Part IV - Chapter 21

New Orleans was like an absolute dream. I loved everything about the city so much, and I knew that I would definitely have to come back someday. In fact, I think I could even live there.

But if I were to come back, I don't think I'd want to travel and stay there alone. I'd want to be there and enjoy my stay with a companion who was as passionate about the music and culture as much as I was. I'd want to go there with someone I loved dearly.

And I was in love with Miles Fotia. I hated myself for falling in love with him, it was wrong. It was one thing that we were secretly hooking up, but once love got involved… I knew how dangerous it was. Every time I fell in love with someone, it never lasted. I would always end up getting my heart broken.

But I couldn't help it. My crush on him quickly led me to deeply and passionately loving everything about him. He was my everything. And I wanted to be his everything, as well.

But I knew that he probably didn't love me. He liked me, and he liked how it felt when we had sex, but he loved his wife. I could never replace her. I doubt that he even felt half of what he felt for her for me.

And so, after my trip was over, I flew back home. I couldn't stop thinking about Mr. Fotia on the way back. He was all I wanted, I didn't want anyone else but him. I knew that he was the one, and nobody else could ever compare.

Once I landed back at the airport, Nia texted me and told me she was here to pick me up. I felt nervous to see her after I had come to terms with my feelings for her father. How could I casually act like everything was just fine and dandy when I was hiding such a big secret from her?

After leaving the terminal, I saw Nia dressed in a hoodie and shorts as her hair was tied back in a ponytail. She waved at me, and I took a deep breath before walking up to her. "Hey," I greeted.

"Hey! How was your trip?" She asked me. "It was amazing," I said with a dreamy sigh. "I really fell in love with New Orleans. The music video filming was fun, but exploring the city and checking out the culture and everything about jazz was really the highlight for me."

She smiled and nodded. "That's great, Cody. I'm happy for you," she said as we began to make our way out of the airport to head to the parking lot where she parked her car. I loaded my luggage in the trunk before sitting in the passenger seat beside Nia, and she turned on the radio to play some pop-rock music before driving her way back home.

"So…" She started to speak, seemingly becoming a bit more serious as she slightly turned down the volume of the radio. "I wanna talk to you about something."

Uh oh, is the first thing that came to my mind, suddenly feeling myself panic inside as to what this could possibly be about. I gulped my saliva nervously. "Oh? What is it?"

She pursed her lips, continuing to drive as she kept her eyes on the road. "Yesterday while you were still on your trip, my dad called me again," she said. "He asked me if I wanted to go rowing with him for a little bit, and even though I was hesitant to see him… I thought about what you told me."

I raised my brows in surprise, letting her continue to speak. "So, I decided to see him and hear him out. I remember when I was a lot younger, my parents took me on a rowboat. It was fun," she said with a sigh. "My mom liked being out on the water. Her and my dad would bring me out boating or fishing sometimes. I guess whatever my dad had to talk to me about was important, because he wouldn't ask me to do something like that with him if it wasn't."

She sighed again. "So, I drove down to meet him by the lake we used to visit, and he had rented a row boat for the day for us to use. It was a bit awkward, and we didn't talk that much at first as we paddled out onto the lake, but when we finally decided it was time to take a break, he apologized to me."

"Really?" Is all I could ask, and she nodded. "Yeah. I was like, 'what for?' And he basically apologized for everything. He apologized for choosing to finish his service over coming home to take care of me after mom died, he apologized for leaving me with my aunt and uncle while he was gone, he apologized for not being there for me more, and he apologized for being a shitty dad. He told me that at the time, he felt that he needed to channel his anger and sadness over losing mom into military practice, but that he regrets it now, and that he should have been there for me instead."

She then went silent for a little while before continuing to speak again. "He told me that when he came home, it was hard for him to be a father without mom around, and he didn't exactly know how to do it without her—and he was scared of losing me too, that's why he was always so strict." The car slowed to a stop at a red signal, and Nia closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Yesterday was the first time I ever saw my dad cry."

I looked down, not exactly sure what I was supposed to say. I just decided not to say anything at all until Nia finished speaking as she continued to drive. "My dad and I aren't that good at expressing our emotions… Like father like daughter, I guess," she said with a sad chuckle. "But he seemed like he really did mean what he was saying. I even started crying, too. I didn't know what else to do at that moment but just hug him, and he hugged me back. We've never hugged, not since mom was still around. But it felt nice, I think we both really needed it."

