°STAND°

I SAT THERE trying to make my hair look less wild, hoping that I would look less flushed and more put together. Forgetting how an angry mean lady was sitting behind the wheel,I looked up to see miss crabgrass glaring at me.

"Sheesh woman" I murmured under my breath.

"Uhh please could you give me a minute?" I grinned sheepishly.

"Could you get down from the bus?"

"I'll take that as a no" I got up and came down from the bus feeling a little more composed I started to make my way into Westchester high school.

"Oh shit" I suddenly realized I forgot my bag in the bus.

I ran as fast as I could oh well so much for looking composed. But the bus was already gone.

"Nooooo" I almost cried, just then the bell rang. I made my way to class feeling down and empty.

I sat at the back of the class so the teacher wouldn't notice I didn't have any writing materials.

"Hey" my bestie waved at me from the back of the class.

"Hi" I said numbly

"Why so glum?" Alex asked with his brows wrinkling in concern.

I turned to look at my bestie with bright brown eyes searching for answers,black soft looking hair, tiny pale lips.

"Casey? Are you even listening?" His face was set in a blank expression now.

"Oh yeah I'm- it's nothing I'm good" I fake grinned.

"Okay...." He looked at me suspiciously.

Alex was my bestie,my only friend actually. We had been friends since kindergarten, we were little kids i saw him with an ice cream and I couldn't stop staring,he came over and asked why I was looking at him,I asked him what he was holding,he said ice cream,I told him I had never tasted that before he said nothing else but just looked at me with big brown eyes,gave me his ice cream and walked away since then we've been really good friends.

Why he chose to be my friend I do not know I mean I wouldn't even want to be friends with myself and I'm me!

Things changed a bit since we got into highschool he's been more.....I don't know the right words well he's different, he's more quiet and reserved he wasn't from a wealthy family either, he was average but these days he'd wear clothes that looked so weak and worn out I wonder what's going on sometimes.

"Alex could I ask you something?"

"Yeah sure Casey" he moved in his seat

He already looked uncomfortable and I hadn't even asked him anything yet

"Hmm never mind it's nothing really, forget it"

"Okayy..." You've been acting weird,well more than usual you're always weird.

"Hey! What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing nothing" he tried to stifle a laugh and keep a straight face.

"Alex,do you have something to tell the class?" Mr Mark asked him with an expectant brow raised.

"No no sir"

It was then I realized we were having math, wow math first thing on a Monday how pleasant! I never really liked math,it wasn't my thing I was more of the artsy type.

I slumped down in my seat and got lost in thought till Alex tapped me on my shoulder.

"What?!" I asked exasperatedly.

"It's roll call and it's your turn to answer, we're having an open math test weren't you listening?"

"Casseopia cartez?" Mr Mark glared at me.

"He's called you for the third time now" Alex whispered.

"Oh....yes sir"

"Come to the board please and show the class how to solve this equation, if you're correct you get an A but if you're wrong, he chuckled evily,you get an F, it's simple right".

"Oh no no no" I whispered to myself

I wasn't dull I just needed extra tutoring and I'm sure I would be better at math but mom can't afford that so I have to improve on my own.

I went to the board doodled stuff,solved it to my best ability and smiled sheepishly at Mr mark.

"Hmm" he hummed, studying my work on the board.

"You're-you're correct?"he asked almost himself in disbelief

"I am?Yayy,wooo" I did my happy dance forgetting I was in front of the class.

Everyone laughed and I felt heat in my cheeks. The rest of the day went by like a breeze I borrowed a notebook from Alex to take down necessary notes, getting an A in my math test really made me feel good about myself it made me feel smarter,I wonder why.

The bell rang signalling that school was closed I made my way into the halls and there she was, the cousin of the devil..... Molly

"Excuse you,are you blind?" Molly asked batting her fake eye lashes at me and sweeping her long pretty blonde hair off her shoulders.

"As you can see little miss shitty,I've got two eyes working perfectly well in my head or maybe you're the blind one" I shot back.

"Move out of my way your cheap lip gloss is totally clashing with my skin tone,I don't want people seeing you around me".

"Oh please" I became self-conscious."how does that even make sense?"

Just then Tasha whispered something to Molly and in that moment i knew it was going to be pure evil.

"Omg where did you get those flats from? The dump eww they've got holes, now move out of my way,you can't stand where I stand; I mean just look at me and then take a look at you" and with that she sashayed away Swaying her hips as Tasha and Natalie followed closely behind like mice.

I looked down at my torn flats and I saw a tear drop, realizing it was mine I quickly wiped my face with my sleeve. Molly had on a cute short skirt, pink lip gloss black flats that looked ten times better than mine with a white top that really complimented her blue eyes.

I padded my way to the bathroom, washed my face and stared at my reflection. Molly had pretty blonde hair,blue eyes but I had brown long curls which was waist length. My green eyes had dark circles around them, my lips were full but chapped probably the fake lipgloss and my face was flushed.

"I should really be getting home now, it's so far" I said to myself.

I looked down at my shoes again. "Molly was right,I shouldn't stand where she stands"

I mean just look at me, I'm so thin but my backside still looks so fat in my clothes,I look weird but Molly looks so perfect in her skirt...sigh

I wish my chest wasn't so full, then my shirts would last longer and look better.

I got outside and scanned the area for the school bus when I found it,I  retrieved my school bag and made my way home.

••••

"Hey Mom" I groaned as I padded the creaky floors to my room.

"Hey sweet cheeks"I heard her say as I shot the door.

"Casey, come have dinner" she yelled

"I'm not hungry" I yelled back.

We did a lot of yelling in our house.

I'm glad Mia went to college and left behind this room, we had three rooms mom had her's to herself Ryan and Zoe shared one and Mia and I shared a room. And sadly a bathroom and a small kitchen.

Oh Dear God, I really want things to be better please make everything beautiful again please. I prayed earnestly.