Travel 7. I Can't Take It Anymore

-Are you telling me he is your boyfriend?!

Sam wouldn't believe me, and we already gave her like two liters of water just to calm her down. Her mom (my mom?) was at her work place, so we literally had all the afternoon free.

-Yes, I met him for the first time in a shopping. Back in 2011 too.

-How is it that you are old than me? We are the same age.

-I'm from 2020. We are in 2015, so for me, this is quite the past.

-And how old is Hayden? IS HE ALSO 8 YEARS OLDER? Or is he my age? How did you get with him?

Nirvana was looking at her, already tired of the fangirling.

-Don't call him Hayden, he is not! It's Harlow, a whole different person...

-WITH THE FACE OF THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, so cut the crap. Tell me your secret. If you are with him, then I could be too.

-Not really- said Nirvana. -Harlow isn't a top singer. He is a lawyer. Normal dude with normal life. -And every parallel world is completely different.

-Maybe I have something you don't have. Is how it works- I said.

-I don't know but, I ain't getting with a lawyer. That Harlow of yours might be boring. Hayden is something else...

She was looking at her Artz Wrapped poster, this time, only focusing on Hayden and his smile.

The same smile that has the power of melting me.

-Maybe you can meet Harlow- I said. Nirvana looked at me as if I were nuts.

-He is not Hayden. Not the same boy.

-And what if told you that all of the members of that band of yours exist in my group of friends?

Now, Sam was interested.

-Don't believe you- she said, crossing arms.

I grabbed a notebook with the face of them on the cover. Suddenly, I realized something: Oliver was also part of the band!

-OH MY GOD, WHAT IS HIS NAME? -I asked, surprised.

-That's Lathan, Lathan Palmore...

-WHAT? I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM BEFORE!

-Who have you seen then?- asked Nirvana.

-Only Harlow and Anwar. What the hell is doing Oliver here? - I asked.

-Maybe because he is part of the boy band? - said Sam, ironically. - There's no Anwar in the band. Have you seen Skins too much? His name is Jabbar.

-That guy over there is Oliver Poulter. He is one of my best friends and classmates in high school. He also has a twin brother.

-You're talking nonsense. That guy is Lathan Palmore here. He have two older sisters. The one who was rumored to have a twin brother, is Nyjah Hills -and she pointed at a blonde guy, someone who I haven't seen before. -But it was a lie that some fans created I don't know why. I guess it was a misunderstanding.

-Wow... Oliver have a twin brother, Derek. And an older sister, Rebecca.

-Hold on a second, are you telling me that they are your age, but Harlow is older? Because Hayden is the youngest of them all.

-There's something wrong in there- said Nirvana.

-That's impossible- finished Sam.

-It is not. I met my other self from another timeline. It was in 2014 and her name was Vanessa Viccario. She wasn't 12 as you and I would normally have. She was older, already a journalist.

-That is so crazy. I always thought the age were the same.

-There are so many cracked things. Time is one of them- said Nirvana.

-And do you know him? - pointed Sam at some blue eyed guy with brown hair.

-No, in my life he doesn't exist or I just don't know him.

-His name is Levi Tate. It is said that he had a relationship with Hayden, but again. Rumors and rumors created by fans. Levi is always denying it.

-And Hayden? What does he said? -asked Nirvana.

-Not a single word about it.

-What else do you have about them? -I asked.

-There are so many facts about them. Why do you want to know? Is there any reason?

-I'm here because I think that my purpose has something to do with Harlow. And Nirvana is here because she is searching for her daughter.

Sam looked surprised.

-A daughter?! But you look younger than her! - she said, pointing at me.

-Hey, thanks. You'll look the same at your 18th birthday.

-Why do you think this has something to do with your boyfriend?- asked me Sam.

-Because he gave me this necklace, and by rubbing it, I can travel. Besides, I had always said that in my past life I must have been in love with him. I never found quite normal to never dated a guy just because I was waiting for him to notice me.

