Broken Plans

My mouth was clamped shut by my demons. I couldnt talk to or approach another living, walking, talking being. My demons concealed me. They locked me away from the living, the walking, the talking. I attempted so many times but I could see all the possible outcomes in my head. The pressure would build and spread through my brain and claw at my mind, causing me to escape from new people, new places, new experiences.

This feeling was sempiternal.

Then he came. A soldier of light swooping down with his angelic wings and his sword forged from a thousand suns. He came and destroyed the demons on this island of darkness in my mind on which I was trapped. Even if they pounced from the never ending waters from around the island, he would just swoop his valiant sword and quell all these insecurities, anxieties and self-doubts. He lifted me from this island of darkness surrounded by a black sea, my self-proclaimed insignificance.

He always looked towards the ground. His black wavy hair would cover over and block view of his beautiful hazel eyes; and the occasions he did look up at someone, his fringe would fall to cover one of his eyes. He smiled whenever someone would look at him, but the feeling of disarray and unease was in the air around him. People liked his presence. He was kind. He was gentle. He was intelligent.

Whenever I was around him I saw him light up. His happiness bought me joy. He made me smile. I thought Id never be able to but he made it happen. We spent every day together from the first week of university. The air around him changed. He seemed happy. He began to walk with his head up. After our first year we got housing together. We started our story.

We would go out to the mountains close by the campus leaving our home near sunset time. We would reach the mountain and sit on the side a part way up it. The sky would turn from a flame like amber to a rose pink velvet. I would dance along the hill as he would look out at the view.

We always started heading home when the sun was down but the light was still glowing in the sky. This way we could still see our way around and not have to hurry. There was one occasion when a group of three thugs approached us. One of them was armed. He attempted to attack us. Out of instinct I grabbed the armed thugs wrist and dealt a heavy strike to his elbow resulting in a resounding crack echoing through the air. He had taken out the other two when I had looked up. We quickly left the scene and a few days later we found out they were wanted burglars who would attack students. We laughed about how we both had a strong form of self-defence.

He suddenly stopped laughing and walked up to me, standing at six feet tall, he wrapped his arms around me. My head pressed against his chest. I felt a sense of fear and relief. He was worried about me. I wrapped my arms around him. My hands barely connecting around him. He cared so much about me. I loved him for it.

It was our third year in university. We were looking for an apartment for us to live in once we moved out of our student house. He had been hiding something from me. I wasnt really bothered with it until I found an old diamond ring with the date of the final day of uni and my name on a label next to it. He was going to propose on the day. There was a piece of paper next to it that read Hina and Ken Fuji Shito. He was planning our name for if we got married. He was going to keep my full name; Hina Fuji.

The day came. We both had graduated. We celebrated the graduation at the house. He played a soft song on the radio and we danced until the sun began to set. He held me close, he loved me dearly. I never let him go and loved him eternally. 

Our love was sempiternal.

We both left to go to the mountain. The sky was a beautiful amber fire, glowing over the campus and mountain. We made our way forward. He held me with his arm around my shoulder. I snuggled my head onto his abdomen. He suddenly halted. He said hed forgotten something important and ran back to the house. He told me to wait.

I waited. The sky turned velvet pink. I waited.

I ran back to the house to check. The sky was a ruby light radiating in the sky. The windows were smashed. The glass shattered into the house. I stepped inside. There was blood all along the floor. There was a ring case on the floor, opened with only a note of love but no ring. I couldnt bring myself to read it

Why did I wait? Im useless.

Why was I stupid? Im insignificant.

Why am I an idiot? Im now alone.

I was on an island. All alone. The demons surrounded me. Dragging me down again. The black sky showing me no hope. I was falling back down again. The only light around was red. The burning trees engulfed in an inferno like the broken plans we had for our future.