Beast

No. Not yet. Never.

Those were some of the most memorable words her father would say whenever she wanted to try something new. Previously, before she became a lost waif, the young and ambitious Sumire followed her mother's footsteps, seeking a role model to survive in the world. Yet with each coming day, her presence became gradually less, and her father had begun his hostile takeover.

She could not act on her own. Supervision was translated into stalking. A mental barrier was outlined for almost everything that Sumire wanted to do, and each had magical thorns that pricked her skin when in reality, they were comforting vines that embraced her. Her father created those thorns, and they would prick her every time she wanted something new.

Who could ever live a life like her for a total of ten years?

Some have lived shorter and some have lived longer. But regardless of those aspects, Sumire was always that one child that had hope when her mother smiled. Those were only on rare occasions when she would return home. She protected her child when her father would not. She fought against difference and difficulty when her father would not. She allowed her freedom when her father would not.

Yet her father was with her for the majority of her life.

The blights that Genesis soldiers used scarred Sumire whenever they were used. The crimson silhouette of her father's outline hounding insults and reprimands with an unjust mentality couldn't stop her nightmares from inducing its traumatic power. She awoke from her sleep with a gasp, sucking in multiple breaths of air as if she was being defibrillated for revival.

"Hey," Maven's recognizable voice called as he panicked, moving towards Sumire after dropping a flashlight he had been holding onto for a night light. "Hey! You okay?"

Sumire pressed her left hand against her chest, looking into Maven's eyes with her eyes dilated. Her mouth was agape as she gasped for air. "S-Sorry," She stammered, wiping the sweat from her forehead. "Just had nightmares, that's all."

"From the blights, I bet," Maven said. "I've been having them too."

"You have?" Sumire asked, regaining her strength and stamina to normal.

Maven brushed his shoulder across his cheek to hide his expression. "I told you that I had problems with my father, didn't I? Every single nightmare is another evil projection of him waiting at the end of a corridor to greet me with nothing but a frown."

"Just a frown?"

"Not only a frown," Maven said. "One of those old oriental Oni masks will get you riled up, no doubt. Ugly bastard. Always hated them when I was young because of how disgustingly terrifying they were. This could have meant that all he was to me was a demon in my eyes. A demon, thirsting unrelentingly for power... and satisfaction knowing that I was a disappointment of a son."

"You don't think you're really like that, do you?" Sumire asked, brushing aside the side effects of her nightmare.

"Me? Well, I don't really know."

"Doubt you are," Sumire chuckled, shaking her head as she laid back on the dirt. "I sometimes think I'm a disappointment too, but..."

"But?" Maven interrupted.

Sumire lightly shrugged. No matter how much she thought about her family, she only reminded herself of how corrupt her father was. But even so, Sumire suddenly remembered the positive memories of her mother. She giggled, tickling her nose with her fingers. "Cotton candy..." She tried to contain her laughter.

"Huh?"

"Amusement parks were always my thing," Sumire continued. "I remember when I first saw that grand opening of Marisawa Balloon Park back in Asahikawa. Rainbow streamers and confetti splattered all over my face when my mom carried me in her arms. And then I got cotton candy stuck in my nose when I buried my face into it for the first time. I started to get a sweet smell for the rest of the day after we went home. Come to think of it, my..."

Silence filled the air. Maven had been laying on his side listening, but he wasn't facing her. As soon as the seconds subsided within the silence, Maven turned around to look at Sumire, noticing her face had halted with a deep blush.

"Sumire?"

"Sorry. I just remembered that my father was there too... and he was happy," Sumire continued, holding her breath. "Why did I just... remember that?" She asked herself, astonished. She stared into Maven's eyes, frozen in time. "I always remembered so much of the bad stuff that he did that I had completely forgotten about all the good in him."

"What exactly... changed him?" Maven asked.

Sumire pondered deeply about his question, frightened to dig too deep into her past. She pressed three fingers against her forehead and gave up. "I can't think about that right now," She concluded. "Not while we're stuck in this dirt-trap."

"You know... eventually you'll have to think about it," Maven said. "Right?"

"I don't have to think about anything related to that," Sumire said, standing up to lightly stretch and reset her mind. "I've got better things to think about it."

"You know I'm right."

