Chapter 6

I don't know how to react, of course, I want to help him, I want him to be okay, but when I realized my feelings towards him, I know that this one's also difficult for me, but I also don't want him to feel that way, I want him to be happy, genuinely happy even if it can hurt me, so yes, I said yes.

"Yes, I am very willing to help you, Bryce but please, promise me one thing, please help yourself get over her also, you can't move on if you just let me do the things, besides, it's not me, it's you," I told him and then I smiled genuinely.

When I said that, I saw how his face lighted up. This time, he's staring right in front of my eyes, and with that, I confirmed to myself that yes, I like him, I really do, I don't know if this thing's still considered as 'crush' because every time he's hurt, I can also feel it.

I know, helping him move on won't do any better to me, I'll just let myself suffer while doing this but I guess, this is what I want.

We just stayed silent until I finished my glass of milk and I also made sure that he's feeling well before we went to our own rooms we just said goodnight to each other.

The next day, when I looked at my phone, I realized that I woke up late because it was already 10 pm but I'm still the first one to wake up here, of course, it's understandable, they're all drunk. I went to my bathroom to get the stocks there for hangovers, yes it was there because it was just like a kit. I just put some medicines on the side table so that when they wake up, they will just grab them, of course, they should eat first so I finally went down to cook some breakfast.

Before I decided to cook, I realized that I should go and take a bath first so instead of going down, I went to my bathroom and start taking a bath. When I'm finished doing my rituals, I just went to my walk-in closet and grabbed some denim shorts and a white bodysuit, when I finished dressing up, I finally went down.

I just cooked fried rice, sunny side up eggs, slices of bacon, chopped hotdogs with ketchup and hams, the fried rice has a seasoning and it doesn't have an onion and garlic since I'm not really a fan of garlic and onions in rice. After I prepared breakfast, I also prepared the dining table as well as the morning drinks for all of us, after everything, I went back to my room to wake them up and as expected, they're heads are all hurting I just laughed at them.

When I'm finished waking the girls up, I decided to go to the guest room to wake the guys up, luckily, they were all up when I knocked so I just told them to go down because we're gonna eat. Cooking was one of my hobbies before, I'm always bored so cooking is like my way to waste some time.

I know, the helpers are the ones responsible to cook and everything but it's just fine with me because, it doesn't matter, like at all, anyway, after a few seconds, I got tired of waiting so I sat down in the chair, after how many minutes, they all finally arrived here in the dining table, they were also actually shy at first because they forgot that they should wake up early and do a lot of things because they're not on their own houses.

After how many minutes of waiting everyone finally arrived then Zander led us in prayer because he's the most religious here. We just ate happily, later on, when I look at Bryce I saw how happy he is, I guess he had a good sleep well that's good for him.

When everyone finished eating, we just talked about a lot of things including me cooking breakfast for them. At first, they don't want to believe me because they think that I am a rich kid so cooking is not my thing which I totally disagreed with.

To be honest, everyone thinks of me as a rich kid and a spoiled brat but actually, number one I am not a spoiled brat, and number two I'm not the one who is rich here it is my family and I cannot consider myself as someone rich not unless I can afford all the things that I want using my own money.

Anyway, after we ate Danica and zander said that they would wash the dishes because they felt guilty for not waking up early but I told them that the helpers will do that and it's just ok but they still insist.

It's now already 11:00 and we just finished eating so we call that our brunch, the next thing that we're going to do is about academics, of course, we agreed to have a study time after our bonding so that we could catch up and we could study while we're having fun.

I just prepared all the things that I'm gonna be using and then after that, I went to our library, yes we do have a library here in our house and that's because of my dad, he's the type of person who cannot live without books and with that, we call him a bookworm. Though he's not staying here in our house, that library was still specially made for him so every time he's here, that's the place that he would visit no matter what happens.

Anyway I just sat down here in the library to browse my notes and then while I was browsing my notes I realize that we don't have an assignment reporting recitation etc. so I just decided to have an advanced reading so that I will be aware of what lesson we will be tackling next

The first subject that I would be studying is math, to be honest, I really like math but I'm not that good at it because I just love the idea of me struggling to solve math problems but I guess that's pretty fun because I learned a lot in that way

Anyway, I felt like we all have a different world here in our library and I think that's because we are in different courses so it's understandable. For me, I find this set-up cute because our friendship lets us see the good things and the bad things and with that, I can say that we are all discipline when it comes to phones and academics.

Time passed by and it’s now time for them to go home because it’s getting late now. I and Leah went first to my room because I helped her pack her things.

It’s almost 8 in the evening when they left my place and right after they left, I asked the help of our helpers to clean the whole house, well the situation of my house is not that worse though.

