Worship of a Deity

I found her in an old thrift shop. The type of place you don't find unless you're purposefully searching for it. It was hidden from the world, tucked away in a little corner at the end of a busy street. The entire block was shrouded in darkness, the only illumination being the stoplights changing from green to yellow, then red. The lights were on inside and I could barely make out silhouettes leaving before merging with the darkness. I stood on the pitch-black sidewalk on the other side of the street, facing the store. Any normal person would have had an instinctual feeling to leave. But for me, it was an invitation, I could feel it beckoning me over.

I hastily crossed the road and stopped at the entrance. Peering through the window, I could see people browsing random dust covered junk. One guy was testing out the sturdiness of an old chair. A couple in back were browsing old coverless paperback books while another pair was sifting through clothes that were clearly unfashionable. The door opened suddenly, spewing out an old man with a lamp in hand, shocking me from my trance. Then I saw her, just barely out of view. My first inclination was to hold the door open so I can stare a little longer. It's funny, thinking back, it was no different than a hunter sizing up its' prey. I slowly prowled inside the thrift shop, the sound of bells and chimes alerting me to the door's closing.

It smelled of dirt and musk. My lungs took a moment to readjust to the lack of clean oxygen. I instantly coughed and rubbed my eyes as my body acclimated to the new environment. All eyes trailed in my direction as I grunted and moaned at the unhealthy air, except hers. Her eyes remained fixated on something in front of her, appearing to analyze every tiny detail of the trinkets laid out on the shelves. I paced around, going up and down each isle; my eyes focused on her as I nervously pretended to be interested in the store's offerings. She was a tiny thing, adorned in crafty jewelry and feather earrings. She wore a dress with the most mesmerizing patterns of shapes and colors. I could almost hear her call to me, very feint, like a whisper to a sleeping body. I approached her and she seemed to gaze at me as a smirk formed on her face.

I took her home that night. She insisted on moonshine as her drink of choice; potent, unflavored moonshine. I thought that was unique, her classy demeanor seemed more fitting for fine wine. She never spoke much but I could always feel her strong presence. The mutual attraction, the spiritual connection. I don't know what love feels like, but this had to be it. Although I did most of the talking, she listened intently to my every word, never breaking her stare. I shared my dreams, goals, desires, and pain with her. I cried in front of her and she sat there without passing judgement. She accepted me for who I am, and I felt whole for the first time in my life. As the room grew silent, I leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling, feeling the slight weightlessness from the alcohol we'd consumed. She broke the silence and said,

"I can give you everything you want. Heal your past wounds. Love you forever."

It was a hymn of angels. Her voice so serene it brought tears to my eyes. Goosebumps flooded my skin and shivers ran down my spine. Still staring at the ceiling, I asked her how, to which she responded,

"Just worship me."

She chose to remain home while I worked. She only wanted to leave after midnight, and I happily obliged. She wanted to see the world, to witness how it has changed, to marvel in its' beauty and wonder. She recently arrived from another country before I found her, according to the shop's owner. Her previous "owner" didn't love her the way I did. She was forgotten and left to rot away with the times. But I was hers and she was mine. I would do anything to keep the bond between us. I could already see the changes in my life. My new job offered five times more than my original salary I earned. Past wounds began to heal, and painful memories slowly faded away from the recesses of my mind. I had a powerful presence that either instilled fear or love in people. I also had the love of a beautiful woman. I was becoming everything I wasn't. All that I couldn't achieved flooded into my life seamlessly.

I set up a shrine in dedication to her love and all she has given me, as she asked. It was decorated with ornaments made of real gold, an oversized golden bowl, prayer beads, candles, special incense, and a life-sized figure created in her image. It all costed a fortune, but she was worth every penny. She continued speaking to me in whispers throughout the day, like a voice inside my head. She appeared in my dreams with messages and demands. I made love to her there and it was like nothing I had ever experienced. She had very simple requests at first, demanding sweet treats and moonshine every night. She requested that I bless them and place the gifts upon the shrine. Every morning before leaving, I had to say my goodbyes in the form of a prayer that she repeated to me for weeks before I had it memorized. Every morning, I had to discard the empty bottles of moonshine and candy wrappers. Her shrine was to remain pristine, spotless, and free of clutter.

One night, I was awoken by her sudden scream of anger and terror. This high temper was not her usual calm and confident demeanor. The voice in my head kept repeating the word *thirsty* over and over. I ran downstairs and poured her favorite drink into the bowl before it fell onto the floor suddenly. A loud bellowing *NO!!* filled my head and caused my ears to ring. I sat in silence on my knees and listened. She wanted me. She was thirsty for me. I need to quench her thirst. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and sliced my palm deeper than intended, partially filling her shiny bowl before replacing it upon the shrine.

I continued this for a few weeks before she started demanding more. She threatened to take my new life away if I didn't fulfill her requests. Me? Of all people, me? The man she loved. The man who gave her everything. She would never harm me, would she? She must have noticed my exhaustion because my dreams were now filled with images of worship and sacrifice. She still loves me! I began wrangling up stray animals in the neighborhood and stored them in a shed outside. Her thirst was quenched at first but soon turned to hunger. The worst part was disposing of half-eaten animal carcasses. The smell became grotesque and I couldn't remove it from my clothes. She was satiated for some time. My dreams were now filled with endless peace, intimacy, and wholesomeness. Do you understand that she made me feel like a god amongst men? I was an all powerful being now with her by my side, so you must understand why I did what I had to. The stronger I felt, the more abundance I received, the more she craved. Yes, she was satiated for some time, but that time has passed. Dreams of human sacrifice were now prevalent. She reminded me every day with her serene voice of what I must do.

My love, my prize, my world. She meant everything to me, and I would do anything to keep her at my side, anything.