"Being a teenager is tough...you're still trying to figure out who you are and where you fit in, it's all about self discovery Heather," My therapist says in a calm voice.  "We are here to help you honey but we can't help you if you don't help yourself," My mother says with a voice filled with pity.Everyone around Heather sees her as this unstable teenage girl who clearly needs help but they don't know for sure what's wrong with her and neither does she. In this book of self discovery, love, passion and daring friendship Heather tries to make sense of who she is and if she's really insane, everything falls in to place with "1000 ʟᴇᴛᴛᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ." In my head I am sane but in theirs I am not...

1000 Letters to myself

I brush my hair out of my face and the kettel stops boiling."Mum I have to go and you seem quite busy we'll talk later okay," I say reassuring myself more than her. "Are you sure?" she asks and I nod even though she can't see me. "Yah, see you soon," I say biting my lip, my mum says bye and I put off the phone immediately.I don't know if I'm angry, frustrated or sad right now like why does she always do that? Why does she pretend to care but she doesn't? "Agh!" I leave the kitchen and head to my room instead.I bang the door so hard my ears zing, I'm just so angry right now I could strangel someone. I sit on the floor next to my bed and tears start to prickel my eyes. Tears I've cried so many times,tears that won't make a damn difference, it really hurts when the one person you want in your life to care, to listen doesn't want to listen and doesn't care about caring. I kick the base of my bed and scream as loud as I can, "I hate you! I hate everyone! You're all so damn stupid!" After a while my body gives in and all I can do is lay on the floor and cry my eyes out. I'm alone,I'm alone again and I will always be alone.I just wish I had someone who'd be alone with me and who'd understand all this.My eyes burn so I just close them and give in to the sleep I need and long for.


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