Love Or Stop
I am lying in my bed with my eyes open widely, i can't believe that man kissed me. I can't believe i didn't pushed him, i can't believe my heart fluttered and i can't believe i liked it. I am not Yue Xing, i do not like that King. But why do i like everything about it, it feels surreal i don't know why but my heart is pounding very loudly while my eyes is widely open while staring at the ceiling.
Now i am sure that i really am reincrnated in this place, in this body, and in this life. I kinda like it because there is no pressure when i am here, but i also want to hate this. A man appeared in front of me out of nowhere saying he's my husband, he's a King, he's a true lover and he just kissed me.
--
"General Peng i want you to assasinate the Princess." i said without any hesitation as i am now sitting in the side of my bed while reading a book from JS. He is a very mysterious writter, but he's books are the best selling im reading his current work 'Clouds Of Life'.
"Your Majesty, i thought you're now okay with the Princess why suddenly saying that you want to kill her now?" General Peng Xiaobao said, he's the Commander General, he's also my friend. "Im not okay with her, im not okay with her here. We've already know that she's a spy that the King of Ling sent we don't need her here."
"Why did you kiss her, Your Majesty? You knew she likes you why make her fall for you even deeper?" he asked that made me closed the book that i am reading and i put it beside me im wearing an inner hanfu now while he is still wearing his usual General suit.
"She doesn't like me, she is different. We can no longer trust and thus we must eliminate her now or she might suceed on what she is planning. And i also don't know the reason why i kissed her... it just happened." i said and sighed out of frustration to myself, i also didn't want to kiss her in front of my people yet i can't stop myself! Her eyes, her nose, her lips, her hair, everything about her just-- doesn't make sense a all.
"You are making her your rebound, Your Majesty. That Princess looks like the deceased Queen Feng Yiren, when you see her, you see the Queen and you want ti fight her to know if she had the same fighting spirit like the Queen." Xiaobao said that made me stared at him with my usual face.
I don't know how to react, i don't know how to deny and i also don't how to accept. He is right, he is definetly right but i keep forcing myself that Yue Xing and Yiren is different persons yet i can't stop myself.
I turned my head and looked at the wall of my room where a big painting was hanged in it, its a painting of my wife, my Queen, and my love Feng Yiren the same eyes, the same features. I need to love but i also need to stop. She is dead, i can't bring her back anymore!
"Just do what i said, kill the Princess you can do it tonight or tommorow but i want it faster. I need to rest now, please close the door if you stepped out in the Muzen Palace."
I lie down on my bed while the book is still beside me. "Yes, Your Majesty. I'll accept your commands." Xiaobao said and he kneeled his one knees and he bowed to me while holding his sword in front of him but a second later he stood up and go out of my room. After he got out of my room i clenched my fist and touched my forehead whose hurting because of the things i am now recalling.
'You will love her, Your Majesty.' the air blew to my ears that made me sit again in my bed, even the air is against on me. I will not love the Princess, and i promi-- i'll do it, i'll not love the Princess.
--
I woke up not feeling well because obviously last i can't sleep, i just sleep for an hour! This is driving me crazy i am in a huge trouble, my mother isn't herebut the problem is i am the Princess of a Tribe who cannot dare to love a man or even touched by a man, i am a huge sinner.
I am really a disappointment, no wonder why my mother hated me for the my whole life because she expect to be this kind of woman. I was fond by the King and i cannot deny it, i am no longer living in that place but the rules of our Tribe is all in my heart, i've loved everything about our Tribe and i memorized all of the rules and one of that rules is a Princess shouldn't be fond of a man.
Should i love and throw everything in my past away to live in this life? Or should i stop and just ran away because this is not a place that i should be in.