CHAPTER 20

Ellen

A nightmare is how I summarize my life, since my parents died when I was eleven, my sister Ana Luiza took care of me and my brother André, he was the oldest of the three of us, and he was always an idiot. André was quarrelsome, involved himself in all kinds of trouble, and not even when he got pregnant with Maria did he change, never wanted to know about his son, never called anyone but himself.

In our three-bedroom house, we lived four people, Ana Luiza and my nephew Alex, André and me.

Alex was only five years younger, we grew up together. I took him to school, took care of him for my sister to work, he was my life.

A few years after my parents died, my sister had breast cancer and left us. I was just a teenager and my brother was responsible for us. Of course, I had to work to support the house otherwise we would go hungry. I managed to keep Alex at school, he was a good boy. Everything was going well until André started taking Alex with him.

God knows how I tried everything, I fought, threatened, but there was no use, and the more money reached Alex, who at the time was only twelve, the more unreachable he seemed.

At that time, I was also dating a boy in my class, he was very handsome, with black skin and expressive eyes, he was always being romantic, saying or doing things to make me happy. I lost my virginity to him and it was the best thing in my life, he even managed to advise Alex. What I didn't know was that Diego was a drug dealer.

The bastard left drugs and guns in my room, the police got there and found them. The fact that I was in his backpack, and also that I was a minor, I managed to prove that I didn't know, but I just didn't go around because I was a minor, I think it wasn't worth the paperwork at the time. Diego was imprisoned in a juvenile institution for three years and left there worse than the devil.

Now he didn't sell drugs, he ran the drug trade — and that's how my hell started. Mine got involved with him, sold drugs, but consumed more than he sold, and still used to keep sex easy, When Diego got him he sold me in exchange for his life if I hadn't seen Diego stab, André, in front of me maybe I didn't believe it.

And he didn't deserve it, but he was my brother, my only family. If to save his ass, I had to pretend to be Diego's girlfriend for a whole year shit, I would.

Alex was caught by the police with drugs from André, he was beaten bad news. I took care of him in the hospital, and he promised to make sense of it, that's when I rebelled for the first time, I put André out of the house, and I threatened to hand him over to the police if he approached Alex again, it worked for a while.

When Diego's time passed, I sent him to graze, but he charged the price by beating me in the middle of the Griss nightclub, he did everything he wanted then he let me go, but in a way, he never got off my tail. When he started calling Alex a brother-in-law, the other drug dealers left him alone.

Of course, my joy is short-lived, André and Alex disappeared for a few days, I expected the worst. I was at home when they arrived at dawn, André said he got involved in a fight, but I know what a gunshot wound is, neither of them gave any explanation, I took care of my brother until he was healed and just left the bed he left without looking back.

One night Alex came into my room and asked me for help, he said, he didn't want that life, but André wouldn't let him out.

I promised to help him, but he didn't want to tell me what happened, I preferred not to insist and if he wanted a new life I would give it to him.

Alex went back to school, got a job at a hardware store, he was doing well. I was in the second year of high school, Alex lost a year because of André's frames, but he was recovering. I was proud of him, I was in the last year of the technical nursing course, Alex left his class and ran to meet me on the way out, so we went home together every day, he was even dating, the girl Lívia was beautiful and worked with him.

But there was a day that I stayed late at the bakery where I work and on the weekends I work overtime at night, and Alex went to pick me up because there would be no bus at that time — damn heartless boss.

I saw him across the street, it was dark and there was an alley behind him, he always did this to provoke me, just because I told him to wait for me inside the bakery he said he was a shadow man, he was cute with those dimples, I would do anything for him, and I did.

I was almost halfway there when two men got out of a car and cornered Alex in the alley, I wanted to shout, but the voice disappeared, my brain chose to answer my feet and I ran up to him, I don't know how or what happened me I jumped on the man punching his head with all my strength and only after being taken off him is that I realized that they were armed — that was an execution.

Alex begged them to let me go, but I just wanted to know why, what was the reason for that, so I asked Alex what he had done to deserve to be executed, but he swore he had done nothing, I believed him and continued kicking and asking for an explanation.

The tall man with a strange hat on his head, his counterpart even in low light, told me he was 60 years old or more, he heard someone on the radio or phone, I don't know, I just saw him raising his fist to his mouth and saying — yes sir!

Soon after, my world turned upside down, when he raised my nephew and his gun clicked, he would shoot.

— I only follow orders — he said, that's when even under Alex's protests I asked to see the boss, I said I just wanted to know why if we were going to die I wanted to know the reason.

It was then that once again André destroyed our family, the man in the car was in a dark part, but there was a small light facing me.

He told me how André and Alex tried to kill him along with three other boys who were not so lucky — if he could call our condition lucky.

André was still alive, but he was in their hands, Alex was taken somewhere passed out, and I was in the hands of a madman, rich and strange.

— Your life for theirs, that's my price.

And again I was giving myself into the hands of bandits to save my family, but this man in front of me was a professional, a real criminal and I would not come out alive this time, I was coming in, so they could leave.

I was somebody's property again, there were no demands other than not getting involved with anyone and not doing anything stupid.

He said he would leave and come back weeks later and that he knew where to find me, this time I wouldn't challenge him, it wasn't Diego, he was someone much more dangerous and I needed to save those two imbeciles.

He let me go and get Alex, the story I made up about them looking for someone who had robbed a big shot mansion and that I had managed to prove it wasn't him, it was enough for Alex to believe him even though he was very scared and so was I.

Days later André appeared, thanking me for saving his life again and said that he would stay away from us, and has done it for now. He works at a gas station in a city in the interior of São Paulo and rarely calls or makes contact.

The man without a name, but with the most beautiful face I have ever seen, is also gone. He was very tall, light-skinned, but with a light tan, his brown hair so light it could be called blond and the greenest eyes I have ever seen, Alex has green eyes, but they look faded close to his eyes. Nameless man.

I couldn't go to the police, after all, if what he said is true Alex and André would be in trouble, besides those men didn't look like they were stopped by the police.

I could only hope and hope that he would lose interest in us and never come back.

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