12

He was on top of me and I was reaching for the knife frantically now. I could feel him at my entrance but before he could I stabbed him with the knife that I had a hold on just seconds ago.

He groaned in pain but he didn't moved from off of me. Pulling the knife out again I stabbed him. He spat out blood into my face causing me to close my eyes to prevent blood from getting into my eyes. I opened them again to see his eyes looking into my eyes. The ones that has gave me countless nightmares, the one that has destroyed me. I stabbed him again and again until I saw the light left his eyes just like they left mine.

When I was sure he was dead I rolled him off of me. Covered in blood I got up and looked at the dead man lying on the floor. The dead man that i had killed. In that moment I didn't know what I was doing and the consequences of killing someone while looking in their eyes.

I know that his bright hazel eyes has haunted me in my sleep but I will never forget his lifeless eyes that stared down on me while I stabbed him, killed him with the knife i was using to put Mayo on my sandwich.

That was the last horrific thing that happened to me in my life and I know I could not return to who I was and I will never have a peaceful mind and a good night sleep.

The bracelet that he was holding in his hand wasn't faraway from his dead still body that was lying face down on the floor.

I left the kitchen with all the blood on me. I walked out of the front door and out in the opening. Going outside fley like the first time I have ever seen the sunlight and breath in a lungs full of fresh air. I looked back inside the house and made my first step away from the house sealing my faith. This maybe the last time I'll ever see this house or the outside world.

I walked down the street of my neighborhood. People passed abd gasped and step away in fear. People standing outside their houses run back inside to safety. I don't blame them I am covered in blood and bruises and hoping on my bad knee.

I must be a sight to be hold. I walked and I walked. I know where I am going to turn myself in. I turned around when I heard siren behind me. I stopped and waited for the police car to pick me up. I didn't waited for them to arrest me I just opened the back door and went inside.

The officers sitting in the front looked at me in surprised but didn't asked any questions and drove away. I watched the scenes pass me by until we reached the police station and they opened my door and let me out. They lead me inside the building and into a room.

I was told to sit so I did so without a word. I looked at the glass i know that they can see me through and it was the first I was seeing myself.

I was blooded and bruised. It was drying on me but I didn't care. I heard the door opened and I looked to it. I saw someone entered the room with a glass of water. I looked from the glass and to the officer. He sat down and pushed the glass of water towards me.

I looked at the glass with the water moving in it. I looked up back at the officer looking at me. I didn't wait for him to ask questions or stare at me anymore like he is trying to figure me out. I opened my mouth and talked. I confess what I did.

"I killed him. I stabbed him to death." I told the officer in front of me. He looked shocked. I don't know if it was what i said or because I was confessing my crime instead of denying it. "I stabbed him seven times and I watched as the light left his eyes and he's dead now. I didn't stop stabbing him until he was dead."

The officer looked like he was at a lost for words. "I stabbed him here first." I showed him on my body. I showed him every stab wound on my body.

"He is dead laying on his belly with blood everywhere. His hands are set in a right angle triangle with his foot spread apart. His head is looking down because he is facing hell. That's where he'll be going." I told the officer and drank my water after.

"Can I go now?" I asked putting my hands on the table for him to handcuff me and bring me to where I belong. In prison.

He got him pushed back his chair anf left the room without handcuffing me. I sat there confused wondering why he didn't handcuff me when I literally just confess to a crime that I committed.

He came back into the room minutes letter with a notepad out. I only looked at him in confusion.

"Name?" He asked after clearing his throat.

"Grace Hardie." I answered. He asked me other strings of questions like mt parents or guardians, where I live and other personal questions. I answered them all honestly.

He left with his notepad of answers. The door opened again but it was a different officer.

"Follow me." He said. I got up and followed him out of the room. He lead me to a holding cell. He opened the grill and told me to step inside. I did so and he locked it behind me. I didn't sit down. I rest my head on the cold metal and watched him leave.

The rest of the day I spent in that lock up cell until another officer came to escort me to somewhere else. He didn't lead me back to the holding cell but out of the station.

When we were at the door he read me my rights and handcuffed me anf placed me in the back of the police car. The next thing I know we stopped in front of flashing lights and shouting people.

I was given clothes anf told to take a shower. I don't know how long I stayed in that holding cell maybe days or just a night. I don't know. I was escorted into another room. To see a woman waiting there for me.

"What am I doing here?" I asked as soon as they opened the door and i stepped inside. I was told to sit and the lady introduced herself.

"Hello Ms Hardie my name is Angela Simmons and I'll be defending you on this case." She said introducing herself.