Sumire gritted her teeth, fouled by Maven's insistence to know about her father despite his cruel background. "I don't care if you're right," Sumire muttered. "Do you really have nothing better to do besides talking about my father?"

"It's all I can do when we're down here, really," Maven said. "You just said that you remembered that your father was happy when you were at the amusement park. Did you choose to forget that, or are you just running away?"

"I'm not running away from anything!" Sumire roared back at Maven. "He's the one that ran away from me and my mother when I needed him! Why the hell should I care about whether or not he was happy?"

Maven chuckled, sitting up with his legs crossed together amused by Sumire's rash behavior. "Are you the kind of person... to live a life full of delusion and negativity to the point that you'd run away from anything that you find unsettling? Is this all just a question about 'who cares about who' or he or she didn't do this? Are you always going to run away?"

"You're really pissing me off," Sumire confessed. "I just told you I'm not running away from anything! I'm fighting to protect my brother and my friends!"

"So that you can do what?"

"So I can-" Sumire stopped, thinking about her true intentions. She had never wanted anything else besides protecting the ones she loved, but she knew that it was all for gaining the strength to return to her mother to apologize for the weakness that she had. She realized that in the end, she did run away from her father to move on, and it was all just a moment to buy them time. "So I can just... be free from all of this."

"How can you be free?" Maven asked. "In my eyes, right now you're a fugitive. You're a fugitive with a ticking time bomb and a leash that's attached to your neck that extends from miles away to your prison. I know how it feels. I've had those moments where my father held onto my leash and yanked me back. But I cut free from it. I cut all of it away, knowing that when I did, it made me a better person. A free and independent person who could do anything they wanted," Maven leaned forward and eyed Sumire with a questioning glare. "Do you know how it feels to be free and independent?"

"Why are you asking me these stupid questions?" An irritated Sumire turned away. "You're not even here for me. You're here for Lucine."

"That may be true, but you're one of the only connections that I have to Lucine right now. You're one of the only ones that I trust to uphold your end of the bargain in stopping her. So, if you're mentally fatigued..." Maven stood up and raised his voice. "Then you won't be able to stop her. It's as clear as day. Your father-"

"Shut up," Sumire muttered, sensing rage enveloping through her fingertips. Any more additional thoughts about her father made her seethe with anger to the point of explosion. Her mind was being pushed to the absolute limit, and any poke or prod would set it aflame.

"Deep down, you're running away like a scared little girl when you know what to do. You just don't have the strength to do it. How are you supposed to save Lucine when you can't even save yourself-"

"I said, shut up!" Sumire roared, turning around with her fist primed for a jab. She expected to land it on Maven's jaw, but she never expected him to seize it firmly. Maven caught her fist directly, grasping it tightly as his lips pressed together. Sumire gasped as her heart nearly stopped.

Maven pushed Sumire's fist along with her entire body against the dirt walls. Sumire's back pressed against tough gravel as he closed the distance between them. The proximity of his sweat-glazed face came close to Sumire's stone-cold bitter cheeks with the utmost disappointment and anger inside him. "No." His confident princely voice echoed inside Sumire's ears as she stood still. "Not until you admit it."

Despite hearing his request, Sumire fixated her attention on Maven's jade-pooled eyes. His aviator goggles shrouded their extravagant sheen, which could only be seen if one was up close to his face. Sumire inhaled a single loud breath that Maven heard as her eyes met with his. After a single blink of her teary eyes, Sumire looked away with her slanted eyebrows, stressed to speak any further. "Okay." She muttered underneath her breath.

"Hey, you two okay?" August's concerned voice came to defuse the situation.

Maven sighed and released Sumire's fist before treading to the opposite side of the cavern. Sumire remained still, lifeless as if a ghost had sucked her soul out. August approached her with concerned eyes. "What happened?" He asked.

"Nothing." Sumire ignored, moving away from August immediately. She laid back down where she slept before and clutched both of her arms tightly. If she fell asleep now, she knew she would have nightmares about her father.

Everything Maven said was true, she thought. "I'm only human," She whispered gently to herself as she shut her eyes. "I... I wanna go home..." She said, thinking about her mother's warm embrace.

Throughout the night, Sumire's slept soundly without a single negative vision caused by Genesis's blight. She was met with a holy light that bathed her figure in warmth, treasuring her like she was a golden medallion. She was young again, standing in front of her home in Asahikawa with her cute backpack strapped around her shoulders. Her mother was the source of the golden aura, and her smile rained pleasure beyond belief.

