Attention and Feelings

As our examination draws close,we become so occupied with our studies that we don't have time for jokes and plays. We have to write four external examinations and one internal examination. Two of the externals(JAMB and Post-UTME) are entrance exams to college. The remaining two(WAEC and NECO) are necessities before one is considered worthy of entrance into a university. The internal one is our high school's mock which is used to prepare the students for the externals.

We wrote our mock at the end of the previous term so we've got four more exams to go,the next one being JAMB. According to the exam's scheduling, we'd go to other towns to write it. I get a text and I unlock my phone to check it. It's from JAMB. The text says that I'm to go to any cyber cafe and get a printout that indicates the center,date and time I'll be writing my exam which will be computer based. The printout is also a requirement for one to be able to write the examination. I drop the phone and resume my preparation for school. I would go to the center with my friends after school today. They probably got texts too.

I pack my books,turn off my phone and put it into the backpack before putting in my books. I'd need it to call my mum and inform her about my whereabouts in the evening. I sling the bag on my shoulder and move out of the house. I get to school and notice that I'm early for the second time in a term. I wonder if I should consider getting a wristwatch. I shake off the idea from my head. I simply can't stand the pressure.

I get to my class and look around. I'm shocked to see only ten students in the class.

"I've really improved. I even came before Emma today. It's probably still 7:30am. But, what do this people gain from coming to school as early as seven? They're just sitting around, reading or meditating, whatever putting one's head on the locker means. None of my friends are here. What am I going to be doing till 8:15,when classes start? I already read my head out yesterday night,I don't feel like looking at any book right now. I also can't bring out my phone, it'll be seized. Oh God! Think Amy! I should probably walk around the school compound...that might help" I think as I unpack my books into my locker. I finish, pick my almost empty bag and walk out of the class. I head to the old science laboratory since I'm blank on where to go to. I get there and find the door closed. I push it open and enter inside and look around...

"Oh sh*t! How the heck is he here? Since when did he start...or has he always been punctual? He never comes to class till few minutes before the first period. Does he always come here whenever he comes to school? What's he staring at? Has he seen me? I should probably go out before he does. I don't want to face his taunts this mor..."

"If you're gonna keep standing there just to stare at my cute face,you could at least greet me or something" Michael says.

"How did I expect the devil not to see me? Is it even possible? He could literally see me with his back turned to me. That is expected of a demon".

"I wasn't staring at you,dumbass. I was just looking around... You are not cute by the way, so stop deceiving yourself" I say and walk towards him. I sit on a stool close to his. I notice that his songbook is on the table right in front of us. He was probably thinking of a song or title or something else.

"What are you doing here?" He asks.

"I came to school and found out that I'm early today,none of my friends are in school. I was bored so I decided to walk around".

"You decided to walk around? This place doesn't look like 'around the school' to me. Are you sure you didn't just want to see me?"

"You're so full of yourself and it's annoying! I didn't know where else to go. I just saw my legs bringing me here because I come here to think sometimes. Why would I want to see you? I didn't even know that you would be here! I thought you always came late to school".

"I'm not as proud as you think I am,you know. I'm just curious to know why you're here. How is it that you come here sometimes and I've not seen you around before? This place is like my haven of solace. I come here every time I'm free to think and write and that includes every morning".

"I really don't know why. It's probably because I mostly come here in the afternoon during our lesson break. So,I take it that you were thinking about a song. Am I right or right?" I ask and chuckle.

"You're very wrong. I wasn't thinking about a song. I was actually thinking about you".

"You're joking right? Me? What about me,huh?"

"Well, I thought about your personality, beauty and stupidity".

"What!? Are you tired of living? I could strangle you right now! You're the one who's stupid! Infact, you're the stupidest person I've met in my entire life!" I scream at him.

"Maybe. If I'm stupid that stupid, then what will be said about you? And why is it that you only picked one thing out of the three that I mentioned? It just shows how stupid you are" he says and I shoot him lasers with my eyes.

"Should I just kill him already? He's so evil and...cute. Shut up! He's actually right. You're becoming stupid,Amy".