I looked at Nia, and her eyes seemed to start tearing up. "I just held him and told him I forgive him. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for him, y'know? I felt so selfish blaming him for shit that went wrong in my life when I didn't even consider what he must have been going through. I know he didn't handle things the way he should have, but… I forgive him. I don't think I'm fully okay with it all, but I'm willing to try and start fresh with him and rebuild our relationship. Little by little."

I couldn't help but smile a bit, feeling my chest fill with warmth. "Wow," is all I could say.

She nodded, wiping her tears with her wrist. "Shit, my fuckin' eyeliner's running," she said, making the both of us chuckle a bit.

She exhaled deeply. "Anyway, after we were done having our little emotional moment, we spent the rest of the afternoon rowing on the lake and talking. It was nice," she said, a bit more happy now. "He asked me if I have a boyfriend, but I don't think I'm ready to tell him that I'm not into guys."

Ah, so she is lesbian… I thought to myself. "How did you know that you weren't into the opposite sex?" I asked her curiously.

She went quiet for a moment before making her way into the parking lot of our apartment building. "Okay, so… You know how I told you that I had a crush on that girl back in middle school?"

"Yeah," I said, and she sighed as she parked. "Well, when I was fifteen, I got invited to this party this senior guy was throwing at his house. Apparently, he was into me, that's why he bothered to invite me and my friends. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but you know me and how much I like parties. Anyway, I snuck out with my friends to the party, and I ended up getting tipsy and hooking up with him, just to try and convince myself that I wasn't into girls." She shook her head. "It was really uncomfortable for me, and everything just felt wrong. It wasn't like he was ugly or anything, he was actually a really good-looking guy. But the whole time we were having sex, I was just hoping that it would end soon. So… After that experience, I realized that I never wanted to be with a man ever again. In fact, that experience turned me off from sexual intimacy period."

"Oh, wow…" Was all I could say. So Nia hasn't had sex since then? I feel bad that she had to go through such a bad experience that it ended up leaving her completely turned off from any kind of sex at all.

She slowly nodded and pursed her lips. "Yeah. So… I'm like, two-hundred percent sure that I'm not into dudes. I feel romantic and sexual attraction to girls, but… As I told you before, I only keep things platonic with everyone I meet. The thought of being in a relationship, or even having sex again, it scares me."

We sat there in silence for a bit before she broke the silence. "It's okay, though… I'm fine with just having 2D wives," she joked.

We got out of her car and made our way to our apartment, and after we got inside I went straight to my room to flop on my bed, thinking about what Nia and I talked about.

I'm really happy that her and Miles are starting fresh and beginning to rebuild their relationship, I thought to myself. This is exactly what I wanted—for them to get along and try and salvage their relationship.

I sighed and closed my eyes with a smile. Oh, Miles… You truly are such a good person, I love you so much. I can tell how much he loves Nia, and how much he's changed for her sake. He's a wonderful father. I'm sure that he would accept Nia if she told him about her sexuality, after all, he encouraged me to tell my own parents about mine…

My smile faltered thinking about my parents. They must know about my sexuality by now. Wouldn't every parent want to watch whatever media their child appears on? They definitely must have seen my interview by now. And Mint's music video is probably going to be released soon, I wonder what they'll think of it…

I placed a hand on my chest as I took a deep breath. I wonder if I should talk to them, face-to-face. But I'm so nervous… They're so religious, after all. What if they don't approve of my lifestyle and they tell me how disappointed they are in me?

I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling. I just hope whatever happens, they'll still love me.

---

About two weeks had gone by, and I hadn't visited Miles since before I went to New Orleans. He had a vacation from work for the month, and it seemed that he and Nia were spending more time together during his vacation, as a few times when I'd ask Nia where she went off to, she'd tell me that she went out with Miles to do something together. It made me happy knowing their relationship was slowly developing to a better place, and I wanted them to have that time together. It was good for them.

