A Pitiful Life and God's Wheel

Settling into my new home of utter darkness, I felt...oddly content.

No more pressure to please parents who despised me. No more need to put up with jeers and sneers of my so-called peers. My so-called equals.

So, without these pressures and just in the quiet dark...I was at ease for the first time in my arduous life. I was without company, yes. But being without company also meant I was without the doubtful and disdainful eyes most would give me when they saw me and my...oddities.

I was born with a weak body. A weak skeleton. Weak muscles. A weak immune system. Exercise was a myth to me...playing outside with other children was a myth to me. All I knew was books and later on, TV series, movies and other forms of entertainment. Which, in the end, was probably what spurred me onto continue living.

And we're not just talking 'slightly weaker than average' or 'easier to hurt or exhaust' either. We're talking, my legs were so weak I could barely support myself. I couldn't use crutches because my arms and upper body were so weak as well.

I was bound to an electric wheelchair. I could move my body, sure, but it would exhaust me extremely quickly.

Nonetheless, I guess you could call me a dreamer. I dreamed of a time where my weakened body would no long be a thing people looked down on...but rather a thing people could admire me for. 'Frederic got as far as he had today, even with his weakened body' or 'What determination he has to not be stopped by something that effects his life so much' - that sort of thing. Though I wanted this sort of attention and that's why I became what I did in the future...I also did it because I genuinely wanted to help people like myself.

I wouldn't call myself a saint or the most morally upright person to ever exist, but I can say with the upmost confidence that I was a good person for the most part.

My moral compass aside, I was so starved for appreciation because of my lackluster parents.

My father was a Major. God's gift to the American Military, as some of his superiors referred to him at the dinner table. He was tall, muscular, handsome, tough, cool--everything I wasn't.

He was disappointed simply by my existence. By the fact I couldn't be a football quarterback like he was and even more disappointed by the fact I couldn't follow in his footsteps by joining the military. I'm sure he thought my mother had cheated on him to birth a defective person like me. His disdain of me was so clear that it was easy to figure things like that out.

My mother, however...was worse. While my father disdained me, at least he still paid attention to me. My mother was just indifferent to me. Apathetic. And while my father had never uttered the words I'm sure he felt, my mother reminded me on a daily basis that she hated me.

If I remember correctly...'The fact you come from my body makes me feel disgusted'. She said that to a 7-year-old me while drunk on martinis.

The only person who cared for me was my brother. He defended me from the bullies. He stood up for me against mother and father. He helped me when I inevitably got sit. Which is why I feel like such a bad person.

Because I envied him. I felt raw, burning envy whenever I saw him.

The golden boy. Girls who would look at me with disgust would flock to him. The approval and love I so desperately wanted from our parents - the love I was barred from -, was so easily cast aside by my brother even when our parents gave it freely and willingly. He was strong, athletic, good-looking...he was the opposite of me.

That envy is why when I turned 16, I began to block him out of my life despite how much I hated myself for it. No matter his brotherly love for me...he was a constant reminder that I was never the son my parents wanted.

If my weakened body was my disadvantage, then my mind was my biggest advantage. Which is why, after going to a specialized college, I put my head down into the books even deeper. And within a year I graduated as valedictorian. I was hailed as a genius among geniuses. Though the disdain was still there.

So I worked harder.

I got degrees in Biology, Biomedical Science, Chemistry, Biochemistry, Anatomy and Physiology, Cell Biology--I absorbed more knowledge than some would have in their entire lifetimes. Because if I wanted to be acknowledged...I needed to be so blindingly bright that people wouldn't be able to see my downsides.

I was seen as a once in a century genius. A biological mastermind. It all started when I began to cure diseases. Then I began to develop more effective treatments for cancer - I even began to get close to a genuine cure for early stage intestinal cancer.

But my pride and joy was the products I'd made that could enhance the body's performance.

I had military contracts and commercial contracts coming out my ears...but most of all, I was steps away from achieving my dream of ridding myself of my biggest detriment.

My weak body.

It didn't bother me that the body enhancers would only put me on the same level as an average male even with the maximum dose. It didn't bother me that my brother would be like Captain America if he took the same dose. All that mattered was the fact that I'd be normal.