"Right now,I truly feel like stabbing you! How the hell do your friends put up with you, Michael Allen? Wait,why is your surname English? And what did you think about my personality?" I ask.

"You ask too many questions,Amy. You're lucky that I'm always patient with you alone so I'm willing to answer. Firstly, I'm bearing my father's first name,hence the English surname. My dad's not from here though. About your personality, I was wondering how you're a mixture of calm and fiery. It feels like there's two or three of you sometimes. I'm supposed to be scared of it but I'm not. I actually want to always know your reaction to everything around you. I guess that's why I enjoy teasing you".

"I never thought anyone apart from my friends actually paid attention to me. My switching has to do with my mood. Like,it all depends on what's going on in my head. It changes a lot,even when I don't want it to".

"Mood swings huh? I get that too, sometimes. About paying attention, I'm always watching out for you,no jokes. I don't know why though".

"I get mood swings all the time. Like, I've got issues with it...I'm dealing with it sha. I find it difficult to believe that you actually pay attention to me. I used to see you as someone who doesn't have time for anyone but himself and his friends".

"Aren't you my friend? Or...what are we? By the way,I don't think there's anyone who doesn't pay attention to you in our class. You're simply too beautiful for that. I take it you don't wanna talk about your mood swings,do you?"

"Nah. It'll be fine. Beautiful,you say? Isn't this the same Michael who said that I look like a wild cat? Or am I dreaming? I can manage to call you my friend" I say and smirk.

"Manage? I don't blame you sha. I'm the one that asked na. You don't get to forget things easily. You and I know that I was joking about the whole 'wild cat' thing".

"I don't know sh*t. But I'll let it slide. I'm a very curious person,you said it yourself. So,can I ask you about something?"

"Sure"

"Okay. Um, where's your dad from? He lives here right?"

"Well, he's South African but my mum's from this state. I've lived here in Nigeria with her since I was three. I was born in my dad's country. He passed away at about the time we moved here, fourteen years ago".

"Oh my God! I'm really sorry about that. I had no idea. I guess you're the only child then. Your mum's really strong fa".

"Yeah,she is. She's my rock. I can't even remember my dad's face anymore. I only have a memory of him coming home with a new toy for me. That's all I can remember. It feels like I didn't even know him" he says and I smile sadly. I reach out and place my hand on his shoulder and he fidgets a little. He calms down after a few seconds.

"Michael,God knows why he left. We can't question the Almighty's decision. I just know everything will turn out fine in the end, that's one hope I'm holding onto. You just have to settle down and make your dad proud..." The bell that indicates the start of lessons cuts me short. I look at Michael and he nods. We both get up and pack our things and head back to class without saying another word to each other.

Time flies without a care and soon,it's closing time. We don't have extra classes today as a result of our fast approaching entrance exam,JAMB. I already found out from my friends that they also got the text. I pack my books into my backpack and wait for Cassie to finish with her notes.

"Aren't you through? You can finish the note at home na. Let's go and do that printout stuff now that it's early. If we go there in the evening,the cyber cafe will be filled up and we might not be able to do it today" I say to Cass.

"Alright,fine. Let me pack my stuffs. Go to the back and ask Emma and the rest if they're ready to go" Cass says.

"No problem" I say and walk towards the back of the class. I get to Emma's chair which is just after Alexis's. They're both ready. I turn and move towards the left-hand side of the class(towards the back too),where Kate and Liz seat. I find Liz copying her biology note. I inform her about our decision to go on time and she packs up her things. I get to Kate's locker and help her arrange her stuff.

We all walk out towards the school gate after getting snacks for our stay in the cafe. We board a bus since the cafe we planned to use is far from our school. We get there and climb the stairs to the cafe. The building is small just like most regular stores in the state,Jeki. We enter the cafe and see some of our classmates already present. Thankfully,Liz knows the cafe attendant. He collects our data and checks our examination time and location for us. He prints the info and gives each of us our printout.

"When and where's your exam taking place,Amy? Alexis asks me.

