48

I don't think this is a good idea. To be out in public. The last time that I was, pictures were taken of me with Derek and later was in magazines, tabloids, and on those celebrity shows.

That was two weeks ago. Is that long enough for the people to forget about those pictures? I hope so. I don't want to be walking in the park suddenly I'm jumped by people with cameras and they're a plethora of questions. I don't think I can handle that, it will only cause me to become overwhelmed.

I looked out the window again my fear resurfacing, the world is going to swallow me whole. I had to swallow my fear down staying in this house every day is not good for my health and I promise myself and Derek that I'll be out of that door not only to go to an appointment or to pick up groceries. I'm going outside solely to get some fresh hair.