"But i don't need a lawyer. I killed the man. I stabbed my step dad to death. Why do i need a lawyer when I have already confessed to the crime." I told her. I don't think she needs to waste her time on defending me.

"You think so and everyone thinks so but I don't think so." She said with a kind smile. I didn't smile my face only stayed blank and so it began.

We went to court again and again trying to prove that I am innocent which I am not. Every time I am drove to the court and escorted in people were always there taking my picture and shouting questions at me but I only kept my head low and stayed quiet.

I saw his parents at court and other family members and they were all giving kenthe dirty stare and accusing look. They claim that he was innocent and I killed the only I got. I was just being ungrateful and killed my step father who as raised me.

Each time i went to court I would tell them that I killed my step dad without any remorse and I am a cold bloodied killer.

I was going to court today again. I was I a room with only my lawyer and she was watching me closing because I could feel her eyes on my piercing my skin.

"Grace you want to know what I think happened?" She said but it was more of a statement than o question and I didn't have no choice but to listen to what she thinks happened. "He wasn't a good man as his families say. He beats you that's how it all started until he started raping you. I know that look in your eyes. I have meant many woman with that look of no return from the empty shell the man that have left you in. I know that you feel like there is nothing left of you. Nothing left of you I'm this world hut i promise you that if you tell the whole story things will okay. You can get help and start all over without the monster but this will always be apart of your life but it's best if you confess and start over." She said looking at me. I didn't give anything away.

I was about to open my mouth to say something but the door opened and the person announced that it was time. We left the room in silence. I looked over to where my step dad family was sitting with red puffy eyes. When they saw me looking at them they gave me that look that says you're going to get what you truly deserves.

I was called up once again to recount the events of what happened that day but this time it was different. I didn't confess about killing him or how I killed him.

I started telling them about my life with him. Everyone mouths was wide opened staring wide eye at me. Looked directly over at his family members to see their reaction to my confession.

"She's a lying bitch your honor." He mother jumped up out of her seat shouting and pointed an accusingly finger at me.

"Sit down Mrs Hardie or I would have you thrown out of my court room if I hear one more outburst from you." The judge said. "Continue."

"He came home drunk that night and I waited until he was in his bedroom before I went downstairs for a glass of water. I didn't hear when he entered the kitchen and I turned around to see him standing behind me. The glass slipped out of my hand and shattered spilling the water. I apologise and tried to pick up the glasses. He backhanded me and watched me clean up the glasses after. Was going to my room when he stopped me. He was acting weird apologizing for his behaviors. I was puzzled that night and forgot to locked the door like I always did..." I paused and took in a deep breath. "I woke up to him touching me in my sleep and when I asked what he was doing in my room. He got up locked the room door snd turned on tge lights. I was so scared i didn't know what to do until he reminded me that he didn't punished me yet for breaking the glass. He told me to take off all of my clothes and when I refused he hit me. He threatened me and i had to take off my clothees because he never breaks his promises when he promise to hurt me. He he..." I could get the last part out. "When I was naked he told me to lay down on the bed but I begged him not to do it to me but he only hit me more and threw me on the bed and then he he..." It was hard saying this in front of everyone but i had to. "He took away my innocent that night and raped me." I was crying now. You could hear my sobs in the quiet court room. Someone gave me a tissue and i wiped my face and blow my nose. I said a silent thank you.

"You would always rape me as a punishment when I disobey him. It was my birthday and I had a good relationship with my English teacher recently but not anymore. She stopped me in the school hallway and gave me the bracelet for my birthday present." I told the court room remembering the day that i killed him.

"When I got home I placed it on my dresser and went to the bathroom. When I was finished I went downstairs to make something to eat. He came into the kitchen with that same bracelet asking who have it to me. I told him the truth that it was from my English teacher. But he didn't believed me. He thought I had a boyfriend but I didn't. He called me a liar said i was seeing someone else and i was going my body to them. He said I was his and that he is going to teach me a lesson that I will never forget. He was going to rape me and lock me down the basement again and starve me like he does sometimes. I was begging him not to do it. He grabbed ahold of my hair and started to unbutton my blouse. His hands where all over me and he was kissing me. I still had the knife in my hand that i was using and i used it. I stabbed him. He lets go my hair and off of me and pulled the knife out of his belly and drop it to the floor." By now everyone in here was silent. I was thw only one talking. There was no whispering or murmuring.

"He backhanded and then pulled me into his body." It was hard talking about all that I've went through. It felt like i was swallowing a grater everytime i swallowed.