Chapter 8: Strong

I watched, as everything seemed to slow down around me. My brother jumped down from the fence, on to the ground, controlling himself with his tail, just as Nut had told us to do. I then flinched at the same time as well though, as I expected a bone to snap on his body.

But I was wrong... He landed perfectly fine, and nothing bad had happened to him in fact. I blinked a few times, and I wondered if Nut had been perhaps right. I did not like Nut as much as Pike and Gift did, but I still could not deny of the fact that he seemed to know a lot more than we did.

I was not sure if he knew as much as Pintclaw and Brokenfoot did though, which was why I was so confused as to why they seemed to flock to him, but the did not seem to care all that much about our grandparents. I then shook my head at the same time as well though.

I knew why, in fact. He had more than once brought us some mice, or a squirrel from his trips out in the so called wild. The food was amazing, and we had only been told stories about it from Pintclaw and Brokenfoot, but Nut had in fact managed to catch some, for us to taste.

He told us his stories as well, and it seemed that both Gift, and Pike were a lot more in tuned with his stories, than they were with our grand parents. Every time it seemed that they told us a story, Pike and Gift always managed to get in some sort of fight.

I shook my head at the same time as well though, as I knew that was not where my thoughts needed to be at, at the exact moment. I looked around me, as I saw that both Nut, and Pike were staring up at me, as I was still on top of the fence, unlike the rest of them.

At this rate, our mother would see me at any moment now. I did not want to get in trouble, nor did I want to be locked up in some room for several days at a time, which she seemed to do to me fairly often, even when I was not the one that caused the trouble.

At times, I wondered why our mother did not seem to love me, and if she did, than she sure did have a strange way of showing it to me. She was always a lot nicer, and a lot more loving to Pike and Gift, than she was to me. In fact, I think that is why Pike was so close to me as well.

He knew that Gift always made fun of me, for being the smallest kit in our litter. She always seemed to bully me, a lot more when Pike was not around as well too, because she knew that Pike would have my back, a lot of those times.

Not just that, I think he knew something about my mother at the same time as well. I was not sure what it was, but I do have a vivid memory of something that she had been saying to Pintclaw, and Brokenfoot, behind my back in the other room from me. I closed my eyes, as I remembered the memory like it was a dream.

It was really dark this night, and it was raining, and storming. The lightning flashed sparked up a bunch of light in the room, but it was the thunder that came shortly after that, that seemed to scare me the most out of all of that in fact.

I looked over at my brother, and my sister that were right beside me, on the little nest made by the twolegs. It was quite comfortable as well in fact, but as I had been told by Brokenfoot, and Pintclaw, it was nothing like the Moss that they slept on in the clans.

I shook my head at the same time as well though, as I knew that I hated to think about all of that. It was sad memories for me, now that they had passed away from some sort of sickness, just a couple of days ago now.

Our mother, as I could tell, did not seem to be the same now. She seemed to not care much for her parents, when I had been with her, but I could tell that she had changed a lot, since the passing of them. It did not seem to be a change for the better either.

I closed my eyes, as I did my best to fall asleep. I managed to get more and more tired, which was a bit strange to me, as I had not been just a few moments ago. Just as I managed to fall into a bit of a relaxed state of mind, all of the sudden, I heard another load roar from outside, from another crash of lightning.

I jumped up right away, as this one had been closer than before. I looked over at my brother and my sister, as I hoped that I had not woken them up, at the same time as well. It was mainly my sister that I had been so worried about, as whenever you woke her up, she seemed to be very angry.

As I looked at them, I saw that they were both sound asleep however. I nodded to myself, thankful that I had not woken them up. The thunder was loud, but it would not have been enough to wake them up. It would have been me, that would have done that.

I tried my best to close my eyes, and fall asleep at the same time again, but for some reason, it would not let me do so. It was not the storm that was the reason that was keeping me up. It was a different reason in fact, and I was not even quite sure what the reasoning was in the first place.

There had just been some sort of strange sense of stress, and depression that had taken over me, over the last couple of days. I knew what it was in fact though. It had not hurt me, when it had first happened. That was, the death of Pintclaw and Brokenfoot.

When the twolegs had buried them in the yard, I was not crying, much un like my mother, and my brother and my sister were. It was a bit strange to me, at the same time as well, as I was the one that was closer to them, than the rest of they were.

Over the last couple of days though, it then had begun to hurt me, as I had just stopped doing a lot of things, that I normally did on a daily routine. I had nearly stopped eating and drinking water all together. It was not healthy for me at all, and I knew if my grand parents were still here, and they knew that was going to happen, than they would not have wanted that out of me.

It was almost as if they were in the room with me right now. It managed to relax me quite a bit, but it still did not get me tired enough for me to fall asleep. I looked around at the room, as I hoped that maybe they were with the Starclan cats that they told me about.

I shook my head at the same time as well, as I had to listen to my mother, when she told me that none of those things that they told me about were in fact real. It hurt me to have that kind of aspect on it, but it was a bit of a sad reality as well.