No wheelchair. Not even crutches. I'd be able to walk. Go to a bar. Flirt with a bunch of women without worrying about them turning their noses up at me...I was on the cusp of my dream.

Then I discovered a dream shattering side effect to my enhancers.

So drunk on my dreams, my eyes too focused on the future...that I'd failed to realize the biggest problem. They could work for a normal person. A normal person's body and heart could withstand them. Normal people were who he'd done the test trials on, the people he'd based the framework of the drug around.

But I wasn't a normal person. The strain which a normal person's heart could withstand...would make my heart pack in.

It was the biggest type of blunder: A blunder that effected no one but myself.

Yet it didn't stop me. I began developing new things to try and remedy this. But before any of it could come to fruition...I died.

Ironically enough, it was my heart that gave up before I did. If I'd have known then what I know now...I would've just pumped myself with the enhancers in the first place. If it didn't work, I'd have died just like I had now. But on the slim chance it did work, I'd have been cured of my weakness. Hindsight truly is the cruelest thing sentience has given humans. It gives us regrets that even follow us to the beyond, it would seem.

Or whatever this abyssal place is.

Looking around, I saw nothing. It was like closing your eyes at the darkest hour of night - and then multiplied by ten. It was so dark and lacking of light that I couldn't even see my hand when I held it up to my face. Which was surprising in and off itself as I actually had a hand despite being dead.

Which begged the question - was I really dead? I'm not a religious guy but I've always kept an open mind. Which is why I'm not freaking the hell out right now. I was always ready for there to either be nothing after death or for there to be something waiting for me. If it was this dark abyss, then I was okay with it.

But a curious mind in life seems to not have left me even with my apparent death. So, as I looked around for any sort of abnormality, I kept thinking about where I could be.

From the lack of light and Angels, I'd assume this isn't Heaven. And the lack of torture means I'm not in Hell. So, Purgatory? This would fit what I thought Purgatory would be like. This seems the perfect place to sit around and think/repent on your sins for a few eons, after all.

However, a flash of light proved me wrong. I covered my closed eyes with my arms on reflex...yet I found it didn't work. Opening my eyes and blinking a few times revealed why it didn't work:

I was somewhat transparent. I could see the outline of my body from the way the light refracted around it...and my arms seemed to be made from some sort of blue-ish vapor that was thick like fog.

...Is this a soul? My soul?

I curiously looked at this new body, a new thirst for understanding becoming apparent when I thought about the existence of a soul. If anything, knowing the existence of this and the fact I seemed to be in some sort of afterlife opened up a whole knew field of science and study. The science of a soul, what it was made of, how it worked, why it was needed--so many questioned flooded through my head and for the first time in a long time, I had no idea and no answers whatsoever.

Even though I had died shortly before this, this new information was easily enough to placate me. After all, maybe improvements to the soul could bring improvements to the body - if I could ever have a body again, that is.

Such thoughts were put on hold, however, when my eyes(?) adjusted and could finally make out what was the origin of the blinding flash.

It was about ten or so meters from me and looked to be about five meters in diameter.

Getting up off the black floor, I curiously wandered over to the wheel and saw a sign next to it when I got close enough.

[God's Wheel]

...God, huh?

Squatting down next to the sign, I looked at it for a while before suddenly feeling uncomfortable for a few seconds and then the feeling passed. I felt somewhat scared, honestly. For those few seconds I genuinely felt like an ant being looked at by a human.

Deciding that looking at the sign had caused that feeling, I decided to look somewhere else and turned my gaze to the wheel.

Do they want me to spin it or something?

I thought the obvious and despite not being able to read or understand any of the writing on the wheel, I tentatively put my hand on the side of the giant wheel. I wanted to wiggle it a little to see if it even moved or if I could even move it but to my surprise, the small downward force I put on it sent the wheel spinning at speeds so fast I could only see a blur.

A few seconds passed with no end in sight but I was somewhat shocked to see the wheel stop spinning in a physics-defying way. It just stopped. No slowing down or gradual decline in speed. Just stopped like inertia and velocity meant nothing to it.

Maybe the laws of physics is a bit different up here? Wherever 'here' is.

