I was wrong

I woke up. And hit me. I remember what happened. It was heartbreaking and i almost lost her. I feel guilty. But i am glad nothing happens to Jane. I couldn't afford if anything bad happens to her i just can't, i rather die. Thank God she's safe. No one is here in the room. I feel empty. I look around i wonder how long i was laying in this bed. I tried to get up and i felt a little sting in my lower back. Oh right. I was shot.

This is all my fault. The blame is all on me. Fuck. I did this. I let this happen. If i wasn't that kind of dick to Zoe before. I guess i can't lie and cover this all up now. I need to make things right. I hope it is not yet too late.

I was the bad guy in the story. It wasn't her. And i can't keep on lying to Jane. I am afraid of course 'cause she might not accept me or she'll be mad or she might break up with me or she worse she will hate me. I don't know but she deserves to know it. I know a lot of things about her she's been so open to me and i am being unfair for keeping things to her. She trusts me so much i know it and it kills me to break that trust of her.

I need to call someone.

Where is my phone anyway? I look around and i found it in the table beside me.

I immediately dialed the number.

"Hey. It's me. Aria. I need your help."

"Well, who decided to call me now? And asking for help? You must be forgetting something." I don't have anyone who can help me with Zoe.

"I need your help. You have to listen to me first."

"Help?! . You have always been an asshole and now look at what you've done to her" i can tell the anger between those lines.

"I know and I'm sorry but only you can help me so please hear me out" i beg.

"What else do you need?!! She's been so crazy about you and now she's on the run. Fuck you for doing this to her. I told you i'll be the first one to kill you if you hurt her again."

"I've stopped a long time ago. I didn't mean to hurt her. But she.. She tried to hurt my girl and she didn't want to leave me alone. I know what i did was wrong but you know clearly the reason why." I explained.

"Shit Aria. I don't know anymore. But i am mad. I am looking for her and i am so worried right now who knows what she might do to herself."

"I know that is why i need your help. And clearly, you need my help too."

"Fine. But don't think about anything else. I am doing this for her, not for you."

"I know.. I'll text you when I'm ready i'll text you on where i am, come pick me up. See you" I said and hung up the call.

Luckily there is clothes left in this room i'm guessing Jane left it here. "I'm sorry baby but i have to do this first."

I dressed up and i sneakily get out of the room. They were two guys guarding outside my room but I manage to sneak upon them. I may have use a little bit of force. I went to the parking lot in the basement and there i saw her.

I quickly went inside her car.

"Are you alright? i mean you just got shot and it's just been 3 days since." She said as she drove out of the hospital.

"Oh so i've been out for 3 days?." I said.

"Yeah. I saw it on the news." She sadly said.

"Look.. i know how much you hated me. And i'm sorry but i swear to god. I didn't mean to hurt her but she's the one who keeps on insisting it. She didn't want to stop, you know, the things between us and you know how stubborn she is. Yeah alright, I've been a dick and i took her for granted but swear i didn't want this thing to happen it just got out of hand badly." I explained.

"I don't hate you." She said.

"H-huh? What?" I said.. what does she mean?

"I don't hate you in fact i envy you." She calmly said.

"Envy.. me? Why?" I am completely lost.

"Because her eyes is all on you Aria. She's so crazy about you and she can't forget you. I've been the one who's always been there for her. I cared for her. And.. i love her. But she doesn't see all of that. Because her heart belongs to you. And she's too far for me to reach." She said. Keith has always been a good friend to us but i never thought she's in love with Zoe all I know is how close she is to her.

"I.. uhm" fuck i don't know what to say.

"You don't have to say anything. I know deep inside i can't blame you. Love can really work in odd ways sometimes. I just hope she sees and feels that i love her. That i can be that person for her."

I am really sorry about Zoe i just don't love her i never been in love with her our thing? It was all lust and lies. I know it's an awful thing and i took her for granted. I'm not that shallow for me to not notice her feelings but i was a coward, i was a selfish person back then. All i cared is my self, my fame, money it has always been like that. All she is to me before is game, sex, nothing more nothing less. I was blinded by hatred. Hatred to myself. And when i finally realize things i guess it was too late for sorry too late for turning back. I run away from the consequences. I was afraid and a coward like i always have been.

And when i think about myself in the past. I just can't help to think about Jane, on how much i clearly don't deserve a girl like her.

"I'm sorry." Is all i said. And minutes past and it's been silent.

"So what now?" She asked changing the topic.

"I think i know where she is right now."

"Really?" She asked

"Yeah," i told her the place and she continues to drive and here i am looking at my phone. Everyone is so worried. I keep on receiving messages and calls. Most of them are from Jane.

She's worried sick and i can't help but to shred tears thinking about it. I will tell her soon. All of it. No more lies. No more cover-up. No more cowardice. Just honesty. Because she deserves that. I might lose her but at least she deserves to know that.

I love you so much Jane. And something bad almost happens to you because of me. I truly and deeply love you and i'm sorry for lying to you for all this time. I just couldn't handle the thought of hurting you but i guess i have always been hurting you. For keeping this thing from you, when you gave your all for me when i didn't. And it kills me. And it kills me Jane. I don't wanna lose you but i don't deserve a girl like you.