Chapter 1

It's hard to remember what exactly happened all those years ago, all I see when I close my eyes is red. The colour is so vivid I'm my mind that it practically consumes everything, my birth mother once bought me a ribbon the night before Christmas when I was about 5 years old to young to really understand to know that she did it so my world could be beautiful even when hers was not that satin ribbon was the prettiest thing I'd ever owned and it always felt so smooth against my skin, you know that's what blood looks like in my mind, a satin ribbon. So delicate and smooth. That's what I told the police officers that night, that mommy was sleeping on red satin ribbons. They say when your to young to understand things you out grow the memories, "they" should fuck the hell write off because that's a load of bullshit. Deep down, in the recesses of my subconscious, that little girl lives within. She is the person I will never be again, sweet, naive and innocent. I know better than her, I know secrets that she could never handle, ones I would have never told a soul if I hadn't been up shits creek with my life in the hand of a cartel boss. But I digress, that story begins a few year after my mother's suicide. Yeah, my mother hated my father so much she took her own life. It has been so long that I haven't spoken about that night, the night my father beat my mother to near death when he'd come home from work drunk of his ass and swearing like a drunken Sailor. The irony of that night is that I lost them both, when I was old enough to understand thing I looked for the chief investigator who I'd met that night and though it was almost fifteen years later I'd managed to track him down and found out a few truths. Officer Miller was still with the Michigan state police and so finding him didn't prove difficult but hearing the full story of my parents death damn near broke my psych. The day my momma bought me that treasured, now tattered ribbon, she also bought an unlicensed gun from the local MC. The Reapers were a well known motorcycle gang that traveled all over the state and during Christmas they'd make there way to my town, everyone knew that you could get anything from them for the right price. So yeah my mother decided that leaving my dad came in two options, death by his hands or her own. My father on the other hand was killed by a drunk driver leaving the pub he frequented, laughable really for her to try and escape him only for him to follow her. That's the begin of my sordid tale the day I became and ophan, the day I lost my world and found little Blue Black...