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“Mom, can you please stop drinking?” I said in a pleading tone, I took the glass with my right hand that has alcohol. “Give me that,” She commanded, but instead of giving it back to her, I raised my right hand and pulled it away from her. She has been drunk for weeks now, I really don’t know what’s happening. I don’t want to think anymore. I want to rest.

There’s one night that I threw her alcohol away, but she bought those again right after. I don’t know where her money is coming from, but I’m sure it’s not Dad’s money. Dad has been trying to pay our debts before they go to Makati. They will stay there for months to work. Aunty Amelia was the one who’s paying for my tuition, she tried to hide it from me, but I saw her one time at our school, paying for my tuition. She paid all my debts in School, and now she’s giving me an allowance. I once declined, but she will still convince me until I can’t say no.

We’re starting to be financially stable because of Aunty’s help, and Dad got promoted. Also because of Aunty Bella’s help. I haven’t talked to Harry for a while now, I can’t reach him. He will always decline the phone call. I tried to call Aunty Bella but she’s also not answering. I didn’t worry at all, maybe they’re just busy.

“I said give it back!” Mom’s loud scream covered the whole kitchen. My eyes widened in shock.

“P-Please, mom… no,” Her angry eyes darted on me, I just sighed. I’m getting… used to her. I need to understand her. Maybe she’s just going through something. I looked at her and gave her a tired smile, with my tired eyes, I looked at her intently.

I looked at her pale skin, swollen eyes, dry lips, and her dark under-eye. She even has wrinkles now. I miss my mom. I miss the old her, the jolly her, the clingy her, and the caring her. I can’t even remember when was the last time she smiled. We are the almost perfect family but suddenly, it feels like we turned into a broken family. They used to be a family I can call a family, but now, it feels like they are a family I can call a stranger.

I saw how she calmed down when I looked at her.

“What’s wrong, ‘my?” I asked gently. Her eyes became shocked and teary.

“What happened… to you… to us?” Her tears fell.

“Did I do something wrong? Am I… Am I a bad daughter?” My voice broke. I looked up so that the tears would not drip from my eyes.

She took my hand, caressed it softly, and slightly squeezed my hand.

“I’m sorry, Briana…. I’m sorry.” She started crying while holding my hand.

“Your Dad wasn’t wrong, I r-ruined us…”

“What did you do, Mom?” I forcibly closed my eyes. I don’t want to cry. Even just for Today.

She shook her head while wiping her tears away. I let out a deep sigh, tired and empty.

She’ll tell us when it’s already the right time.

“I’ll tell you when it’s already—” I cut her off.

“The right time?” I asked coldly. I knew it.

If it’s not the right time, when will it be?

As the day goes by, I’m already getting tired. I’ve been waiting for so long, for her to tell me the explanation.

She nodded and smiled sadly. I gave her a forced smile.

“I understand,” I said firmly.

“Thank you, Briana.” I nodded.

“Please, stop drinking.” I didn’t wait for her answer and decided to leave. I saw Dad painfully smiling at me, I gave him a small smile. He was at the garden, with his usual tea.

“Hang in there, Ana… Everything will be okay.” That nickname. I hate it. I turned to him.

“I… hope so, Dad.” I shrugged before leaving.

I’m starting to lose hope.

But I trust them.

***

“Finally, you answered!” I quickly moved my phone to my ears. Tsk, her loud voice.

“Why?” I asked. I carefully walked down the stairs after walking on the stones. It wasn’t that dangerous but it’s scary, especially right now that I’m alone. There’s some steep part but I can still manage. I’m here at Calibato Lake in San Pablo, Laguna.

“Why?! Where are you?!”

“Why are you shouting?!” I fired back.

“Okay. Where are you? We’ve been looking for you.” I sighed. I just want to be alone, I want to refresh my mind because I feel like I’ve been toxic lately.

And I miss Travis, we haven’t talked to each other for 2 weeks. We talk but we’ll just remind each other about it and that’s it. He always looks tired and one time I asked him, he just said, “I’m okay.”

We don’t go to the rooftop after class, we don’t do picnics, we don’t hug each other, he’ll just send me home and say goodbye.

I already miss the life with him, these past few weeks I feel like he’s out of my life.

Maybe we’re just both tired.

I went straight to the small path I was walking on surrounded by grass, as I walked I could already see the lake.

“I’m in Laguna.”

“Laguna?!” I understand why she’s shocked, it’s kinda far away from Metro Manila. And I went here, alone.

“Yes, I commuted.” I used the money that Aunty Amelia gave that I’ve been saving.

“God, Briana! You’re stressing me out! What will I tell your parents?”

