Confusion

The night was a blur, fun, but a blur for Samantha. She didn't know how to act. It just made her feel about a hundred different things all at once. She wanted to hover and stay near him, to feel his warmth, to calm her and his anxiety. But she didn't. She didn't want to look clingy. She wasn't his girlfriend, just a friend. She didn't want this, did she? There were a hundred different reasons a relationship with him would be wrong, and mostly she didn't want to ruin what they had.

As the evening wore down, Abagail gave them a tour of the house. They met her mom and genuinely felt comfortable. Nathan signaled to her with a slight nod of his head that he was ready. She could tell as he kept fiddling with his ring. She had noticed when his anxiety had enough, the more he would do this. Right now, she was worried if he spun it any faster, it would fly right off. She smiled at Abagail and went to walk to Nathan when she stopped her. "Hey, I was going to tell you, my brother Adam likes you," she finished in a rush. She looked towards Nathan and back at Samantha before she continued, "I just don't want him to end up in something that won't work." Samantha noticed Nathan was standing still staring at her, and she knew he heard and was waiting for her answer. Samantha smiled at Abigail, "thanks, girl, but with just getting out of a relationship, I am not sure I am ready for one just yet."

She gave Abigail one last hug and walked off. Nathan bumped her shoulder and smiled at her. She just shook her head, punched him in the shoulder, and took off running. Her hair was flowing, and feeling the crisp air in her lungs. She pushed for speed. She knew she wouldn't outrun him to the car, and he was a runner. Just as she reached for the door handle, she heard the sharp sound of the lock button. "Dammit," she cried as he grabbed her and spun her around. She gazed up at him, his eyes wide and curled, escaping out from his cap. He gently leaned down and whispered to her, "you can run, but I will always catch you," before he took her lips again.

Samantha shifted her back. She didn't want this to get out of hand, nor was she exactly looking to be something someone did for fun. She smiled at him and hugged him, he unlocked the car, and she slid in. All the way home, they talked, they laughed, and genuinely got to hang out, and before she knew it, she was out in front of her house. She saw her mom shift the curtains to peer out. Samantha smiled and thanked him for the ride and as she was getting out. Nathan stopped her. "I want to know what it is like to sleep with you," he replied. Samantha's face was instant alarm. She just didn't sleep with anyone. Reading her face, Nathan had realized what he said and started waving his hands frantically. "That's not what I meant," he hurried. "I just want to know what it is like to sleep with you. I feel so comfortable when we talk when we laugh. I would probably get the best night's rest knowing you were there," he finished quickly.

Samantha calmed down after hearing his explanation but was at a loss. She never really did things like that. Not that she was opposed, she just had never trusted someone like that before. She didn't know if she could be that vulnerable with someone. Sure she had gone all the way with her fiance and one other guy, but never did she stay overnight. She didn't trust anyone, which should have been her flag not to get married. She drifted back to look at Nathan, "maybe one day," and with that, she got out of his car and walked to the door to her house.

To say the next couple of days were weird was an understatement. Nathan had been distant again. She could tell it was awkward between them, even at Lindsay's and Keith's for game night. He just was dismissive. Samantha wondered if this was the swing people had worn her about happening. She found herself sitting in her and Abigails' usual spot when Nathan brought over a tall leggy blonde. Abigail stopped talking to Samantha to also look at this girl. Saying she was pretty was an understatement. She was everything Samantha wasn't and always wanted to be. Nathan urged her to sit, but Samantha could tell from her body language she wasn't about to, so he stayed standing when he slung his arm over her shoulder and smiled at Samantha.

"This is Samantha, my best friend, Sam this is Ashley," he said with a smile. Samantha felt like at that moment she took a bullet. She could feel Abagils eyes on her. She just didn't look her way. Samantha smiled at Ashley and said hello, but she could tell it wouldn't be friendly. Nathan swung his arm off her, and she told him she had to grab notes from a friend. Nathan asked her how she liked her. He said he really hoped this went somewhere, and a whole bunch more Samantha just ignored. Ashley reappeared, and they walked off. No sooner than they did, Abigail jumped on Samantha. "Where did he meet her, when, how," her questions flew. "I don't know. We haven't really spoken in the last few days," Samantha was at a loss. She hadn't wanted to be more, but now, she didn't know how to be just a friend.

The next few days proved to be even more than she thought, as Nathan practically paraded her around. She couldn't tell if she was just that jealous or if that was really going on. He even took her to game night. Samantha sighed. It was a disaster as she clearly didn't fit with the group. But ever trying to be the supportive friend, she didn't fight him. As she walked down the hall at school, a boy had smiled at her. Samantha turned her head to smile at him and noticed he had the most beautiful blue eyes. Later they had bumped into each other again and started talking. This was good, she thought. I need to stop thinking of Nathan. Before she knew it, she slipped him her number and walked away smiling, for the first time in days.