Sam looked at me, half laughing, half serious.

-Are you telling me you are a virgin?

Nirvana joined her.

-I'm definitely not anymore.

-It's quite normal. If I were you, I'd do the same. Believe me, I want to marry Hayden so much...

-You "ain't" doing the same- I said, imitating her. -Because you like this George...

-HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

Nirvana laughed. This girl knew how to love many dudes.

With only 13 years old.

-I had already been here, I told you.

-Does he exist in your world? - she asked, slowly.

-No, I have never seen him. But in my life there is a dude whose name is Joshua. He was my first kiss, even though I didn't want it.

-He forced you to do it? - asked me Nirvana, not knowing about it.

-Yeah, he was drunk. Anyways, he kissed me and I was trying to scape it, until Georgia showed up and kicked him out of her party. It was one of her birthdays party. I was like 15 or 16 probably.

-Who is Georgia? -asked Sam.

-She is Harlow's older sister.

-Oh my God, Gillian! Her name is Gillian here!

-That was a name she would have if it wasn't for her father! Her dad told her mom that that name was creepy.

And I laughed, but then I remembered nothing else related to their dad. No memories had been created with that man. Not any good ones at least.

-What about you? -asked Sam to Nirvana.

-I can't tell you my whole story since I can't remember much. Is a whole messy thing. But I thought that I was her grandmother few hours ago- told her Nirvana, pointing at me.

-What a plot- said Sam.

-What's your story? - I asked her.

-Nothing much. As you see around. I'm a fangirl in every possible way. I'm a good student, always good grades without sacrificing myself. My parents are working right now, and I'm planning to study something about languages, probably English or Spanish Literature. I don't have a boyfriend and... Ah, yeah, you are my sister in this life.

Nirvana was shocked.

-WHAT?!

-How come you didn't say anything?

-Because I was waiting til it was safe to talk to you. Her name is Sophia Viccario. She is older than me for 4 years. We get along pretty well, but of course, we tend to fight a lot.

-And where is she now? Is she pregnant?

-Relax, chill out girl. Of course she is not. She is still a virgin who can't drive.*

And then she just laughed about it. Good reference.

-What are we going to do? Where are we going? Is it safe to take her with us? She knows everything now! - exclaimed Nirvana.

-I can't go with you anywhere. I got school and got a family here. Time flies when you travel around time...

-It doesn't, believe me. In my reality, things doesn't change at all...

-But in mine, does. You said you were here on 2014 in what, for you, was like a month ago or less. For me, it has been a year. I can't go anywhere right now. Changing realities would create a whole mess and I don't want to do that.

-Changing realities?- asked Nirvana, confused.

-Someone must be here in my place. The two of us can't travel together in time and if we do that, a lot of things would change, including the memories of people we care the most about, their feelings and our own existance might be in danger. Right now, it already is. And I can't let you see my sister, since that's gonna put her and you in danger, too.

This girl really is something when it comes to her family.

-You really love your family, don't you? - I asked.

-Of course I do! I might be the only one around my friends who has their parents still married, going on and being happy. They fight a lot but they love each other so much... I just think that Sophie and I are really blessed.

-Blessed? - said Nirvana and laughed. - Alex is an atheist!

-I'm not, and... Fine for you? I guess? - replied Sam.

-My parents are separated. Their marriage was a hell. Still is, even separated- I said, bitterly. Somehow, I felt jealous of her.

-I'm very sorry to hear that -she said, grabbing my hand.

For the first time, in the travelings I had, this was the only one when I felt connected to myself (literally, because Sam in some way or another, it's me), so I really wanted her to be with us. But I understand her reasons. Besides, it is my job to find my purpose. Not hers. What if my purpose affected her and without reason? I don't need any more inconvenients, neither does Nirvana.

-I gotta ask you something- I said. - Please, receive us every time. Try to receive us no matter what. I need you to investigate everything about time traveling and, of course, Hayden Stabler.

