in I don't know whose arms. Probably one of my aunties. I'm telling you is a good memory because frankly, I don't remember a shit- and we laughed again.

I sighed. She doesn't remember anything new.

But then I asked to myself, "was it a dream? How it was so vivid?" And my mother didn't say a thing about remembering a girl either. I mean, she would have tell me if she might remembered someone so suddenly. Then, probably that "travel" never really happened. Somehow, I was disappointed. How come I knew how Harlow was born?

-I know we have never talked about this, but what do you know about your father?

Georgia changed her expression. She was all serious now.

-For me, he is dead. And if Harlow didn't mention him, it's because we are on the same road.

Then, my phone rang. It was my mom.

-Is everything all right mom?

Then, the daylight was dark. A wind blow up my face and the guys were behind me, all surprised. It was cold and there were leaves flying everywhere. Neighbors started to scream and my mom hang up the phone. A girl with a big Walkman in her hand came out of nowhere, and she grabbed me by the wrist.

-We have to go! NOW!

-WAIT! ALEX!

Harlow tried to catch me up, but it was too late. I was already gone, and Nirvana brought me back to the daisies field.

It was afternoon, again. All that darkness was turned into sunlights. My heart felt in peace for some reason. A sunshine would always remind me of Harlow. He had these pretty green eyes, and with the sun, they seemed yellow. The colors of the daisies were something that made me feel really comfortable with whatever was going on.

-Didn't I tell you to choose wisely?

Nirvana looked at me, worried. She looked exactly as she did back in 1994. How was that possible?

-Who are you? How old are you?

She sighed.

-I already told you my name. And I'm 18, just like you.

-You look younger.

-Thanks, I'm very flattered.

We had a moment of silence.

-We are back to 1994, right?

-Yes. There is something you wanted to see. But you can't just jump from time to time, back in your days.

-Are you time traveler, too?

She smiled.

-I'm here for a reason, and I suppose it is kind of the same as yours. Don't you remember?

Right now, I only feel lost. It seems that something is missed.

-What date it is?

-December, 17th.

It was going to be my parents' marriage.

-You didn't do anything because your mom told you so. Keep it with that. You are only here because you wanted to see it for yourself.

We were walking all the way down to the daisies field. We bumped into a church. I could tell it was the St. Enodoc church. We were nearly 3 hours away from Bristol.

-My mom told me the story of this day- I said, while looking at the entrance of the church. It was all quiet, no decoration at all. -She wanted to get out of her house, and so did my father. They had just met 6 months ago. But she told me that, even though her mother in law and her parents didn't approved the wedding, they celebrated with a lot of flowers and music. She was wearing a long, beige dress, with a bouquet of "who knows what type of flowers", and her hair was all tied up.

Nirvana was listening carefully.

-I guessed she lied. Look around. It seems like the Mr. Death was here.

-Even though, it is a charming place. Have you ever gone inside?

I looked at her in disbelief.

-Go inside of the church that had made my mom's life miserable? I guess I pass.

-This was the home of someone who was very important to me. I want to go in there.

And while she was saying that, I swear I could hear an older woman, as if her voice has changed.

Was Nirvana really my age? Because right now she is acting weird and older. The way she grabbed me, told me to choose wisely while I only remember her from the train. Her voice. Should I trust her?

We walked silently into the church, just so my parents wouldn't see me. I felt like I traveled just a week ago, but in reality, it passed 10 months and 3 weeks. Harlow's birthday is on February.

I looked astonished. It was a beautiful place. And my mom didn't lie! There were flowers carved in the walls, it has a Victorian look. You can smell the old air. It feels like we are in the late 1800s.

-What is your story, Nirvana? How come I can't remember you when I'm without you? But when I'm with you, I can remember our trip in the train...

-My story is long. Once I had found the thing I've been looking for the last decades, I will finally get to be in my reality.

-Which is the year...

-I don't know yet.

-What are you looking for?

-My daughter.

-You are not 18 at all- I said. She smiled me back.