If the Starclan cats did in fact exist, than it did not make sense that they would just let the clans fall apart in front of them like that. If they had all sorts of power, than why would they want that to happen? That would just end their point of existence.

I shook my head, as I tried to shake out all of those thoughts, as I then just stared at the wall that was in front of me. It was what I needed I suppose, as all of my thoughts then seemed to erase out of my mind. I closed my eyes to try to sleep one more time.

I then heard a voice seem to be talking to me a bit quietly at the same time as well. I opened my eyes quickly, as I then blinked a few times, as I looked around, to see where the voice had come from in the first place. I was a bit excited at the same time too, as it sounded a lot like the voice of Brokenfoot.

I heard it begin to speak one more time, but its voice seemed to only speak a few words, that were too quiet for me to hear what she had said. I did in fact manage to catch where I had heard the voice come from however. I lifted myself up from the nest that I had been at, with my brother and my sister.

I then began to head over to where I had heard the voice come from in the first place. I then stopped at the same time as well, as I was right at the door way to the room that I was in. I blinked a few times, as I just stared at the door that was in front of me.

I looked at it for just a few moments, as I knew that there was no way for me to get by it at the same time too. I looked at it a bit sadly for just a few moments, as I then dipped my head to the ground at the same time as well. I knew that there was no way that I was ever going to get to hear the soft voice of Brokenfoot ever again.

It was a bit sad for me to think about, but at the same time, I knew that my mother was right, when she had told me, that at some point, I had to face the cold hard reality of this world. It scared me to think about as well, as I knew that my mother was right.

She was being hard on me, but she was doing it, to make sure that I was safe, and I was ready for the real world. I knew that she was right as well... I knew that the wild was not was fun as her parents seemed to make it out to be.

I shook my head once again, as I then began to slowly walk away from the door that I had heard the voices come from, on the other side. Just as I was going over to the nest, to lay with my brother and sister, to try to get at least a little bit of rest before tomorrow, I then heard it again.

This time I did not turn my head over to it, to try to listen to the voice, but I instead kept on walking over to the nest. That was, until I heard the voice get a lot louder than it had been before. I turned my head back to it now, as I realized the voice had just been my mother.

I had forgotten how similar the voice was between my mother, and her own. I was going to listen to what it was that she seemed to be saying, to Nut in the other room I would assume, but knowing that the voice had just been my mothers, seemed to lower my spirits even more than before.

I kept on walking to the nest, until I actually managed to hear what it was that my mother had been saying to Nut in the other room. I squinted my eyes for some odd reason, as I listened to what it was that she had to say to him, even though I knew that I should not be spying on them.

"She is a disappointment... I wanted 3 healthy, and strong kits... Not like that one..." She said to Nut. I sat there for just a few moments, as I was a bit confused as to what it was that she had been talking about in the first place.

I sat there for just a bit, as it seemed to be a bit silent for just a little while. The silence was a good thing, or maybe a bit of a bad thing now that I came to think about it. I realized what it was that my mother had been talking about, just about right away.

I lowered my head down to the ground, as it pained me to hear to her speak about me like that. A sudden burst of thunder just seemed to make things all the worse at the same time as well. Nothing seemed to be going good for me at all over the last couple of days.

First I had lost my grand parents, and now my mother was talking bad about me behind my back to her friend. It only seemed to make things feel even worse than before now. I heard Nut begin to speak back to her, as I expected for him to agree with her.

"You didn't get it though... So what? You should still let her know that she is loved... You have one very strong cat! What does it matter anyways? It's like you said... The clans don't exist..." He said to her. Hearing that come out of his mouth seemed to change my mind right away.

It actually put a little bit of a smile on my face. Maybe I was wrong, and maybe my brother and my sister were the ones that were in fact correct for once. I seemed to have a sudden new found respect for him, as it made sense as to why my brother and sister regarded him so highly.

I lifted my head up high at the same time, though I knew that no one would be able to see it at the exact moment. I stared at the door, as it was once again silent in the room, as though my mother had no sort of response to what he had just said to her.

I was happy though, for him sticking up for me like that. I knew that Pike did it from time to time as well, but I knew that he would never talk back to our mother like Nut just had. It was quite brave of him as well. After a few more moments, I then heard my mother start to speak back to him.

"I suppose you are right... I just still wish though..." She said back to Nut. I put my head back down to the ground again, as I was a bit sad. I knew it was true at the same time as well, but it hurt me just to actually hear her admit to it.

I sat there in the cold room for some time, as I thought about what she had said. If she did not want me, than maybe I should just walk out the cat flap one of these days, and just run away. Maybe that would make every one all the more happy.

It would at least make Gift happy, I was quite sure of. I closed my eyes, as I then kept on walking back over to my nest, to try to get some rest once again. Just as I got up close to it, I once again heard the voice of Nut, as he began to speak back to my mother.

"Nifty... Do not worry... I have seen some thing from her... Limp... She is strong..."