"Oh no..." I say as I look at my printout.

"What?" They all ask together.

"It's on the 10th of March,in Ankani by 9am. I hate that place. I've not been to that town but with the stories I've heard so far,I hate it" I say crestfallen. My friends laugh. Those witches!

"We all hate ankani. Mine is also there,on the 9th which is a Friday,by 3pm" Alexis says.

"Me too o. This mumu JAMB people had the guts to post me to Ankani. They don't have joy at all. I'm sha happy that I'm not alone" Emma says and grins.

"At least you're writing at the same time with Alexis. Mine is the next day. You guys will have to wait for me fa. I can't just travel back alone. Where's yours holding Liz? I ask.

"In Amoni,on the 10th too,by 10am. Ankani is just after Amoni. We might travel together if you want" she says.

"If I want? I'd be the happiest human being on Earth. Thanks babe. I was already worried about going alone. Those towns are scary". I say and hug Liz.

"You people are just making noise. What about me that's going to remain in this stupid Kida?" Cassie asks and we all laugh.

"When's your exam Cass?" Emma asks her.

"It's on the 15th o...by 9am. The week after you guys will write yours,I'll still be reading for that nonsense. I'm just vexed" she says and hisses.

"Don't worry Cass. At least you don't have to travel and stress yourself like the rest of us. You also have more time to read and do well" I say to make her feel better.

"You're right Sha. What about you Kate? You've been quiet. Where's your exam scheduled?" Cass asks Kate.

"It's in Amoni o,on the 9th. I'll have to travel a day before since it's in the morning. I don't even know anybody there. I'm wondering where I'll stay" Kate laments.

"It's true o. I don't know a single soul in Ankani. Where will I stay? My examination center is in the college of education there" I say.

"Don't worry,Amara. I might know someone there. She schools in that COE. I'll give you her number and tell her you're coming over for your exam" Liz says and I jump to hug her again.

"You're just my saving grace today. I really can't thank you enough" I say after the fierce hug that almost toppled her over.

"What about me?" Kate asks pretending to be close to tears.

"You'll stay with my brother's friends. They all school in the state Uni that contains your center. Are you happy now? With your big head" Emma says to Kate.

"Aww! You're a darling! That's why I love so much. Thank you jor" Kate replies.

"No o. Keep your love to yourself. I'm not a lesbi please" Emma jokes and we all laugh. I bring out my phone while the girls continue to gist. I turn it on and move towards the end of the Cafe's corridor. I dial a number and wait while it rings. It vibrates as the receiver picks it.

"Hello" I say

"Hello...What's up? Have you gotten your printout?" Michael asks.

"Yeah. I just got it. I'm still at the cafe sha. What about you?"

"I've collected mine. I'm already heading home with my friends. When's your exam? Are you writing it here in Kida?"

"No o. It's in Ankani,on the 10th of this month. I've got just eight days to prepare. When's yours?"

"On the 9th,by 4pm. My center is the same as yours,in Ankani".

"Oh...that's cool fa. Will you stay back after your exam?" I ask him.

"I wish I can. I'd like to see you after our exam but I'm coming with Daniel and the rest. We're using Joseph's family car so we have to come back the same day we're going for the exam".

"You people are big boys na. You've got a ride there and back. Some of us have to deal with public transportation problems and all".

"You'll be fine Mimi. Don't worry too much. Just read well for your examination. We'll talk when you come back from Ankani. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Alright,I will. Take care too" I say and smile even though I know that he can't see me.

"Bye" he says and cuts the call.

"We've been talking on phone a lot. Why's he always postponing whatever it is he wants to talk about? Why does he want to talk after our exams and what does he want to talk about? Why the hell does he care if I'm worried or not? And...why did I smile almost throughout the call? No! Don't even go there Amy! You don't have feelings for anybody. You don't even like males. But...maybe Michael's an exception. He's so... Dang!" I think as I head back into the cafe to meet my friends. We pick up our backpacks and head home after walking for a while. I'm battling with my thoughts throughout the journey home.