Chapter 27: Dead Wrongs
We've all had our bad days, but what if those bad days helped us realize...LIFE FUCKING SUCKS!!!! Oh well at least we all have this book, so put aside your thoughts and feelings and enjore the next chapter of 1000 Ways To Dieeeeee
Date: October 19, 2007
Location: Beaumont, TX
A bratty high school cheerleader captain named Pamela gets jealous when a new girl named Amber joins the squad. Amber becomes the new flyer and the star quarterback's new girlfriend after he dumps Pamela for her. During the homecoming game, while Amber is atop the cheer squad's heel stretch formation, Pamela intentionally lets Amber fall. The other cheerleaders come to her aid, as the spoiled cheerleader captain gloats at Amber. Lady Karma finally makes her move as Pamela gets in the way of the banner, and is pummeled/stomped repeatedly by the football team as they run through it, their cleats puncturing her heart and breaking her ribs, killing her, and sending her to hell.
Way To Die #179; Pam Caked!
Date: June 6, 2006
Location: Hancock, IA
Con artists Caleb and Jacob pose as preachers who travel by car with a box of unread giveaway bibles in order to disguise their true intentions; having sex with females they meet.
One day, the duostop at a farm to "save another soul" and meet Emmy Lou, the farmer's granddaughter. While the two take turns in having sex with her, the farmer's wife overhears the noise and chases the two scammers with a shotgun. Caleb and Jacob escape and find shelter inside a grain silo, planning to flee as the farmer's wife leaves. However, they are barely able to see anything in the darkness, causing Caleb to use his lighter for light. However, as he activates it, the flame ignites all the grain particles in the air around them, causing the silo around them to explode with much power as three sticks of dynamite, killing them both, which results in severed and blackened bodies.
As Emmy Lou is devastated by their deaths, the farmer's wife gloats at their death saying, "A waste of good corn."
Way To Die #124: Blackened
Date: May 10, 2007
Location: Washington, D.C.
At a sushi chef school, only 2 out of 25 students have graduated. As a custom, Tanaka, the head sushi chef shares shots of sake with his students to celebrate their graduation. After he passes out drunk, the students decide to put a Japanese eel down his pants as payback for Tanaka's abusive punishments (one of which was threatening to shove an eel up their rectums). The eel slithers through his rectum and eats its way out, causing massive bleeding and eventually, exsanguination.
Way To Die #779: Eel Effects
May 1, 2006
Location: Las Angeles, CA
A drug dealer named Rush does business at a rave, but gets bored when business slows down. Rush then breaks the cardinal rule of drug dealing ("Never get high on your own supply") and takes a few hits of ecstasy. In his high, he injects himself with fluid from a glow stick and dies of phenol poisoning and kidney failure.
Way To Die #207: Glow Job
Date: September 17, 2017
Location: Reno, NV
Jolene, who was divorced, attempts to seduce a construction crew, while the foreman unsuccessfully tries to get his colleagues back to work. While Jolene removes her tank top and asks the workers to put suntan lotion on her, the guy using the concrete saw gets distracted and loses control, launching the blade, right into Jolene's yummy tummy, splitting Jolene in half, and she dies, sending her to heaven as the construction crew reacted to her death in horror.
Way To Die #557: Seduction & Bisection
Date: April 19, 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Jonathan Miller was an all-around porn addict. He loved everything about it. For more than 20 years he had been collecting it. Eventually, Jonathan ran out of room in his basement, so he emptied out his wife's vanity. That was the last straw, so his long-suffering wife had left him. But that didn't even sway Jonathan's porn addiction, but it would sway his health. For days he would stay up & watch hour after hour of triple-X gold. Jonathan wouldn't do this with his wife around, but now that she's not, he was out of control. He watched porn for so long that he neglected his nutrition. Jonathan's need for food eventually overcame his want for porn. But by then, he had been confused and disorientated. The porn that he had collected were stored in boxes, crates, & touts, and he stacked them like bricks up to the sealing. This eventually became a maze for the disoriented Jonathan. He started crawling on his hands & knees, desperately trying to escape the triple-X labyrinth. But, then his fortress of porn came crumbling down right on top of Jonathan. The boxes pinned him to the ground and he wasn't strong enough to crawl out. He died of dehydration, and never saw the end of his porn maze.
Way To Die #746: X X EX-PIRED
Date: April 2, 2018
Location: Durham, North Carolina
School jock Brooke is a popular athlete who is part of the school's lacrosse team but is also a notorious bully, known to physically harass anyone he views as inferior (a new student, a geeky chess club member, and a nerdy marching band leader).
On one afternoon, he tries to impress two females during a lacrosse practice and then harasses his victims again. As Brooke gives another shot, he is distracted by the school's popular girl walking by, unaware of the ball as it hit Brooke in the perfect place, causing commotio cordis and leading to his death of arrhythmia, Sending the Toxic Lacrosse Player & Jock To Hell.
Way To Die #156: Hard Balled
Date: July 17, 2020
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Carla D'chelio is a 17 year old celebrity, famous for her dancing on the app DeathTok. With a whooping 100.9 Million followers things are really looking up for Carla. But here is the thing, Carla is a big time Vape user and will constantly use it. She is using it in public and gets caught Vaping, the video gets posted online for te whole world to see. Carla sees the video and is slammed with alot of backlash. Carla sets up a live stream and waits for her fans to role in, at about 205k viewers of the live Carla explains that it was an "anxiety pen" and starts to show the viewers. she puts it in her mouth and takes a big inhale when suddenly BOOM!!! the Vape explodes and blasts her jaw clean off. If a vape battery is to overheat, whether it is inside the vape or electronic cigarette device or on a charging device, it is able to create a chain reaction that can lead to leakage of a liquid that is superheated, explosion, or ignition. The explosion was so powerful that her brain bounced back and forth inside her skull causing hemorrhaging and ultimately death.
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𝕃𝕚𝕧𝕖 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕥 ℝ𝕠𝕠𝕞:
Username4491049: Well FUCK
CoochieDestroyer31: 🎶The Bitch Is deeaad🎶
MethHead3361: R.I.P. black lungs
Username666: This would make a good 1000 Ways To Die story
FuckmeSenpai55: @Username666 Agreed
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Way To Die #666: Vape-orized
Death Counter: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 9 Dead Mother Fuckers