Anguish of the fireflies

Thunder boomed loudly and a downpour started. Sierra could hear the roaring of the rain, the flapping of the flags that were used on the shops to show to which division they belonged, the whistling of the wind through the alleys giving her the creeps. The fireflies died as the rain took them out one by one. Duncan watched her as she rushed from her place trying to save them, with her small hands and pitiful mind. It was struggling against the deep. You can't save a dying creature when death decided it was a better fate than living.

Duncan stayed still on the ground for a while until she gave up and retreated taking shelter from the rain. She crouched letting her hands imprison firmly the only bug she managed to bring out. As she opened her hands, Duncan moving to her side, the bug was already dead. The firefly didn't make it. It was meaningless for her to try and save it. Her eyes jolted to the dancing flames on the street lamp as rain couldn't make it down. No one questioned why rain couldn't take it down because everyone was used to that. However, Sierra did deep in her mind; she knew it wasn't a normal grey flame, she knew that the normal flames she had in her home were normal and died in contact with water.

Thunder again. Loud and menacing. The storm laid its wings preparing to hit with its strong winds. Duncan watched her chest rise slightly with every breath.

"I like it," she broke the silence. "I like thunderstorms. They felt real to me, not controlled by some kind of outside forces. Doing whatever it liked, speaking loud while everyone listened. Do you think it was meaningless to fight for that firefly?"

She was quiet for a moment and Duncan watched her as his mind came up with a considerate answer. He wanted to tell me to just give up and live the way Etrana wanted. It would give her short pleasures but she would stay alive. Being alive brought back possibilities of change while dead meant nothing; it just stopped everything.

"Not really. Not the way I will remember you by… It's still naïve but I think it's good that you made an effort; it may have made a difference if it was a human. You got a gleam in your eyes that even this wretched country didn't take away. However, one day, if you stayed alive enough, it will be away like the day you were born. You will regret wasting time on hope because deep down inside you, you hope."

Her eyes moved to his face as her mind thought of what he just said. She thought that she didn't hope for anything, that she preferred death instead of just being a puppet. It was hard to fight all the ideas and refuse to accept them. She lingered on what he said for a while, thinking about how to answer him.

"Humans don't die of rain," her body stood up as her legs couldn't keep the crouching for longer. "I don't really hope. I am trying to show that I am still the same in front of my father. He doesn't need to know I am affected. Everyone can gossip and nothing can be hidden. I don't want to give my father a reason to leave me yet. I am afraid of a day when no one would accept to take me. My mother doesn't like me."

Imagining a life without her father made her voice come out of somewhere else. It was rough and fighting back something inside of her, words she didn't wish to say to anyone. She wasn't a fool to dream of something that could get her out of Revampirina; she didn't know what lies beyond that wall. She knew deep down, no matter how hard she tried to deny it, she would always be different from others. You can't just change yourself in a day; it needs days and nights crying while burying what made you the way you were.

"So you will suffer if your mother takes you. I thought all mothers liked their children."

"It is the case. I saw mothers trying to contact their condemned sons despite the eyes of the others. You know… I was almost a condemned. It was my father who saved me from it. I don't know what he gave up in exchange but I know he sacrificed something big. Since that time, his career declined. He just drank more and spent less time with me. Sometimes I just want to know what he really sacrificed and sometimes I am just afraid of what I would hear so I give up on asking."

"Are you afraid of breaking further? Isn't it the same? Isn't it better knowing? At least, you would know and not feel any regret. Sometimes not knowing is the worst thing. You should ask him. Maybe you can give something in exchange and help him become better."

He checked the sky as the rain prepared itself to stop. He thought he should walk her home and not force her to stay any longer. He had never intended to use weaknesses against her; he was just teasing her because she talked to him and she was a human.

"I am just scared," her words were devoid of any emotion, not showing the meaning of what she said. "I have been torn between taking my life and leaving it as it is. I don't want to be the cause of my father's death but I don't want him to suffer because of me either. What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

"Is there a problem with it? Either way, you will both die. Isn't it the same? Whether he dies because of you or you die because of him," he showed her a baffled look as if what she said was something to be surprised for. "You will both end up lost within the realms of death. We have a deal and I am not in the mood to kill you yet. Work on it. Make me desire your death."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. His words were accurate but it wasn't something to say to console. It was wicked and vile. She wondered about the reason he felt that way too. She felt they were connected somehow. There was a time she thought the same. They both desired to die and both were keeping each other from it; it was funny. Her lips curved into a smile then she burst into laughter.

"Are you stupid or are you born stupid? How can I make you desire my death? Should work on you hating me? Make you hate me? You said you were capable of it. Should I get down on my knees and beg you to kill me?"

"Isn't it the normal course of being suicidal? You can't do it on your own so you must beg me for it."

They stared at each other for some time before Sierra walked away as the rain wasn't strong enough to make up drenched. It was already midnight and she had to be home. He followed her until she got inside her house and peeked from her window to check if he was still there. She waved a goodbye at him smiling whispering it wasn't a bad night. At least, it was better than hovering over the death of her teacher.

Duncan chuckled as he darted away. If she wanted him to kill her, he had to buy her from the Country shop; it was a place where every human in Revampirina was listed. Vampires could buy them before their adulthood and wait till they reach that period to feed on them or wait till they die and buy their remains from another shop. It was akin to slavery and Sierra was a beautiful young human. He had to buy her before anyone could.

He engaged in the underground tunnel but instead of going to the association, he went to the shop. There was a man with glasses sitting with a bored expression. Vampires weren't many as a race and not everyone liked to buy humans before their death. Human's blood was like wine; the more it aged, the more it was expensive and succulent.

The man raised a brow as he knew who stepped inside his shop; he returned to his seat and acted as no one came.

"I need to buy someone. Look for Sierra Borges between your files. I will buy any amount requested."

"Aren't you poor? I won't buy your pretenses. Go away and shoo from my sight. I need to focus on my book; I am in an important moment. Do you know that humans can write amazing stories?"

He slammed his hands against the counter and released his murderous aura. He didn't care at the moment if someone felt him; he needed to buy her before anyone else.

The man tried to release his aura as well but he felt the blood in his veins freeze and his power leaving him; he was forced to look at him in shock. He had never expected a hybrid to cause this change in him.

"I will look for her immediately."

"This is for the better."

The shopkeeper disappeared for a few moments and returned with two files. Duncan raised an eyebrow confused.

"There are two files for the requested person; one who we were forced to kill because of the Ustriestan and the other one adopted."

He opened the file and saw Sierra with her usual expression. She was adopted; it was why her mother treated her that way. Her husband stripped her of a way to give birth to a child. No wonder she hated him.

"That file was done recently. This human wasn't listed between our archives. It seems someone gave birth to her and abandoned her in the forbidden forest. When the public execution occurred, she was within our sights but we couldn't find her files. She wasn't listed anywhere and her father registered her instead of his dead daughter. We keep tabs on everything so it's impossible that this would escape our eyes."

"But she was born!"

"Yes. No one knows where she comes from. Someone must have been pregnant and threw her because maybe the couple had a child. This is the only explanation and someone was negligent enough to not know that a human was giving birth to a child. May I ask you why you are keeping your abilities unknown?"

"To keep the Empress out of my back. I don't desire her to follow me; you know how she is."

"Everyone of us is loyal to her but the change in power can happen any time. I will give her to you for free. I made that file in speed and the higher-ups still don't know about her. Perhaps we will see a unique story unfold… I am bored of reading the same books."