Meanwhile, I had more shoots for clothing companies who wanted me to post pictures of me photographed in their clothes. I was still waiting for the music video to come out, and it finally premiered after those two weeks of waiting. Nia and I watched it together—and I looked amazing. I almost couldn't believe how great the entire video was, from the filming to the editing and how I was the star of the video. There were shots where Mint was playing guitar and singing with the band playing behind them, but most of the video was of me. I spent a good amount of time just replaying it over and over again.

The video raked in plenty of views. By the end of the week it premiered, it got around ten million views. Ten million! I couldn't believe so many people saw me. I was getting even more gigs for shoots and appearances, and Chance was very pleased with me. I was not only happy for myself, but for him too. I knew how much he wanted to provide for his family, and I was happy to help with that.

I had finally gained one million followers on Posty. I was in complete disbelief, I never thought I would ever end up with one fucking million! I was getting so many sponsorships from companies and requests from other models to do shoots with them. I was happy to accept as many of the opportunities as I could, but there was still this fear in me of what my parents probably thought.

My mom called me one day, asking me if I was available so I could come over to their place. When I asked her why, she said her and my father wanted to see me, and provided no other details. I couldn't tell what her emotion was while she invited me over the phone, so I decided I would just have to go over and find out. I agreed to meet with them for dinner, and I was nervous just as to what it could be about.

So when the time for me to meet them came, I got myself ready, making myself look like a very presentable young man. I even slicked my hair back for a change, and I didn't look bad at all. I wore a rose dress shirt tucked into some black dress pants and my fancy shoes. I knew how much my mom liked it when I dressed up and looked nice and clean.

After I was done, I got in my car and made my way to my parents' house. I hadn't visited back home in a while, I kind of missed it.

I parked in the driveway, and it seemed that the leaves began to change colours and fall from the trees and into our yard. I remembered that when Nathan and I were young, our father would rake up the leaves in the yard and we would play in the piles.

I took a deep breath before I folded my hands together in prayer and closed my eyes. Dear God… Please don't let my parents hate me. I really love them, and they listen to you, so… Could you do me a solid? Alright… Amen, I prayed in my head before doing the sign of the cross.

I got out of the car and headed onto the porch, and I peeked through the window to see my parents setting the table in the living room. I hesitated to ring the doorbell. Calm down, Cody. They're your parents, it can't possibly go wrong, could it?

I took another deep breath before actually ringing the doorbell, and I waited until I saw the door open, and my mother answered with a smile. "Oh, Cody! You look so good. It's been quite a while, hasn't it?" She said.

"Yes, it has been. It's good to see you, ma," I greeted back.

"Come inside, dinner's just about ready," she said to me as she beckoned me to come inside. I nodded before she led me inside and I took off my shoes, taking a deep inhale at the familiar scent of my childhood home, like a mix of sandalwood and dryer sheets. I'll never get tired of that smell. It's just so comforting.

I headed into the kitchen to help my mother with dinner, but she insisted she didn't need any help and that it was time for us to eat anyway. My dad came into the room straight from the bathroom, and he seemed to greet me normally as well. I was surprised my parents were treating me as if nothing had changed between us.

We all said a prayer before dinner was served, which was a delicious casserole made by my mother. I always loved my mother's homemade cooking the best out of anything I've ever eaten.

"So… I've got to ask…" I began, not really wanting to be the first one to bring up the subject, but I knew I wanted to get over with it quickly. "Why did you two invite me over for dinner out of the blue?"

My mother and father looked at each other before finishing eating what they already had in their mouths. "We miss you, Cody. We haven't seen you in so long," my mother said, as if I was asking such a puzzling question. "Is it so wrong to want to spend time with our son?"

"No, but…" I poked at my food with my fork. "Isn't there… Something specific you want to discuss?"

They looked at each other again before looking at me and shaking their heads. "Not particularly. Why, is there something you wanted to discuss with us?" My dad asked.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. "Well, I'm sure you both have seen the kind of modeling I've been doing, and maybe even the interviews and appearances I've done… Don't you think the kind of thing I do is strange?" I asked them seriously, looking up at the crucifixion of Jesus hung up on the wall. It's kind of freaky having so many models of a dead guy on a cross hung up all around the house…

My mother took a sip from her glass of water before putting it down and resting her elbows up on the table, her hands folded together. "Yes, your father and I have been watching you this whole time—from your very first gig up until now," she said plainly, as if she was expecting this question. "Sure, what you're doing is out of the ordinary and certainly not conventional, but you're clearly doing what you love. And to us, that's all we care about. You're clearly living your dream and being successful at it, and we're proud of you."