-In this body, yes, I am.

I didn't know how to continue that conversation. I guessed it was done. We were hiding beside a big pillar. And there were few people. My dad was wearing a second hand suit. My mom was, indeed, with a beige dress, her hair was all tied up and the bouquet was full of different flowers: from bluebells and asters, to pretty ixoras. I laughed.

-Now you know the flowers- said Nirvana.

-Why am I here?

I was watching my parents' faces. Mom was happy, but my father had remained serious.

-You can't get over the fact that you feel like the guilty of their failure. You know that, since this day, it is all failure. And you had come 8 years after this. I don't know how to make you understand.

-You don't know what happened to my mom a year before she got pregnant of me.

I was crying, and I couldn't bare to see them anymore, so I walked out the door.

But they saw me.

-Who are you girls?- asked the priest.

And Nirvana killed me with her sight.

-I'm sorry, we were mistaken. We thought this was the church were my aunt was getting married. She is Nancy, by the way. My sister.

Of course, I haven't look back so they wouldn't see my face. And we ran out of the church as fast as we could.

-How would you do that? You mom knows you!

-I just...

-SHUT IT! This could bring her new memories!

-I swear it doesn't!

Nirvana was quiet.

-My mom has told me NOTHING about having new memories. And neither my sister in law. I carried her while she was a baby, when Harlow was born.

-You told me the story, you never told me the second part.

I told her the story while walking down a tunnel. And that is when I came back into my time.

I could remember most of the things now.

-You need to focus in what you are really looking for. And it is not the "stop" of your existance.

I looked down the street.

-I don't know how I keep coming from time to time. I don't know what I have done so far.

-Write down your memories. They will never dissappear. You remember everything now, right?- and I nodded. -Let's go get some stuff then.

-Nirvana, how do I know if this is real?

-By looking at your future journal.

-I guess I now believe in parallel universes.

She looked at my necklace. I smiled. It was a circle form, with the Agatha stone. It was in gold pink, and Harlow had given me this when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I remember being extremely happy. I was finally older, and I could be with that man with no problems at all. He waited for me many years. 8 years seems a long time. It is nothing really.

-Harlow gave me this when he asked me to be his girlfriend.

-You really don't know what you are carrying in your neck, do you?

I stared at her.

-That stone is the one that is making you travel like that. You are traveling because of Harlow! Girl, you are looking for something related to him!

-How do you know it is because of this necklace, what the hell?

And she grabbed me by the hand.

We were back on the present. Or maybe not. I realized whenever I cross roads on time, my necklace would shine. Nirvana looked at me with the expression of "I told you, gurl".

-When are we now?

-I don't know, but since it is all a little blurry, I guess we are in a memory of yours.

-But you were the one who grabbed my hand! You brought me here!

-Your stone shone, not mine. That means you made this trip.

-Do you have a stone too?

She nodded, and then looked behind me.

-And so does that girl. She is quite having your stone.

I saw Harlow kissing a blonde girl. That was Trisha Miller, an exchange student. England changed pretty Alaine Smith for that dork. We were in 2014.

-Look- I said, pointing at a window. -I am right now inside that house. It was my friend's house before she moved to Bradford. Anyways, I have been here before and I have seen that, too. I remember I cried, but just wait.

-What is it going to happen? Do you know the end?

-Sure I do.

We were sitting at the sidewalk and we made sure enough to not be caught by my 12-years-old girl spying on the window.

-But how old was he here?

-20. He is older than me for 8 years. And that girl is American. She was an exchange student.

-As Jackie* would say, who did we exchange for her?

-A French girl who is living now in Italy. Her name is Alaine.

-Cute name. That girl is a slut tho. Look at how they are kissing!

-I cried all day, I remember. Now, I'm the only one who can kiss him like that. By the way, no slut shaming is allowed- I said, trying to sound serious. But both of us just laughed.