"You're home," Sumire's mother said, drying a rack of freshly washed clothes in the afternoon sun. She smiled with a brimming light in her eyes, inviting Sumire with her sound expression. "Did you have a good day?"

"Mom..." Sumire whispered, approaching her with her stubby little body as a child. "I didn't," She confessed. "I was waiting for you, mama."

Sumire's mother squeezed the water out of cloth and rag, placing it on a drying rack outside their Japanese-styled home. "You didn't need to wait for me, Sumire," She said. "I am always here."

"I..." Sumire dropped her backpack to the yellow-green grass beneath her school shoes. "I know..." She cried, leaping into her mother's arms. Her mother's sweet-scented perfume and sweater's texture tingled her senses to make Sumire feel the comfort of her own home. She brushed her cheek against her mother's shoulder as she cried uncontrollable tears of joy. "Mom, I..."

"Sumire's home," A familiar voice caught her off guard. Its uplifting and clear tone was completely unexpected.

"Oh, darling!" Sumire's mother greeted her husband as he came out of the house. "Sumire, your father's here!"

"Huh?" Sumire whispered, gazing at her father standing straight near the doorway of her home. He stood up tall and straight in contrast to his constant bended-back nature after his addiction to alcohol. His neatly trimmed beard and tidy hair exuded sophisticatedness and maturity. And for once, his smile presented a surprisingly focused love for his family that Sumire had never seen before.

He approached the two of them and kneeled down to give Sumire a souvenir; a shining blue topaz crystal that resembled the Glacial Crystal. "Since you've been such a good girl, I brought you this," Her father's rehabilitated voice couldn't compare to his usual raspy smoke-filled breathy voice. "I heard you needed it with all the running around you've been doing."

"That's our Sumire," Her mother chuckled, rubbing Sumire's head with her palm. "Always adventuring. Isn't she so brave?"

"She is," Her father complimented, smiling down at Sumire with gleaming eyes. "I had always hoped that one day, you would come back and become a part of our family again. You're so busy nowadays."

"Dad...?" Sumire whispered.

"Oh, darling," Sumire's mother called to him. "Could you go back inside and check on the stew? It should be ready very soon."

"Ah, sounds good," Her father said. "I can't wait to have it!"

Sumire and her mother watched as her father moved back into the house. The dream of having such a beautiful family made Sumire fumble her emotions and thoughts. She clenched onto the Glacial Crystal tightly as she continued to embrace her mother.

"I've been trying to save you," She admitted. "But how can I? I've been trying-"

"Shh." Her mother whispered, caressing her back.

"But I-"

"Shh..." Her mother repeated. "I know. And look at you. You're giving your life and time for a group of lost souls looking for peace. You were dealt a bad hand, and despite that... you're hanging on. You're a true hero, Sumire, and I am so proud of you!"

Sumire was uneasy, swerving her head slightly to the side. "But I'm... I'm doing it for you, mom," She said. "I'm doing it because... I know I have to be strong to see you so I can help you."

"Are you really sure about that?" Sumire's mom laughed, shaking her palm in her hair to mess it up. "You worry so much about me, do you know that? You worry so much that you think about what I would have done before you thought about yourself. You depend on me so much that you've forgotten who you really are."

"That's not true!" Sumire said. "I think for myself!"

Sumire's mother gave her a side-eye glare, tucking in her chin calling her reply into question. "Oh, really?" She joked. "When was the last time you had a boyfriend? Or the last time you cleaned your bicycle?"

"It's a motorcycle, mom..." Sumire corrected.

"Or the last time that you didn't think about your brother or your friends?" Sumire's mother continued. "You have always been thinking about them before yourself. Isn't it getting a little exhausting?"

Sumire held nothing back. "Yeah..." She said. "It is."

"See? You finally admit it. You couldn't have admitted that much to that boy?"

"That boy?" Sumire thought about Maven. "Why would I admit something like that to a stranger like him?"

"That stranger cares more about you than you yourself." She said with a smirk on her face.

"I-" Sumire spoke no further, avoiding eye contact with her mother. She blushed in embarrassment.

"Am I right or wrong?" Her mother asked.