-Done. Timely Comics is my best teacher on time traveling. I'll help you out. You must visit me more often. And I hope you find your daughter.

She hugged Nirvana, and the bell of the house rang.

-Oh my, Sophie is here! Here, here, come here!

Sam took us to her kitchen, which was extremely big, nothing compared to mine. There was the back door, and we could get out of there in time, with no needing of scaping.

Nirvana could see Sophie waiting in the porch. Her mouth couldn't be closed.

-Is not like the first time you see yourself.

-But she is so pretty. Such a fashionista. I'm just here with this 80s trends.

She was carrying on a sweater with so many stripes and ripped jeans.

-I never told you this, but I love your curls. I wish I had some of those- I said.

-Should I take us somewhere, or you want to go back to your reality?

-I had a fight with my mom this morning, so let's keep going, at least until we find something.

She rubbed her bracelet.

And we were in the middle of London. Everything was so red and brown. Typical London day.

-It's a really pretty city, isn't it? - asked Nirvana, looking around.

-The good thing here is that, even if you are not a royal, you still feel like one.

We walked down the road, cars passing by. We look at a newspaper stand, and we were in 2017.

-Two blocks at the right, and that's where Harlow works- I said.

-Shall we take a look then?

We went there, since Harlow has been working at the Smith Law Company for almost 4 years now.

-That is so nice! He is just making his way at such young age- I said to my mom.

She had just told me the news of Harlow working as a lawyer assistant. It has its name but neither my mom nor I knew it.

-Honey, you are 12. Why would you say young age to a 20 years old man?

-Ahoy, mom. He is still young with a good job. 20 years is the peak of youthness.

-And you are in the peak of childhood. Anyways, he is studying hard at college too. He really is a good boy. I wish I would have been great at choosing boys too.

That made me a little sad.

-I mean... - she said, noticing my face -I'm happy for him, I really am. And so... Why don't you call him and congratulate him?

-You must regret being with my dad, right?

-I could never regret it. I have you in my life.

-Yeah, I think so.

I went to the Poulter's house, because Derek told me that this afternoon, Harlow was going to be there doing college stuff with Rebecca and Greg, one of his mates.

Sometimes I could feel how my mom regrets being with my dad. And who wouldn't? He could be such an idiot. But it didn't matter, right? They are always telling me that they love me, and in fact, I shouldn't care about their problems anymore. But I can't stop feeling guilty. Maybe if I wasn't here...

I wish I'm not here.

Slightly late, he came. He was wearing a red V-neck shirt, with some jeans on. His curly hair started to get longer. And his green eyes were so dark. Something about him screamed that he was such a danger for me. And yes, he is. I mean he is an adult. I'm a kid. Whenever he talks to me, it's like he is talking to a little boy. He doesn't even see me as a girl, probably.

Before he notices it, I looked myself at the mirror, located in one of the walls surrounding the living room. I didn't look like a 12 years old kid. I looked like a 15 years old teen. If only I could met him this year, if only I could be born before 2002.

-Hey Alex! How are you?

He just broke my thoughts, smiling at me, with those dimples that literally made his face worth of the whole world.

-Hi. I'm fine, and you? I heard you got a job at at law firm, so congratulations Harlow!

-Oh, thank you! I'm so happy. You see, I could get to have my money and then study a lot too. I'm just a helper, not biggie.

-It is a biggie. You are 20 years old, studying at a college. You could just still be fully dependant on your mother, yet you decide to go and work. Besides, you'll have tons of experiences from the real world, not only books.

He smiled at me. His eyes where shining. He smiled at me differently. I could swear it.

-So, are you done flirting with him, Alex? -asked Becky. I looked at her with tons of hate.

-I wasn't flirting - I said back, with Harlow still smiling at me.

-I'm doing the job now, don't get mad- said Harlow, going to the table. Rebecca winked at me.

