Chapter 2 - Chemistry

"We are not talking about this anymore Ruby", my mom yells as she walks out of my room.

"We can negotiate somethi-", I didn't get to finish my statement when she slammed the door on me. Please. The latter was more like a plea to myself.

It's been a while since I graduated from high school and I have been begging my mom to allow me to go to college. I mean, it's New Orleans. I have always dreamt of going to college here. Avery and I both. I don't know if he is still going with that idea but I heard it's really entertaining out here and that would do me some good.

Don't get me wrong but that's not the only reason why I want to go to college. I'm really good at Science, Chemistry to be specific, and I wanted to do more research concerning my condition.

Mrs. Walker made me play around with the chemicals in her lab and she made me borrow most of her books and old journals. Speaking of which, I needed to return maybe after a couple of experiments. She was basically my second mom.

I want to go to college but my mom is more concerned about my health and my medication to allow me to step outside. It's not like I'm going to drop dead when I go out. She's so overprotective it gets overbearing sometimes. I don't blame her though. Being a single mother to her only ill daughter can take its toll on you.

I need to find something to do at home but what?

I'm only good at Chemistry and since I no more have Mrs. Walker's lab, I don't know what else to do.

Or perhaps I could. No, don't think of it. It won't work, will it? I mean since mom doesn't want me out in town or going to college I could negotiate with her to turn the basement into a mini-lab for me. That would work, right?

Oh, I don't know, she's really hard to convince. I have to come up with a clever way of asking but how?

There's no harm in trying right?

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"No?!", I stare at my mom with disbelief.

"Yes, No you can't turn the basement into a lab."

"I really don't get you. You don't want me to go to college and now you don't want me to do the one thing that I love. What is your deal? What the hell do you want me to do in this bloody house? Sleep all day?", I yell out of frustration.

"You watch your language with me, young Lady. I am fed up with your ungratefulness.", the corner of her left eye starts to twitch." She's really mad. I've only seen her like this when I used to try to convince her to let me hang out with Mrs. Walker. "No means No! And that's final. Now don't bring this up again".

She really let everything out this time and I knew better than to push her off the edge. I didn't say anything and just retreated to my room defeated. I can't deal with this right now.

My anxiety starts to act up as soon as I get to my room and my breathing picks up. My heart rate accelerates and it's so loud I can hear it in my head. My hands start to shake violently and the room starts to spin. I stumble and hold unto my bedside drawer. I need my pills.

I feel tempted to call my mom but I don't want to and even if I did, I couldn't. My mouth felt dry.

This is how it ends. I'm going to die right here and right now. I don't want to die like this! Okay, maybe I'm overreacting a little bit.

That's when it happened. Everything went silent and...

That Voice...

That voice in my head. I haven't been hearing that voice ever since my mom upped my dose. Why now though? I took my pills this morning.

"Stop trying to push me away!", I hear.

I try my best to focus on my surroundings, but my vision keeps darkening, and everything is being sucked into the darkness with it. I thought you were supposed to see the light when we were dying.

"Open up to me!", the voice continues.

The voice has always been persistent and I can't contain it. It's getting darker and darker fast and I can't breathe.

I'm scared of the dark so I lay on the hard floorboard in my room and hold unto myself hoping and praying it will all be over soon.

I'm always here and you know that

I need my mom. I need Avery. He helped me back home to keep the voice at bay. This is the worse it has been. It's louder and stronger. It feels almost real like there was someone else here in the darkness with me. I hate to admit it, but I'm terrified.

What is going to happen?!