But what caught my eye and made me move on from such a thought was that I could understand what the wheel said. Or more specifically, I could understand what the wheel had landed on.

"Ultimate Super Soldier Bundle...? What the hell is that?" I wondered allowed as I looked at the writing which was followed by parenthesis which said, "SPARTAN II, III & IV Maximum Augmentations*...plus Super Soldier Serum? What? Is this supposed to make sense to me or some...thing..." I stopped my monologue of complaining as I looked at the wheel before looking around and then back to the sign.

(*A/N - You may wonder what I mean by 'maximum' augmentations. Well, it's pretty simple, actually. Basically, the augmentations for SPARTAN III's and IV's could've actually been better than the augmentations for SPARTAN II's because of the better technology at the time of their making. Yet the UNSC were obsessed with having less deaths and settled for below average augmentations which resulted in the more lackluster SPARTAN III's and IV's when compared with the legendary SPARTAN II's. But, if the augmentations for the III's and IV's were implemented to their fullest, regardless of the mortality rate, it could've resulted in SPARTANs equal or even better than the SPARTAN II's. Which means a SPARTAN made of the absolute best augmentations from all the generations would be the ultimate killing machine. Put that together with the Super Soldier Serum and you have probably one of the best super soldiers ever.)

I was frozen.

In my curiosity about where I was, the changes to my body, the apparent discovery of the human soul...I'd forgotten what this place reminded me of. Or rather I'd personally pushed it aside thinking it too childish a thought.

This place...it was like those places in a fanfic where the MC gets his powers before reincarnating. But that can't be what's happening, right? I mean...it just doesn't seem...

I was at a loss and I just continued to look at the wheel.

Yet beyond this loss was a faint glimmer of excitement. A faint glimmer born from the hopes and dreams of the dreamer I knew I still was, deep down. If this was a reincarnation along with the whole package of gaining powers before going...wouldn't that mean I get a second chance? A chance where I can be something...more?

Slowly yet with building determination, I lifted my hand to the wheel a second time. I only did this before besides the wheel, a sign had appeared which read, [Powers gained so far: Ultimate Super Soldier Bundle. Two spins left.]

And I wanted those next two spins.

Even if this was a trick by some sort of Devil, I'd experienced what it was like to hesitate and lose everything anyway.

I wouldn't allow that to happen again. Ever.

The next two spins were over before I knew it and I was left with one last spin which would decide where I ended up. The sign that detailed my powers had two new additions to it, [Powers gained so far: Ultimate Super Soldier Bundle, Ghoul Physiology (Rosario+Vampire)* and All Martial Knowledge of Kenganverse*.]

(A/N - You may be thinking 'Why these two things?' Well, my dear reader, that's because a Ghoul who somehow got the best of the best in terms of SPARTAN augmentations and was completely compatible with them would be an absolute monster. Now, imagine that SPARTAN/Ghoul being enhanced by the Super Soldier Serum to be the best version it could naturally be and you've got an insanely powerful creature. Not OP or the top of the food chain. But it's a good starting point.)

I didn't know how effective these things would be, and I couldn't help but wonder how I could be a Ghoul while also having SPARTAN augmentations, seeing as the augmentations were made by humans, for humans.

Yet when I thought about it...whatever omnipotent being had brought me here could probably make it work. If they couldn't, they wouldn't be very omnipotent, would they?

Even then I was still curious about whether the SPARTAN augmentations would become a complete part of my physiology or not. It'd be pretty nice if I was a purely biological SPARTAN. Would save me the trouble of going through metal detectors*.

(A/N - It's completely merged with his biology. Like this, they're technically not augmentations but instead apart of his body, naturally. His genetics are gonna be pretty wacky for this to be possible, if you couldn't already tell lol.)

With a steady hand, I spun the wheel one last time.

Just like the prior times, it spun uninterrupted for a few seconds before coming to a sudden stop. When I saw what it had landed on, I took in a sudden breath before sighing in relief, "The Marvel Cinematic Universe...God, and here I was thinking I'd get sent to some place like Dragonball or Dark Souls. Thank god that didn't happen," I chuckled to myself before I felt my vision going black, "Oh? That was pre..tty...quickkkk..." and with my last words said, I blacked out.

Onto better times, I guess.