-He is so lazy. Please, understand.

I rolled my eyes. He throw me a last staring before concentrating in their stuff. Minutes later arrived Greg.

I was planning to stay there until my mom arrives. But Derek was playing with Oliver at the PS2 and to be honest, I hate video games. I was so bored, and I decided to get back home on my own.

When I went downstairs, nobody was sitting on the dining room anymore. There were notebooks all over the table. I wanted to say bye, but since no one was there, I just went home.

It was probably 4 p.m, so maybe I would watch some movies. 10 Things I Hate About You needs to be re watched for the thousandth time by me.

I put on my earphones, and suddenly someone grabbed me by the arm.

I got scared, until I saw it was Harlow.

-I'm sorry, you didn't listen to me. I was calling you- he said.

-It's okay, I'm heading home. The boys get so boring while playing video games.

-Hey, that's my specialty. I'm going to take you home- he said.

-But my house is so near. I can go walking.

-I want to scape from Becky's claws. Besides, it's getting darker already.

-As your eyes- I said, completely into him.

He just looked at me, surprised.

-So, what are you exactly going to do at job?

-Well, mostly making copies, probably. Also, sign some papers, plan meetings with clients. And even making some tea or coffee.

-Interesting. And when are you going to start?

-Monday at 7 a.m., way too early for my own sake, but it's a good thing.

-Where is your work place?

-Oh, you see that building over there? - he asked me, pointing at the corner of a bank. I nodded. - Two blocks from there, to the right.

He is so tall. I could only reach over his elbows, but still under his shoulders. Adding the fact that I was young, I was also short. It will take me a whole decade to get me a little taller and at least, legal for this young man.

He was already a man. Why wouldn't I just like a boy of my age? My mom always told me she loves Derek over Oliver. But Derek is my friend. I can't see him like that. Neither he can't. I mean, ew.

I could sit and watch Harlow for hours. He had this kind of long hands with thin fingers. His skin was pale but his cheeks always managed to be pink. And his eyes were killers. They can be so cute, but so dark sometimes.

He was asking me about high school and what I would like to do when I grow up. I told him I wanted to study Literature, since telling him "I want to be the mother of your kids" was way too straight forward.

I got home. He have to return to the Poulter's house.

-Tell your mom I say hi. And also, don't be lazy like me. Or you'll have a Becky eating your head for the rest of your life.

I laughed.

-Probably I'm the Becky here. I tend to be like that. Anyways, good luck on your new job. I really want you to be successful.

And without him realizing fast, I gave him a kiss on his cheeks. And ran inside of my house.

All I could see later, was him being all blushed, but smiling.

-It's a really nice place here. But I haven't seen Harlow yet- said Nirvana.

-Me neither. Maybe in this life time he doesn't work here.

But I was wrong. He was arriving with one of his bosses. At least, I think so.

-Mr. Selley, please call Attorney Jang. The dealing with Cho Enterprises is still going on and we need to close business by far, this week. Schedule a meeting, and if it is necessary, you know how to threat them.

Harlow just nodded, with that characteristic face of "I'm gonna have it no matter what".

I followed him, to see if he knew me or not, since in this time, Nirvana and I got to be seen from people.

But when he looked at me, he didn't have any expression. He didn't say hi.

-Harlow? - I asked.

-Excuse me, do I know you? Are you a client of Mr. Scott?

-No, I'm Alexandra. Don't you remember me?

He shook his head.

-I don't know you. I'm sorry. Have we been classmates or something?

And my heart felt way too big and heavy to even be existing in my body.

Virgin who can't drive, famous quote in Clueless, movie from 1995. Brittany Murphy's Tai was having an argument with Alicia Silverstone's Cher.

In an interview, Murphy recalls that the phrase was improvised by her, just describing how she was back in the time and how she saw herself comparing to her experienced colleagues: " At that time, I was just a virgin who couldn't drive".