I looked up with wide eyes and looked at them, who smiled warmly at me. "R-really?"

They looked at each other and nodded. "Really. Did you think we'd think any differently of you because of what you do?" My father asked me.

I looked away sheepishly and shrugged. "Well, yeah… I mean, you two were so religious, so I figured you'd disown me or something seeing the kinds of things I do, and the kind of person I am."

"What do you mean by 'the kind of person you are?'"

I scratched the back of my neck with a sigh. I really have to say it out loud? "I'm… Gay."

I was expecting them to gasp and pass out or something like that, but they showed no reaction, as if I was telling them that peaches were on sale at the grocery store. "Well, yeah," is all my mom said.

'Well, yeah?' What kind of response is that? I asked myself. My mom must have seen my confusion at her answer, so she elaborated further. "We figured you may have been ever since we saw your pictures on a Buddywall post. We didn't know for sure, but we knew there was a pretty big possibility you would be gay."

I forgot about Buddywall, I thought to myself in slight irritation. It was like Posty but for old people.

I was actually pretty shocked at how calm they were. "You two never said anything about it…" I quietly said as I looked down, tracing along the pattern of the tablecloth with my finger.

My dad shrugged. "Is there something we should say about it? I mean, we were really excited seeing you become as successful as you are, and you seem to be happy. That's what's important. But we wanted to only talk about it when you decided you were ready to talk about it."

I widened my eyes and looked up at them. "You mean… You two are fine with it? But don't Christians say it's wrong or whatever?"

"We don't believe what other people say. We believe that God loves everyone, no matter who they love," my mother said with a smile, reaching over to take my hand.

"As long as it's not children or animals, of course," my dad said, making me roll my eyes. But the fact that my parents accepted me knowing I was gay—it was beginning to get me emotional. I couldn't help but feel so overwhelmed with happiness that my eyes began to tear up.

"Oh, Cody…" My mom came over to hug me as I began to cry. My father got up from his seat to come over and join the hug. I felt so happy as they said nothing more, just holding me as they let me cry.

"Thank you," I whispered through my tears. "We love you, Cody," my mom said softly before we all let go. I picked up my napkin and wiped my face with a chuckle. "Sorry… I guess I got pretty emotional for a moment," I said but my parents shook their heads. "You don't have to apologize, sweetheart."

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. "Alright, I'm okay," I said before we went back to eating.

"Do you want to stay the night, Cody?" My dad asked me. "I have a bottle of vino we can share while we talk. You're old enough to drink, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'd like that," I said with a little smile.

My mom clapped her hands together and smiled. "Wonderful! We'd love to hear about everything you have to share with us while you've been living on your own!"

I grinned wider, feeling as if my cheeks would burst from how much I was smiling. I'm so glad my parents reacted so positively to me actually talking about it with them… I'm definitely going to tell them all about what I've been up to since moving out. Well, maybe not everything… I don't think I'm ready to tell them about Miles…

---

And so, I had a wonderful evening with my parents as my dad and I drank white wine while I told them about some of my adventures to places I've visited and different stories about things that happened to me during my job. It was nice. Then I took a bubble bath before I got to sleep in my old room that I actually missed. There's just something so comforting about sleeping in your childhood bedroom. Then I woke up to the smell of my mother's delicious blueberry pancakes that she made for me.

I truly felt grateful that my parents still loved me even after they found out I was gay. I felt lucky to have such accepting parents, as I knew a lot of people couldn't say the same. But now that they knew, I no longer felt as if I had anything to hide.

I could finally be my true self without worrying about what other people see.

Halloween was coming up, and I knew that Nia was definitely going to a party. She showed me her costume, and she explained it was one of her favourite characters from one of the video games she plays, who seemed to be some sort of 'slutty witch fighter.'

She asked me if I wanted to come, but I wasn't in much of a party mood, and I didn't feel like getting a costume or anything like that. I would probably stay in and just binge one of those forensic documentary series, now those were spooky.

