12 : Confusion

Every since that day when Dave left him in the office dumbfounded Steve couldn't sleep at night. It's been two days and two nights he didn't sleep. Everytime he close his eyes his mind will automatically replay the scene of that day. What bother him more is the fact that Dave's avoiding him again. He sighed spacing out in the ceiling of his room. Today is Sunday and tommorow's Monday again. To simply put, he'll meet Dave again. He'll be avoided again.

He spent his weekend full of thought. Steve is always alone every weekend since his mom is working, it can't be help. He didn't bother to chase after Dave, who wouldn't avoid him after what happen? Surely Dave is disgusted.

Just with that idea, Steve felt a pang in his heart. It's tightening as if someone is squeezing to death. It hurts. He can't tell whether the idea that Dave is disgusted to him or the idea that they can't never be the same again or maybe it's both? He's not confident what it is but one thing is for sure, it hurts. It hurts to death. It hurts to the point he wanted to cry.

Steve turn to his left, hug his pillow and then squirm. He buried his head to his pillow closing his eyes thinking it's better to sleep than to fill his head with pain thought. A lone tear escape from his eyes.

---

"Good morning Steve," Leo greeted.

"Morning," he greeted shallowly.

It's supposed to be Dave. It's not like he don't want to guard with Leo or whatsoever. It's just he hate that Dave is making it so obvious, it's so obvious that he's avoiding him. Leo on the other hand, notice the disappointment screaming in Steve's face but didn't bother to ask. They've been friends for 3 years of course he knew it's better to keep his mouth shut than to be nosy. Steve hates it.

Steve saw Franz, this time with ID and proper uniform. He didn't greet him so Franz. They just ignore each other as of the existence of one another is nothing that makes Franz anger. For him, Steve is arrogant who act superior just because he's the vice president. He simply hates everything about him. He want to punch him and remove the arrogant attitude plastered on his face. He wants to see him to beg for mercy.

Steve who don't have any idea continue his job. He just wish the day end so that he don't have to see Dave who continue to avoid him.

"Steve," Karina called who just arrive at school wearing a plain brown skirt two inches above her knee paired with a white long sleeve polo that he tacked in, a brown necktie, and a long white sock and black shoes for his bottom.

"Good morning Karina."

"Good morning. My mom overcook this morning. She said to give this to you. Let's eat together," Karina smiled giving a lunch box.

Steve nodded, "Thank you."

The young woman look closer to him and tilt her head, "Are you okay Steve? You don't look good."

Her voice's full with worry. He felt guilty, "Don't say nonsense and go to our room the class will start soon," he lightly flicked her forehead earning a pout from her.

He slightly smile and fondly ruffled her hair. Thanks to Karina, he experience the feeling of having a little sister.

"Hey don't do that. I work hard for this style," Karina slapped his hand.

"Yeah yeah."

Dave who went out from their room to the gate to check up on Steve saw the interaction between Karina and him. He suddenly felt a pang in his heart, he wants pull him away from her and hide him behind so she wouldn't able to look at him with those eyes. He knew well what those eyes are. The adoration and tenderness, it screams love just like his.

He doesn't know if you can call it love. Is it even possible to fall in love with his friend? with a guy? What if he just mistaken love and friendship? As of now, the best solution he can come up with is to avoid him and figure out this confusion.

He's been avoiding him for 3 days and he still can't find the answer to his question. A sudden thought cross his mind. What if in his way of finding answer he lost a grasp on Steve? What if avoiding him make widen the gap between them? He don't know what to do. It's all because of that damn game. If only that peace of paper didn't fall. If only that memory didn't came back.

Dave sighed. Nothing will come up in blaming others. Instead of regretting it's better to face this problem. He can't always avoid Steve, can he? It's not just his feeling is in the peek of death but their friendship too. That's right, first, he should consult to his friend. But who? Leo? No, he'll just give nonsense advice. Chester? Right, Chester might help him since he loves reading romance book—

"Dave what are you doing here?" A voice pull him out of his thought.

He's too focus on his thought that he didn't notice Steve and Leo walk to him. He look at Leo and then to Steve, to be precise, his eyes drop to Steve's lips. The kiss from last week crash into his mind. His blood rush into his face making him to feel hot and blush. He still can't stand near to him. He might end up kissing him again— What is it even possible wanting to kiss your friend?!

Afraid of losing his control Dave uttered a word "cr" then run off. For a hundred time since that day, Steve was left dumbfounded again.

"What the hell?" Leo and Steve said im unison.

"Did you see his face Steve?"

"Of course I have eyes you know," he said still stunned.

Leo gave him a I'm-so-done-with-you look. He just shrugged and walk. He wanted to punch Dave for giving him that look. It gives him unnecessary hope. It's like saying, " don't give up on me and chase me."

"So cruel," he whispered.

"What did you say?" Leo asked who walk the same pace with him.

"I said walk faster or else we'll be late."

They arrive at the room where the teacher is already on the center table with his notebook in his palm and calling for the attendance. They excuse theirselves before sitting to their respective seat.

"Dave Lee," the teacher called but no Dave answer.

The teacher look at his direction expecting an answer for why Dave is still not in his seat. They've been inseparable since 1st year to the point when the other one is missing, it is expected that the other one know the reason behind it.

"He went to the restroom sir," the teacher nodded after hearing his answer.