| Idle Hands (Part 2)

Not before the soldier finished his sentence, Soo-Ah instantly turned her head for the entrance, but no one stood in front of it anymore. She smiled awkwardly back at the soldier and resumed feeding him.

No more words were exchanged as her thoughts roamed freely around Sung-Ho, out of her control. This time, she found their journey soothing.

After spending the breakfast hour in the infirmary, Soo-Ah got her chance to plead with the doctors. To no avail as she could not convince them to accept her help. Not even from those who knew her and who had gladly thought of her before. It seemed that, even if they knew her, they too had an issue with the dress she wore. Or they were in no dire need of new helping hands for now.

By noon it was time for what had become a custom. One Soo-Ah went back and forth to decide if she should attend. She was equally anticipating and dreading these planned encounters with the general, the man, the dream. Her torture.

*

The table had been set and the food had been brought out, while General Sung-Ho waited for her, in his precious seat, with a wry twist of the lips. She was late.

"General Sung-Ho, please forgive my tardiness." Soo-Ah stopped as soon as she entered and greeted him respectfully, waiting to be invited in.

"Keeping yourself busy in my camp, Lady Soo-Ah?"

Soo-Ah pretended she did not know what he was talking about as she came to accept his silent invite. "In fact, I am coming from the field hospital. I had hoped I could be of service."

"And were you? Of service?"

"Only until I was found out." Soo-Ah smiled bitterly. "It seems your doctors do not take lightly to women in their infirmary."

"Perhaps they fear for the troops' unstable morale around a woman. Spend no more thought about it. My commander is expected to return tonight so tomorrow you can be on your journey."

Soo-Ah did not expect her time here would come to an end so soon.

"No need to look so disappointed, my dear lady. Think about the new life awaiting you. Away from danger and dirty camping tents. Away from grumpy men. You have ahead of you a new home, perhaps even marital bliss, children."

"If you are so happily married then why don't you speak about your family?"

She must have pushed something out of its place inside of him because his smile slowly turned. "You will meet my family and I am bitter I cannot introduce you myself. But I do have children. I have a daughter, who will soon be ten summers old."

"May she become your family's pride," Soo-Ah offered a usual well wish and stopped probing. It was clear Sung-Ho was unwilling to divulge more about his "marital bliss". So why was he pushing her into marriage?

"I am never getting married," she made sure to convey in a categorical tone.

"That would be a pity. I have seen your caring side today while tending to those injured soldiers. I have this hunch you would be a wonderful mother. You are at an age when children should be clinging to your skirts."

She set her eyes upon the man and allowed herself a witty remark. "Mother Nature is not going to trick me into that either."

Sung-Ho half smiled and scratched the scar on his eyebrow to ease out the furrowed lines. "I see you are as determined as the last time we discussed this matter. I had hoped my...suggestion would have swayed your opinion."

"That was not a gracious suggestion for the general to make," was all she could add to dodge a direct response.

"I admit I may have been out of place." Sung-Ho mused, pouring her tea as an unspoken invitation to share something. "In my defense, I felt obliged to help you understand the duties and benefits of being a woman. I mean, considering you have no female kin nor companion close to teaching you that being with a man is not meant to be a horrific experience. Men stand to gain lifeforce from a woman's enjoyment so we strive to please her."

"I am going to indulge in this conversation." Soo-Ah's posture tensed up, ready to contradict him, or herself. Or the notion. She was not sure anymore. "For women, there is no pleasure. Only tricks. Perhaps you men do believe all that nonsense about Qi and intercourse or perhaps it is a made-up story meant to keep women silent and submissive while you have your way with them. No man ever brought such pleasure to a woman."

"Is that a challenge?" Sung-Ho spoke as if to himself and laughed briefly, struggling to keep a composed expression. "Judging by your flustered look, my dear lady, I believe you did follow my suggestion, and you did feel something. And this is why you are so vexed because I was right. "

Soo-Ah offered no reply, choosing to ignore him and focus on her food.

"There is no shame in discussing it, even if you find me unfit as a discussion partner. As there is no shame in saying you did not know what to do, my dear lady."

Soo-Ah darted her gaze at him. "You are making assumptions unfit for this table," she snapped back.

"I might be if this was any other table. To everyone else, our discussion might seem unfit. But no one is here and no one needs to find out what we are discussing, do they?" And leaning forward, like making a confession, he added, "Maybe I am not that good with words. They do say the best way to teach is by showing-''

"Showing!? As in you, to show me?" Soo-Ah jumped, scandalized.

As soon as those words were spoken Sung-Ho quickly clamped shut his mouth and remained with an awkward look on his face. The gears of his mind must have been turning as his eyes glinted for a moment.

Soo-Ah stared at him. His expression took on the guise of determination. He reclined on the backseat, placing his arms on the armrest and tapping on the carved animal figure with one finger, searching for words.

"You soil your name, General, and insult me thinking I would –" Soo-Ah resolved to steady her outrage. At any moment, terror should come crawling at the simple thought of sharing something so intimate with him. But she found she was expecting that terror in vain. Only curiosity began to emerge in the back of her mind.

The great general stood up and approached, with his hand extended, awaiting hers, to show he posed no threat. "I am telling you I can show you. Nothing more. If you like it or dislike it, you can decide after." The determination on his face hid behind something else. But he remained calm and composed. "I assure you I will not do anything improper nor any of the things you saw your big brother do. I will barely even lay a finger on you. My dear lady, in the most respectful of ways, I can show you how to touch yourself. You need to experience some of the sensations I was telling you about before passing judgment and accusations. And before making such hastened decisions about your future. But only if you allow me."

Soo-Ah could not get over the "show and tell" part of the general's speech and replayed the same question in her mind, "Show me? How could he show me? Without hurting me?" It allowed for her curiosity to get the better of her but she clung to some self-awareness. "This sounds like a compromising thing to do." She shook her head like a child coaxed to do an evil deed.

"It is just you and I here, and I can vow it will not be compromising for either of us." He still stood there, with his hand expecting for hers, gentle, mannered, commanding.

What was it about his instructor-like, dominant approach that had slowly brought around her confidence? No one had had the opportunity nor the courage to speak to her about this subject in such an honest and transparent fashion. She also toyed with the idea he might fail to convince her. That would be a small victory over him, a chance to rub in his face that he was wrong.

Still, reassurance was necessary to sway her stubbornness. "No one has to know?" Soo-Ah found herself blurting out as a pang of desire clapped against her original aversion. She waited until Sung-Ho lightly shook his head. "Then, will it hurt? The way you plan to show me?" she finally brought herself to ask.

"Not one bit. I am aware of your mistrust of me. I would do all in my power to change that. Hopefully, your aversion towards intimacy would follow. I have nothing to hide, everything to teach, my dear lady."

His words were so compelling to her ears. Going back and forth in her head about her options, curiosity, and some strange appeal this man slowly gained in her eyes, eased her decision. "And what would you do to me?" Soo-Ah asked in an apprehensive tone, placing her hand in his and rising from the chair.