Chapter 16 - Grace

She stood at the windows in the bedroom of the room Martha had given to them, looking up to the clouds, but not really seeing them. Her mind mirrored that which she set her gaze upon, cloudy.

Everything she had been told downstairs was more than a spoonful, so much to swallow and she needed to catch her breath.

"Dear God, how do I go on?" She whispered. She felt her strength slipping away. She had been happy that Martha had answers, but now the answers were before them, she had no idea what to do about them, and all they did was wear her down. Where was the good in that?

My Grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in weakness.

"Mmm?" She heard herself say, her eyes were closed now, and the words she heard within her were soothing. She wasn't the most spiritual, but she had come across those words in the Bible a few times, and now hearing them echo within her, now of all times, when she felt drained, gave her new hope, gave her new strength, peace even and she let it wash over her. Tears tung her eyes as she looked up,

"Thank you." She whispered up into heaven. Surely the creator had been listening after all, she smiled at the possibility, allowed herself to be warmed by the reality of something so beautiful and divine.

No, she still didn't know how they were all going to make it, but she knew one thing for sure, the creator saw, the creator cared, the creator watched over. It was enough. It just had to be.

~~~~

After making sure that Martha had finished the water in her glass, he made her lie down on the couch. She smiled and made a joke about keeping him around, because he was so good to her. He smiled and simply brushed some stray hair out of her face, then he made for the stairs as well.

He stood at the door and took the sight of her in. She wasn't wearing one of her pants today, but a white blouse tucked into a pink floral skirt that swam gracefully below her knee. She was breathtaking, and his heart genuinely stopped when she turned around. He knew she was a beautiful woman, however, he just couldn't help it, how her beauty managed to leave him in awe, and she loved him, that left him shaken. He wasn’t an easily shaken man, but then the fact that a beautiful woman, not just any woman, but Hannah, a woman like Hannah, beautiful both inside and out, loved him.

He walked closer to her, and she smiled. but oh, he could see the ache there, could see it in her eyes

"Come here." Was all he said, and she went to him, and wrapped her arms around him. and she held onto him, as though holding on for dear life. God had given her new strength and peace, And here he was also giving her comfort, and she took it, unashamedly.

"It's so much, Jasper." She said, her words muffled against his chest.

"I know." He said, holding her. For he did know, perhaps he didn't know how much, but he knew the ache he felt in his chest was definitely for her, because of her. He prayed so much that the pain would be taken from her. She was so young, and her demons, in every sense of the word, were just so much. She was fighting so much.

"Don't leave me, Jasper." She said, gripping his body tighter, and his heart even more, if that was possible. Her voice sounded so much like a little girl's, and he had to look at her for what he was about to say.

He pulled away gently and held her chin in his hand, and with eyes firm and compassionate at the same time, he spoke to the deepest parts of her soul,

"I will never leave you. I don't care if the oceans dry up, or the sun turns cold. I have no care if the wind seizes to blow, or the flowers decide no longer to bloom. And if my body grows frail, and my head grows bald, as long as the creator breathes life in me, and gives me strength, for I know he put this love inside of me, I will never leave you, Hannah. Listen to me, never." Tears ran down her face, not for sorrow this time, but because looking into his eyes, she could see his beautiful words for what they were, truth.

~~~~

They slept, his hands wrapped around her, and her head on his chest. When Martha had told them to rest, they'd only said they would to pacify her. But it turned out that they were much more tired than they realised.

But Hannah was awake now, content exactly where she was, her head against some place she regarded as her safe place. She would never return to the castle if it meant remaining in Jasper's arms forever. The entire world could disappear for all she cared, in that moment, all that mattered was Jasper.

"Jasper." She sighed his name, and sleep claimed her again.

~~~~~

She woke again, he was still asleep.

He must be exhausted, she thought, if I've awoken twice, and he still sleeps.

It was then she realised she'd never taken notice of how he looked when he was asleep. He didn't look like a warrior then. He didn't look fearless, or relentless or all those awesome things she attributed to him.

He looked like a man, a tired man. His beards had grown some since they left the castle, and she now came to realise the dark circle underneath his eyes. His hair fell against his face, and she found it adorable. He didn't snore in his sleep, he was quite quiet, as though being quiet in his sleep kept him somewhat vigilant, perhaps it did. She sighed then. She'd been so overcome with everything that had taken a toll on her, that she'd forgotten so much about the man that held her like something precious, even while he slept. He'd been something of a rock to her. hell! He was a rock to her, and she'd let him be one to her. Of course she didn't want that to end, but with everything that God had made her see, she would be more careful, she would try her best to be a support system to him the way he’d always been to her, the very best she could. That didn't mean her feelings were no longer valid. Indeed they were, and with Jasper, she had a feeling they always would be. It was one of the reasons why she was more thankful than words could say that he loved her. One of the reasons she loved him.

~~~~

"How long have you been up?" Jasper asked in a sleepy voice that made her heart do wild mad things.

"Just a while. You've been busy." She said teasingly, he laughed and she was glad.

"Busy at What if I may ask?"

"Dreaming about me. You could go back, I won't mind."

"Now, why would I want to go back, when I've got you right here, in my arms, For real?" His deep sleepy voice just kept getting better and better. And she was going red with her own thoughts!

"Beats me." Was all she said, was all that could come out of her.

"Me too." She smiled into his chest, glad he was oblivious to the imaginings of her head and heart.

"Jasper?"

"Yes, my love?" He answered as he stroked her back tenderly.

"I love you, I love you a lot. When this is all over, I'll love you then. If you'll let me, when this is all over, I'll love you then too." His hand stopped for a heartbeat, and he resumed caressing her back with his gentle touch. He didn't say anything for a while, and she was beginning to fear she had said the wrong thing.

"Hannah?" He finally said, and she nearly sighed in relief. Nearly. He still hadn't said anything in response to what she'd said.

"I love you for always and eternity. When this is all over, I'll love you then too." Simple words, and yet she gathered them to her heart, kept them safely there, tucked away in the most sacred parts. She let the sigh come then, and moved up a little bit to look into his eyes, then she made him mad with her kisses.

Seventeen