Goodbye Love (Last Days of November)

November 27: I wanted to give up. I could not withstand it any longer. I just wanted to forget him. Why could he not inform his parents about our relationship? If I could inform my parents, why could not he?

     I could not inform my parents because they would take it the same way as her mother had taken it. I did not want to make things unbearable. 

      And why did he blame me for everything? Was it all my fault? What did he mean, by saying if he had not had sex with me, I would have sex with my friend. I remember the day when I told him, "My friend has proposed to have sex with me on my birthday!" But if I wanted to have just sex, why would I have not had sex with a friend. Then why would I have sex with Raydon? It was all so confusing.

     It can not be love. He was blaming me for every happening. I can not take this blame anymore. Fuck off, love!

If it was all my mistake, I should be the one correcting that mistake.

     'He does not love me at all!'

         She did not know that I was so close to her home. I could hear her crying. I could not open my window because it was hard for me to tolerate. I loved her so much but, she left me all alone like this. Why?

    It's been a day I have not talked to him. I am feeling so lonely now; my insights are telling me that I want him. I need him. I can not live without him.

       I had blocked him half a day ago but didn't know why I unblocked him just now. He does not call anymore. It all ended. But maybe, there is some hope left for this love to be remembered.

                                                                                        TO BE CONTINUED...