"You're... right," Sumire mumbled. "But I just... I don't know what to do. Without you in mind, I have nothing besides my friends and family. If I just drop them-"

"I'm not asking you to drop them, Sumire," Her mother interrupted. "Live your life freely. Seek enjoyment and a purpose that makes you willing to move on. Why do you think your father and I are so happy together?"

"You're lying!" Sumire yelled, thinking about her father's abuse. "Someone like him doesn't deserve our love! He was never happy from the start all because of-"

"All because of what, dear? Do you know?"

"I-" Sumire looked around, thinking about what exactly had caused her father to become an abusive mess. She recalled the deepest memories that mattered to her when she was a child, but she found nothing. Or so she thought. There was one particular memory that she had purposefully repressed to the point of extinction. She knew that once she had brought it up, nothing would ever be the same ever again. "I don't know." She lied.

"No, I think you do know," Her mother replied. "You're just too afraid to say it."

Sumire exhaled a single breath, hearing it falter rapidly as her hands and feet tingled in waking agony. She clenched her teeth as her mouth turned sour. "Why do I... why do I have to think about this now!?" She yelled, slapping her mother's hand away from her shoulder. "It happened, so what!? Why can't he just forget about it?!"

"Have you forgotten about it?"

"No, okay? I haven't!" Sumire cried, placing her hands on her head attempting to cope with the mental trauma. "You don't understand! All of these responsibilities are being forced on me like I'm the only one who's supposed to deal with it! And if you even think that mentioning my brother..."

"You're not ready, Sumire," Her mother said, calming her down with two gentle presses of her palms against her crying cheeks. "You need to fight for yourself first before you deal with the bigger things in your life. But now... admit to yourself that the truth is there, and it can be fixed. Your father... needs time."

"That's no excuse for what he did to us!" Sumire cried.

"Isn't that the truth..." Ryo's sudden voice startled Sumire, forcing her to turn around. He shoved Sumire aside by yanking on her ponytail. A hidden dagger shined through the sun's rays, nearly blinding Sumire's eyes. The edge swiftly sliced through Sumire's mother's throat.

"No!" Sumire's father cried, lashing out of the house with his fists.

Sumire whimpered and curled into a fetal position, hearing the deaths of both of her family at the hands of her brother. Dark clouds formed above the dream-like atmosphere, blotting out the sun and the flower petals forming around Sumire's paradise. Her child-like body transformed back into her adult form, and she could hear a low-curdling growl like a beast whose appetite has yet to be fully satiated.

Sumire opened her eyes, revealing a grotesquely hairy beast holding a massive silver dagger with a fetus symbol etched onto its crossguard. Its malnourished stomach was thin with a vertebrae that failed to support its upper body. Its face was bandaged with towels and cloth that made its snout and dark eyes impossible to see through. It slowly turned its head to face Sumire's anxiously beating heart.

"I am the only one..." The beast muttered underneath its growl. "No one... shall replace me!" It howled like a wolf, screeching as Sumire covered her ears.

She leaped back and pressed against her chest to activate her nanosuit. Discharging her energy blade, she cried out in tears as she slashed the beast. Her blade passed through like fog, dissipating as if she struck nothing. Darkness formed around her proximity, leaving nothing but a blanket of smoke surrounding her as she searched for her target.

"I am the truth!" The beast's echoing voice cried out. "I am real! All of the lies that you've soaked in are nothing shy of the piece. If I was here now, you would be one and everything!"

"No..." Sumire whispered. "No!"

Gravestones spouted underneath Sumire's feet, forcing her to leap back in surprise. It surrounded her like impassable terrain.

"You were once great. If you stopped searching for something to replace, then you would still have a life of your own. He... he is an anomaly!" The voice cried out.

The beast leaped on the gravestones behind Sumire, pouncing against her with the giant silver dagger in hand. Sumire and the beast battled each other, but no matter what happened, Sumire could not bring herself to land a single blow. The beast struck her down on the ground with its paw, driving its dagger into Sumire's stomach.

But as soon as its cutting edge pierced through Sumire, it vanished in a blanket of fog. Sumire kicked herself up and saw nothing once again. Her nanosuit disintegrated into ash. An invisible pressure constantly piled up against her chest, weighing herself down as if gravity was completely altered.

"You'll be alone... until you admit it."

She could not admit to herself that Ryo was not the only one.