I was missing Miles ever since he was back at work, I hadn't seen him in so long. I decided to phone him up and see if he wanted to see me, and he didn't seem super enthusiastic over the phone—as if he didn't really want me to come over but also didn't want to hurt my feelings by turning me down.

I decided I would come over to his place and find out what was wrong. I made sure to bring the gift I bought for him while I was in New Orleans. After I made my way over and parked in the driveway, I rang the doorbell and Miles answered, and I could already feel my heart fluttering in my chest just seeing him. "Hey, boy…" He said in a quiet tone, letting me inside.

"Hey," I greeted back, making my way inside. He closed the door. "Were you doing anything important?" I asked him and he shook his head and crossed his arms, looking down as he leaned against the wall. "Nah, I wasn't."

I tilted my head to the side as my brows knit in worry. "What's wrong, sir? You seem to have something on your mind."

He sighed deeply, taking a moment before deciding to speak. "Cynthia and I's wedding anniversary is comin' up," he said sadly.

My heart hurt for him. "Oh… I'm so sorry," I said quietly.

He took another deep exhale. "It's on the seventh of November," he said. "Usually I buy a bouquet of flowers and leave 'em at her grave as I just talk to her for a lil' bit. I tell her how Nia's doin' and how I've been doin'… Ain't that silly of me?"

I shook my head. "Not at all, I definitely think she appreciates it. And I'm sure she's really proud of you and Nia and how you two have been doing lately."

He smiled a little bit. "Thanks, boy…" He said softly, walking up to me and placing his hand on my shoulder, making me blush at his warm touch. "Well, do ya wanna go upstairs?"

I nodded. "Yes, but… Do you mind if maybe we could just… Cuddle and talk?" I asked him sheepishly, feeling so shy to be asking that. But he nodded, as if he wanted to. "Of course, I'd actually really like that," he said before leading me upstairs to his room.

I don't think I should drop the L-bomb on him just yet… It's a delicate time for him right now. But that's okay, I can wait. Right now, I just want to be there for him in any way I can.

---

Miles and I changed into more comfortable clothes and spent a good amount of time just cuddling and kissing in his bed as we talked about various subjects to get his mind off of things. I loved just being in his arms and feeling his body heat as we laid together and just talked, or even when we didn't talk and just enjoyed laying in silence.

"New Orleans must've been real nice, huh?" Miles asked me. I nodded. "Yes, it was amazing. Not only the filming, but just the city itself is absolutely wonderful. I'd love to go again…" I said with a dreamy sigh before I suddenly remembered the gift for Miles. "Oh! I almost forgot…" I separated from him for a moment to roll over onto my other side to reach for my sweater, which had the pewter pendant in its pocket.

I turned back to him and presented it to him. "I bought this at the World War II museum in New Orleans," I said as he took it and gazed at it in awe. "Wow, boy… This is really nice of ya," he said before looking at me with a smile. "I love it. Thank you," he said before kissing me on the forehead, making me giggle softly.

He rolled over and placed it on the nightstand before wrapping an arm around me again. "Thank you, boy… Not just for the gift, but for stayin' with me and makin' me feel better," he said. "I was planning on sulking by myself for the next little while, but… I needed this. I'm glad ya came."

I smiled as I felt my cheeks heat up. "Thank you for letting me come over, despite wanting to be alone," I said. "I'm happy to be able to help you in any way that I can, even if it's just being with you."

Miles went quiet for a while, holding my face with his hands as he pressed his forehead against my head. I wonder what he's thinking about.

He exhaled deeply. "Cody… Will you go with me to see her on the seventh?"

I widened my eyes. "You mean…"

"Yeah. I think… It would be easier if you were with me," he said in a quiet voice.

We just laid there in silence as I closed my eyes for a moment. "Of course," I said to him as I opened my eyes. "If you need me to be with you, then I'll be with you, no problem. Only if you're sure, though."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure," is all he said before he kissed my head, and he began to fall asleep with his arm around me. But all I could think about was why Miles would want me to come with him to his wife's grave on their anniversary.

It doesn't matter, I told myself. If he needs me there, then of course I'll go with him. I'd do anything for him.