And then, the good thing happened. Anneliese was carrying a little baby. Right now, not so little anymore. Theo was the son of a friend of hers, and she asked Harlow for help. When he didn't show up, she came all over the place. She saw them kissing, and her face was like "Bitch what the fuck are you doing?"

-Who is that woman?- asked Nirvana.

-Chill. You'll see.

-HARLOW EDRIAN SELLEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS GIRL?

And everybody in the place would turn around and stay to see the show.

-Myself is right now watching this, with wet eyes- I whispered.

-I bet- giggled Nirvana.

-Mom, what the...?

-Instead of making it in the street, why don't you take care of your son?

Harlow's face was pale, and the girl was scandalized.

-You have a son? You told me you were single!

-But I don't even know this baby! I SWEAR IT!

-The boy you are kissing was supposed to be studying, that's why I am taking care of his son. He doesn't even work and I have to feed both of them!

Trisha was so disappointed on him.

-I swear my mom is lying, baby...

-DON'T TOUCH ME, you pathetic LIAR.

And she started to cry. I was laughing in silence, and I looked up to the window where I'm supposed to be. I could see myself, and that self was laughing out loud. With red face, but laughing.

-This is so embarrassing- said Nirvana.

-I thought we had something special! Meaningful!

Anneliese was still holding the baby, and then grabbed Trisha by the shoulders.

-Darling, if his own son isn't important to him, do you think you are?

-MOM!

-He doesn't even care about me, look at me girl- and Trisha, all wet-face, looked at the most fake expression Anne could ever do as a sad woman- I'm old, and yet I have to carry on with two men. Don't get stuck with them. Be free.

And Trisha "thanked" Anne for her advice. She went out of there with dignity, saying she would rather die than taking care of the son of a stranger.

-Why the fuck did you do that, mother?

Harlow was really angry. There was something in his eyes when he gets angry. Like sparks.

-Respect above all, you spoiled brat. Second, that girl was almost going to give you a blowjob here in the streets. If she doesn't respect herself, fine, but you Harlow? I didn't raise you this way. And she would pinch him in the face.

People around were laughing and pointing at him and the girl. Nirvana was in shock but found the show very amuse.

-Why would you bring us to here?- she asked, still laughing.

-Let's go. Soon my mom is going to be here to pick me up.

We were laughing at Harlow's face and the tactic of Anne, and I could see my mom walking from far away. That day we went on McDonald's and I told her everything about what had happened. She cheered me up by saying that I would have my opportunity with someone even better. Guess I never stand up for that.

-I don't know why I brought us here.

-For how long have you loved him? How did you even meet him?

-I was 9 years old and I saw him at the shopping mall in London. I remember he was smiling and looking at where I was. My direction, I mean. And I have never felt that way before, but I got out of that place convinced that he was going to be my husband.

-You are a fuckin stalker! You give me the creeps, girl.

We laughed.

-I was afraid of my own feelings too. I guess I was right this whole time. He is for me. And this necklace is the proof.

Nirvana look the other way.

-Where, or I mean, when, are we heading now?

-You take us- I said.

She pulled out of her sleeve a bracelet. It was a turquoise stone.

I was sitting in my house already, and received a message from Harlow.

"It was a incredible day today babe. Thank you".

"It's obvious he didn't remember what happened today" I thought. I wasn't able to explain myself either, but I was sure any time soon I'd be seeing Nirvana again. Clearly, she brought me in my present. I don't know if it is hers as well.

I don't know how I ever have a day with Harlow, because I don't remember it. It didn't happen, so I don't know how is that possible. My whole soul and consciousness were traveling. Nothing made sense at all. But I tried not to worry about it, since any traveling leaves a mark or a memory in the ones I get to see.

I was sitting in the sofa, and asked my mom if she believes that love can surpass anything, even time.

-I don't know why are you always asking me weird questions, darling. But I do believe that, if it is strong enough, it would be able to surpass universes as well. I mean, you don't get to find your soulmate in other person, right?

Note: *From the sitcom That 70s Show, Jackie Burkhart in the pilot episode where she gets to know Fez.