Chapter 9

The rest of the day , l avoided Ferracco at all costs. I was still furious at him. I didn't want to face him because l knew then that he would read my thoughts like he always does and l would be end up being embarrassed further. It's not like we were dating or anything.

So why was l really jealous in the first place?

I pushed that disturbing thought at the back of my head. I didn't want to get attached to a man who was only a guest in my life and ended up having my little fragile heart broken all over again. I just couldn't risk it.

So l spent the day in my room snuggling under my blankets with my favourite teddy bear. My dad had given it to me on my highschool graduation and l have kept it ever since.

It was still cold and freezing outside. How l hated winters. There was a small knock on my door.

"Come in ," l called out in a sleepy voice.

This person just have to come when l was on the brink of falling asleep.

Just great!

The door creaked open. I craned my neck expecting to see Xiomara , one of the maids. It was almost lunch time so l expected Amira to send someone to call me downstairs.

But it was not Xiomara standing in the doorway , it was Ferracco , the last person l expected to see. I quickly sat up in bed surprised.

"Ferracco! What are doing here?," l asked him in a stern voice.

I didn't want to see him ever again. I was supposed to stay angry with him and avoid him until he takes his morning flight to Brasilia tomorrow and everything will come to an end then l will get back to my normal life and forget l ever knew him before.

But clearly luck was not on my side.

"Can l come in?," he asked with one of his drool worthy smiles and l found myself weakening again.

I cleared my throat a bit trying to get rid of the lump forming on my throat.

"Yes you can come in."

He closed the door behind him and walked further into my room until he reached my bedside. An uncomfortable silence settled over us for a moment.

"What did you want to talk about?," l asked him.

He looked hesitant for a moment.

"About last night. I...," his voice trailed off.

I swallowed back a lump of tears. I knew what was coming. That he didn't mean to do it but he was caught up in the moment. That he has a girlfriend back in his hometown and he was going back to her.

"It's okay. It was a mistake," l finished for him as l felt pride swelling inside me.

I was not going to give him a chance to further humiliate me.

Ferracco stared back at me with a baffled look on his face. He probably felt hurt that l had got to say those words first.

Well, tough luck!

"Jane , l know that it was uncalled of but l really .."

I held up one hand to silence him.

"I don't want to talk about it," l said in a firm voice glaring at him.

He looked hurt for a moment that l almost reconsider my decision.

"If you insist," he said before walking back towards the door.

He paused by the door and looked back at me over his shoulder.

"Amira sent me to tell you that lunch is ready," he said before walking out and slamming the door after him.

I stared at the closed door gulping back tears.

Why is my life so damn complicated?

I sent Xiomara to bring me my lunch upstairs. I was relieved that Amira and Lola had gone into town otherwise they would have bombarded me with questions of why l couldn't come down to lunch.

At skipped dinner and Amira came up to my room demanding why l couldn't come down to the dining table and l lied my way through it saying l had caught a mild cold. Amira had gone into her mother hen mood sweeping through my drawers searching for pills and stuff. She left afterwards after she made sure l was tucked under a mountain of blankets.

****

It was past midnight and l was still wide awake. I kept on tossing and turning in my blankets. My senses were tingling with alert. I knew it was a bad idea to drink coffee this late. Now l couldn't sleep at all.

But l had been feeling nervous all day and coffee has always helped me to think.

Guess it was a wrong move!

Because now as l lay on my back on my bed staring at the ceiling , a lot of reprimanding thoughts were rioting through my brain.

I felt guilty. It was only a day after my parent's funeral and here l was already yearning for some stranger. I eventually drifted to sleep .

I woke up startled sometime during the night. My room was dark and the moon casted a pale light on my bed like a spotlight. I heard light footsteps approaching my bed and my heart began to race in fear.

Who was tiptoeing into my room at such an ungodly hour?

What if it's an armed robber?

A cold trickle ran down my back at the thought. And the realisation that l was the only one sleeping on this floor made it worse . l was practically shivering in fear by now.

If it was a robber , l wondered how he got past the security because as far as l was concerned , my parents hired the best security in the city.

The footsteps were edging closer now. I opened my mouth to let out an earth shattering scream when a large hand clamped over my mouth. I closed my eyes dreading to meet the robber's eyes which l am sure looked murderous.

"Shh!," he said.

He slowly removed his hand from my mouth and my eyes slowly opened. A gasp escaped me.

"Ferracco!," l harshly whispered feeling angry.

Ferracco was half sitting on my bed wearing his usual smirk . At that moment , l wanted nothing but to smack him on the face.

Stupid idiot!

"You scared me half to death . What are you doing here?"

I stared down at him and l was shocked to see that he was shirtless and only wearing his boxers. His face was illuminated in the moonlight shaft.

His hair was tousled and sticking out in very direction possible but it only managed to enhance his attractiveness. He looked dangerous.

I was supposed to feel fear right but no, my heart was racing in anticipation. Anticipation of something l didn't know what.

My eyes moved back to his shirtless torso and l gulped back. I could see his muscles flexing under his tanned skin. I felt colour rising in my cheeks.

How shameless of me!

My heart was still racing madly.

Thump! thump! thump!