I chuckled a bit. “Don’t be stressed. I’m fine. I just want some alone time. Tell them I’m going home, maybe Tomorrow.” I just heard her sigh.

“Fuck you, I’m worried.” I smiled. I know.

“I will come home fine, please, don’t worry.”

“You’re just 16! Why won’t I be worried about you, huh?”

“Stop scolding me! I managed to go here alone fine, I will manage to go home fine. Alright?”

She finally agreed after minutes of reminding me what to do. That’s Sabrina. She won’t be Sabrina for no reason.

“Tourist, Ma’am?” A man asked, he’s probably working here. I nodded and gave him a smile.

There’s a boat right here called Balsa. After renting a boatman, he started to fix the Balsa first before letting me ride on it. I am not fond of riding a Boat because I’m scared that I might fall. I probably know how to swim, it’s just that I’m afraid of falling.

I used to enroll in swimming lessons when I was a kid, and I remember one time, I saved a boy. It was in La Union. I gave him a duck lifebuoy but he ended up getting swayed by waves.

“You’re alone, Ma’am?”

“Yes,” I gave him a nod and a smile. “Oh,” My mouth formed an O when the Balsa started to move.

This is too peaceful here. The chirping of birds, the sound of water in the lake, and the wind's sound can only be heard. Those sounds bring me peace.

I looked around and almost no one was around, there were people but they were on their way home.

It was a big family, they looked so happy while riding a Balsa. It was a 2 Balsa and there’s a boat in the middle. The sound of their laugh made me realize how sad I am, the number of their family members made me realize I’m all alone.

Minutes after thinking, the boatman talked.

“Ma’am, we’re here in Lagalas Falls. You can shower there if you want.” He said more information, I just agreed and thanked him after that. I have more clothes so I decided to take shower at the Falls.

But when I started stepping forward.

I realized I wasn’t alone at all.

Someone’s at the Falls, and he looked… so tired. His eyes were swollen, his eyes were red. The aura in his face was really different, the aura that I feel like I’ve seen before. He looks scared and tired.

“Travis…” It was almost a whisper. His face cleared slightly. The shock and joy on his face combined.

He went directly to me and pulled me into a tight hug, he didn't care even if he was wet.

“I’m sorry, love…” I closed my eyes because of the word he said. I missed that. So much.

“You went here alone?” He turned to me.

“Yes,”

“Why are you here?”

“I just want to relax and refresh,” He smiled, before getting his towel. Before he wiped, I immediately took it from him. “I’ll do it…” I smiled.

“I miss you, I miss this.” He whispered.

I missed you so much. And I missed this, too.

“Wanna talk?” He asked. I just nodded while wiping his hair. I gave the towel to him after I finished.

“Let’s talk.”

We were seated somewhere we could sit, it didn't matter if our seat was wet.

“Happy 2nd Anniversary…” He handed me a small box, it has a “PRADA” in the middle of it. I wasn’t very familiar with names but it looks so expensive!

My gaze didn’t leave the box.

I heard him chuckle. “Don’t worry, it’s not that expensive.” He said like he was reading my mind.

I opened it and it revealed a gold necklace. I carefully hold it and look at it intently, it has a heart-shaped pendant and a small logo-engraved medal.

He took it to me, then he went behind me. He put my hair on the side, and he put the necklace on me.

Wow. It’s so beautiful.

Then he turned to me, and slowly kissed my forehead. I can’t help but be in tears. I just… miss this, his hugs, kisses, laugh, voice, everything about him. I missed him so much.

I hugged him so tightly as if I didn't want to let him go again.

“I’m sorry, love…” I whispered.

“Hmm, stop crying…”

“It’s just that… everything is tiring,” I said.

“I’m sorry for being rude…”

“Shh, I am at fault too,” He gently caressed my cheeks.

“I’m sorry for not understanding you, I’m sorry for being impatient…”

Damn you. You are always understanding and always patient with me.

“Nah. You’re always understanding and patient, don’t ever think of that.”

“Mhm, okay… can we now please stop saying sorry?” I chuckled and agreed with him.

“I haven’t been home in weeks,”

“What?” I asked, confused. Is he saying he didn’t go home for weeks?

“I was homeless for weeks…” He added.

“What?!”

He smirked at my reaction. “I’m sorry for not coming home to you,”

Oh.

“I was homeless for weeks, too…”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Can we come home now… to each other?”

His lips formed a smile.

“I’m coming home now.”

“I’m coming home, too. I’m coming home to you,” I kissed him on the cheeks.

“We can rest now, we’re not homeless anymore.”

He is my home, a home where I can find and feel the rest.