When we finished cleaning the house, I suddenly felt exhausted that’s why I decided to go to my room and do my night care routine, afterwards I just slept. The next morning, I’m not feeling well, when I went to my bathroom, that’s where I confirmed that today is the first day of my menstruation for this month so I decided not to go to school because I feel like anytime, I’ll collapse.

I messaged my best friend that I will not be able to attend the class later and I also asked her to take down notes for me since we’re in the same class in all subjects. She hasn't replied yet of course because I woke up early in the morning so I didn't wait any longer, I felt a bit hungry so I went to the kitchen and I just ate some fruits, of course, I prefer the light meal because for Pete’s sake it’s really early.

The next day, I woke up because nanny melds shivered me, she was my personal nanny. She asked me why I hadn't woken up yet and I just told her that I was in so much pain and that I would just come tomorrow to school, I would just get it back tomorrow with the recitations. Yes, I’m a grade conscious person and I don’t think there’s something wrong with that.

I was just laying down here in my bed when an unknown number texted me.

0905327**** :

Hi Zee, Bryce here, got your number from Vince, anyway, why are u absent? Is everything okay?

Oh so it's from Bryce and maybe he's a little bit concerned huh? I guess. I just replied to him.

Me :

Oh hi, Bryce, yes, everything's fine it's just that, I’m not feeling well but I’ll go to class tomorrow.

Bryce :

Okay okay, get well soon :>

I didn't reply, I just left seeing his message, after that, I texted my best friend Leah, I need to tell her about Bryce and also, of course, I will ask for the notes.

Me :

Hi Leah can you come over? I have something to tell you.

Leah :

Oh sure of course, and yes, you have some explaining to do-,-

I did not reply again, what does she mean? Did she see Bryce and me last night? Anyway, I also prevented myself from overthinking so I'll just wait for her. I just get ready for later so when I and Leah met, I won’t look pale. I just went to my bathroom and took a shower and dressed in comfy clothes, I was wearing only pajamas and an oversize t-shirt.

After how many hours of waiting, I got shocked when someone knocked on my door because it’s too noisy, at first I thought it was just our helpers but when I look at it, it was Leah, I just smiled at her and then I pointed to the bed so that she would sit down beside me.

She handed me first the papers containing notes for today and explained some shits about today's lessons, luckily I was able to understand the lessons even though I'm not really okay. After our talk about academics, she immediately changed the topic, I know it's she's curious.

“Hey, you guys, what was the leaning moment last night? you thought I didn't see that ha” she said while smirking at me, gosh I really can't hide anything from this best friend of mine, she really knows' when I do nonsense or anything. I told her what happened, as in everything. I was a little nervous about her reaction because I could not read her, she seemed disappointed in me, I don't know.

“Kaye, I'm telling you, serious question, do you like Bryce?” She asked while starring at my eyes. Gosh, she's doing it again and I didn't do anything else but nod at her, I also won't get anything if I lie to her, I will just add some fuel to the fire so I just told her the truth while it’s still early.

She immediately let out a sigh, I know it's wrong to let someone use me even though it's not really the right term for that, maybe it just goes wrong to the point that I know I like him and there is a big possibility to deepen what I feel but I chose to help him rather than understand how I feel. I don't know I also don't have regrets about it.

“Kaye, I must admit, I don't like what you did, look, he is what you are worried about, but what about yourself? Really Kaye? You really like him THAT much?” She said, scolding me a little

“I know you are really selfless and you just want us to be happy but have you ever think of yourself? Like, how are you? Don't you 'think that?' she said

"I'm sorry Leah, I just want to help, you know what, when he told me about that, he cried and I swear I was also hurt when I saw some tears on his eyes," I told her

"So you're in love?" Leah asked

I don't know what to say, I've never been in love so I don't know if I really love him, all I know is that I get hurt when he is sad and I can't see him like that, I don’t know, one day I just have a crush on him but Huh what happened? Erase, erase, I don't think so.

"Huh? Of course n-not" I said shEt why can’t I pronounce that directly?

“Okay, Kaye if that's really what you want, I cannot do anything about that but please, when you can no longer take, when you know you have already fallen, help yourself get out of drowning, huh? I don't want to hurt you because you are my best friend and I know what you are doing is wrong because the person you like would use you, I know that is not right but on the other side I know you just want to help, you're my friend, I know that you are very smart and very soft to people in need” she explained softly

I also know everything she said, I thought about it too, my decision was very selfless, I also know that my decision was wrong but I just want to really help, I want to help him get up even in exchange for that is the constant drowning of my feelings for him. But no, I really want to see him happy because he deserves it, each of us deserves to be happy and I just can't stand here looking at them without doing anything so

I'll just let it be

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<3