Forgiven

Eve

If this guy knew how nervous his making me, it feels like I'm about to lose my shit, he better starts talking or else I'm gon be gone. I wonder what is going on his mind, because looking at him it looks like his mind is not even here, its like his seeing something precious or someone he has longed seeing.

"Do I have something on my face?", I had to cut off that weird trance he was in, it really was starting to give me creeps. "Not at all princess, just looking at Gods beautiful creation" I almost choked on my own spit and can't help but be flushed, "aww is my princess blushing?" and now he just made it worse. I try maintaining a straight face so he can see that there's no way we having a normal conversation as if we some sort of friends. "I don't mean to be rude but can we just cut to the chase", as much I would've loved to just look at him all day, we had to rap this up. We were already getting attention.

"Right, uhmm Eve I don't even..." he seems to be not having words to say and I have to admit, this is the first time I can clearly say Nick has some sort of uncertainity lingering in his eyes. Is he that out of words or he just doesn't want to say anything beside his apology, "I know what I did to you years ago pretty much hurt you and nothing I can ever say or do will make up for it, but I am kinda hoping you'll give me a chance to prove myself to you.., that I'm not the same old jock that goes around hurting people..I'm not sure if you getting me but I'd really appreciate it if you'd give me a chance to show you how I humbly apologise for all the wrongs I've done you."

"I've long forgiven you Nick", and with that I just turn and get out of the cafeteria avoiding any eye contact. I don't even know where I'm heading..wait rephrase that, I know where I'm going. Only place I know I'll get to let what I said sink in, I think dad was right I only needed to hear those words and I needed to hear him being sincere and genuine. I needed to hear him say them actually meaning them not just his consciousness forcing him to say them.

I get to the bleachers and let my thoughts linger about everything that has happened...a month has not even passed but I'm already thrown with such bullshit. I don't know but I think finally admitting it out loud that I've forgiven Nick sort of moved me. I don't have that heaviness upon my heart anymore, its like forgiving him has lifted up a baggage I didn't even know I was carrying. I feel so alive right now, dad was so right I did need to hear him out. Smiling to myself I just sit there listening to some music and think about the eyes I've always favoured..damn the nigga has beautiful eyes.

Nick

And she just left me...again. Just after letting me know she has long forgiven me but its like she accepted whatever I did to her which is sort of true, she did in a way and the last time I pulled a prank on her was when we were in elementary school where I had her soaked up by water balloons which unfortunately had to be the last time I saw her and that day her eyes left a message and now I feel like those eyes were still leaving the same message she left that day. They held alot of emotions that I can't even point out, its like she is leaving again and I can't have that I can't watch her walk out on me again. I don't think I'll be able to handle the heartbreak.

Without thinking twice I go after her.

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I appreciate the support.