It felt strange and uncomfortable being alone with him in the dark. My hand reached for the bedside lamp but he held back my hand.

I stared back at him in confusion. I opened my mouth to speak but he silenced me by placing his finger on my lips. The bed dipped besides me as he sat next to me.

Our eyes are set on each other and suddenly the atmosphere changes. The air seemed charged. Butterflies were erupting in my stomach.

There was a deadly silent. The only sound in the room was the thumping of my heart. I am sure he could hear it from where he sat.

It was embarrassing!

I bit my lower lip feeling nervous . Ferracco's eyes followed my movement and his eyes suddenly darkened. He bought up his hand and lightly stroked my cheek as his intense gaze held mine.

For a moment, l was lost in his gaze, swirling in the endless shades of blue. A shiver swept through me at his featherlight touch. Frightened by all the new sensations running through me, l jerked away from him but he pulled me back in his arms and gave me a slow- seductive smile.

He suddenly kissed me and l couldn't help it but kiss him back. He released me and stared at me as if asking for my permission. I slowly nodded my head swallowing . I knew what l was getting at and l couldn't control my emotions.

Ferracco cupped my cheek and captured my mouth again while his other hand ran through my blond hair. I felt myself being pushed back on the bed . That night l surrendered myself completely to him. That night l gave him my innocence.

That night was the beginning of all my nightmares!

****

Spent, Ferracco collapsed next to me , pulling me into his arms, holding me tightly. He gave me a lazy smile before dropping a light kiss on my forehead.

I closed my eyes smiling , basking in the new feeling .

I felt loved and treasured!

I wrapped my arms around his waist feeling contended and exhausted. My eyelids began to droop until l fell asleep in his arms.

It was dawn when l woke up the next day. A pale light was already filtering in through the curtains.

"Morning sleepy head," Ferracco said besides me.

My eyes turned to him and l smiled. He was already wake and leaning on his elbows staring at me with a lazy grin on his face.

My heart did a somersault as l stared at him smiling at me. I didn't know it was possible to love someone overnight but l already did.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and he cradled my head on his chest. I snuggled to him, relishing in the feel of his warm skin.

"Morning ," l answered him.

We state quiet for a moment. Ferracco pulled back and stared at me with a sardonic look.

" Why didn't you tell me? I could have stopped."

I smiled back at him. I knew he felt bad about taking my innocence but it was the complete opposite for me.

"I can't imagine being with anyone else , other than you. I don't regret anything."

l was being honesty. Ferracco had given me the greatest gift of all. He raked his hand through his midnight black hair.

" l feel responsible and protective of you , Jane."

He looked anxious for a moment before saying,

" l can't imagine you with anyone else. It makes me furious to even think about it."

I laughed at his statement. He already looked possessive. I guess we shared the same sentiment.

" You don't struck me as the jealousy , overprotective guy," l told him with a grin on my face.

He smirked before leaning down to peck my lips.

"For you , l can be anything," he said.

My heart glowed again. He ran his hand through his hair again.

"Hell! I can even kill any guy who so much as lay a finger on you," he growled.

I stared at him baffled before laughing so loud.

"Now you are scaring me," l chuckled.

His expression looked serious for a moment.

" l want you as my wife," he suddenly blurted out.

My heart skipped a beat and l gasped in shock. Did he just propose to me? I guess he did but not the romantic way l have always dreamed of but it was all the same.

Ferracco just asked me to be his wife!

" Ferracco!, " l whispered , my eyes welling with tears of joy.

" l have never been so sure of anything in my life. I know l can't lose you to anyone,"he added quietly.

The tears l have been pushing back now freely overflowed on my face. I realised that l loved him too and l couldn't bear to lose him to anyone. It would kill me.

" l love you Ferracco . l want you in my life."

He looked almost relieved as if he was not sure l would agree. A huge smile broke out on his face before he captured my lips with his.

This time the kiss was slow , gentle and not rushed. It was like a seal of the promise between us. A promise to love each other until eternity.

I know it sounds corny and stuff. But that was the feeling l got at that time. When we finally broke apart for air , he kissed my forehead and said,

" l will return to Brasilia today but l will keep in touch with you. "

I felt my heart sink at his words.

"But ..."

"Let's keep our relationship a secret. Now is not the right time to tell your family. You just lost your parents .."

There was real concern in his voice. I also saw the logic in that.

" Tell me about your family?, " l asked him.

I had suddenly realised that l knew nothing about this man yet l was ready to be his wife. I only knew that his mother died in a hit and ran car accident.

For an moment, his eyes clouded. It was as if some invisible curtain has been drawn. He seemed to have withdrawn from me, to have gone into some secret place of his own mind and heart. I stared at him in confusion. It seemed a painful subject for him to discuss.

" Ferracco!"

"I don't have a family," he added lightly. I could discern the contempt in his voice. He was bitter about his family.

"Where are they?"

He suddenly sneered.

"I don't know and l don't care. After my mother died, I was sent to an orphanage." His voice was muffled , thick with emotions.

I felt my heart swell in pain for him . I felt sorry for the pain he had suffered knowing that he was rejected by his family. I suddenly felt grateful that l had spent twenty three years with my parents.

I enveloped him in a tight huge.