The Deadliest Concubine (1)

Nong'Er's tears is falling in her cheeks while she is helping we wearing the golden armor that pairs up with the legendary hymn sword and my hair is also tied up, im not smiling, or anything its just plain blank im going to a war and not a party.

"Im just going to a war and im not dying, why are you crying?" i asked and arranged my hair when she finished helping me wearing the armor. "My Lady, you are not just going to any war. The Generals will not helping in this battle, they are not prepared that's why His Majesty is going hard time dealing with this. But you alone going to a war that is not possible! This is your first war, and you are alone."

Nong'Er said while ger tears are still falling i jush deeply sighed. "Nong'Er no one will die in this battle, this my first battle you might be right but that woudn't stop me from going to that war. This war is my chance to know my fate, me myself doesn't know how to cope with this fate but i am just trusting everything and everyone. Im going to the path that i choose, this war is not the war that hits me the most, this is nothing compare to what i've fight for. This is only killing, but the war where i fought in my whole life, its not about the toughest sword it's about love that i cannot get, and all my life i failed. I failed in every piece me, nothing can point out a flaws in me, but they don't see that deep inside my flaws is thousands and i can just stand because of trust. I want to live without the flaws that i have, this war can guarantee my decision wether to stay or leave."

I looked at the mirror after i said those words, i looked at my reflection. Im wearing a woman's armor with a red in my back where the symbol of Wang Dynasty is found in it. I look like a woman warrior, as i should be. Demons, i fought those and i wonder if humans can subdue Demons strenght i know the answer but im still wondering wether there really is a person who can withstand me and i hope that fight will leave a great impression on me.

"Your Majesty." i heard Nong'Er said that made me looked at the door of my room and i really found the King wearing his face without expressions. I also sense Nong'Er who is bowing really deep as a respect to the King. "Leave us alone."

The thundering voice of the King echoed everywhere in the room that made Nong'Er flinched while i remain not bothered. Nong'Er stood up and bowed to me before stepping outside of my room. After the room became clodly silent the King stepped forward in front of me, with his cold expression.

"Aren't you really backing out in this nonsense thing, Concubine Yue Xing?" he asked and i just tilted my head with amusement because of his question, its as if he is really caring and he really want to stop me from going into that war. "Your Majesty, i am doing this for the country's prosperity without me stepping into that war who will? Who will stood up and protect the citizens?"

"I will. I am the King, this country's protector. I am everyone's protector now, if i can't protect my wife does that mean i can't also protect our people? I am the Demon King in wars, i will go in your place." he said coldly that made my brows furrowed. "You will go? Are you overestimating yourself, Jin Shuang? You wont step in that war because you are also thinking, there is a probability that the enemies are in the Capital so you are having a trouble of thinking. Because once you stepped out together with all of the soldiers, the enemies surrounding in the Capital will move, and all of the citizens will die. Would you allow that, Jin Shuang? Will you go to that war just to protect me? Think about it, im only one while the citizens is thousands in here. Will you just think about me and abandon your people?"

--

She just asked me those questions that made me also doubt, i don't know how to think. I am really in trouble, should i just believe in her just this once? Should i trouble this frail body of her? I am worse, i don't know what to think anymore.

Her eyes s initially looking at me and minutes from now i might agree because she is ruining my mind and soul. When she will step into that war, all i think is her. Am i a bad King for looking after this woman? Am i a bad husband because when i saw her my heart melts just for her? Am i a bad King if i say i like this woman?

"Why would you go to a war without any experience?"

"You eat, Your Majesty. Can i ask you why you eat?" she asked with her serious eyes, i know her answer and i bit my lips inside for her to not notice it.

"I eat because im hungry. All people eat because that's the cycle of life, you don't eat, you die." i said and stared at her she walked until her bed where the hymn sword resides, she lifted it up and she turned to look at me while holding the sword in both of her hands.

"Exactly, Jin Shuang. You eat because your hungry, i fought because its my duty. Its also the cycle of my life, i will fight in this war not because i like wars but because its my duty. My fate will be decided in this war, winning or losing i don't have a choice but to accept it. Life is a cycle, but your battling with fate. And when you give up and not continue walking into your fate, obviously you'll die. That's what i believe, now please Jin Shuang. Protect the people that im protecting, im going to war to also protect those people so im also asking you to protect them. Im just going to a war and i'll never die."

She said and walked into my side and she pat my shoulder and started walking to the door to go outside but she stopped when i started talking.

"Will you not say goodbye to me?" i asked because i know once she stepped out of this room she'll go out and step into a horse then go out of the palace and walk outside of the Dynasty, to travel and go to a war.

I heard her chuckled while im still turning my back against her and she is also the same. "I'll not say goodbye to you, Your Majesty. I will be back." she said and continued walking and i heard the door opened and it also closed.

And because of that i frustratedly closed my eyes while both of my fist is clenched. "Again, i failed to protect those i like." i whispered to myself.