---

Halloween came around, and Nia looked gorgeous in her costume. Her makeup and wig looked great, it made me begin taking an interest in makeup and wigs as well… That night, I ended up watching makeup and wig tutorials before ordering everything I needed to get started on even just trying to do it myself. I mean, why not? I have the money for it.

As expected, Nia's friend who was dressed up as some sort of elf character brought a plastered Nia back to our apartment at around three in the morning. I couldn't help but laugh a bit as I helped her to her bedroom and put her to sleep. She loves her parties…

The seventh finally came around, and I didn't know why, but I was slightly nervous. It was a bit chilly outside, so I wore a sweater and a windbreaker. I drove down to the Fotia house and parked in the driveway before I rang for Miles, who came out of the house with a jacket on and a beautiful bouquet of colourful flowers in his arms. He and I got into his truck, with me sitting in the passenger seat next to him as I held the flowers.

We were pretty quiet as we drove down to the cemetery, but I noticed that his key had the keychain hanging from it, the one I got for him from New York.

I couldn't help but slightly smile to myself. I can't believe he's actually using that dumb little keychain… Why does that make me so happy?

Miles pulled up into the parking lot of the cemetery before parking in an empty spot. It was a small cemetery that was surrounded by trees, the leaves falling from the branches and scattered around the graves.

I gave the flowers to Miles before we made our way up the stairs that led up the hill to where the cemetery was. I followed him to where Cynthia's resting place was, and he stood in front of her gravestone that had Cynthia Laurie Hopkins Fotia, 1975–2005 engraved on it, along with a quote.

"We'll meet again, don't you worry about that. Wherever you are, I'll be with you. Just look at the stars and know we're underneath the same sky."

I decided to give Miles some privacy so he could talk to Cynthia, but I still stood at a distance so I could hear what he was saying.

He knelt down in front of her stone, the wind slightly blowing through as the leaves around her grave moved around and crinkled. He placed the flowers in front of the stone before he sighed deeply. "It's our twenty-second anniversary today, Cynthia."

He went silent for a bit. "I got your favourite flowers. I know you like the ones from Melinda's shop, 'cause she always puts extra greens at no extra charge." He chuckled softly. "Well, I got some for you. But I would give you anything ya ever wanted, y'know?"

He paused to think before he continued. "I'll always love you, Cynthia. You're my first and forever love. You own my heart, and I miss ya like hell. But I just hope that somehow, you're watchin' over us. I hope you're seeing how Nia and I have been lately," he said, his voice slightly breaking as he began to cry. "We miss you. There's been so many times in my life where I wish you were here, and I'll be gettin' mad about you. I'll get mad that ya left us so soon and didn't tell anybody. But I know you didn't want to leave, Cynthia… If you had a choice, I know you would have chosen us. I just wish ya told us, I could've stayed home instead and spent more time with you… But that's not what you would have wanted, huh? You always told me to aim for my dreams." He took a moment to wipe his tears from his face. "You're my true love, Cynthia. It'll always be you."

I silently continued to listen, feeling my heart ache at his words. He continued. "I spent so long being single, but… I recently found that I could love someone again. There's this boy I've met… And he's made me feel love again."

I widened my eyes, feeling my stomach drop. He softly chuckled. "I know you'd probably slap me right across the face for fallin' for a boy, who's the same age as our own daughter. I never thought I could feel that way about anyone else other than you, but…" He sighed. "What this boy and I have… It's different from what we have, Cynthia. I love you, but I love him, too. I love you both, in different ways. My love for you is so different from the love I have for him, but it's love. I ain't like to talk 'bout my feelings too much, you know that… But I just want you to know that you'll ain't ever be replaced, Cynthia. I just learned how to cultivate my love for someone new. Somehow… I feel as if perhaps this was what you wanted for me," he said.

I covered my mouth with a hand, feeling my eyes tearing up. He… He said he loves me…! He loves me! He told his own wife about me…

"I wish you could've been around to see how much Nia's grown. She's a beautiful young woman, I'm sure ya would've been proud of her. I'm not exactly the world's best dad, but I've just been tryin' my best without you." He exhaled deeply and wiped his tears again. "Happy anniversary, Cynthia… I love you. Forever," he said before kissing his fingers and touching the top of her gravestone.

He began to stand up and I turned and looked away, wiping my eyes to make it look as if I wasn't listening. He walked over to me. "Alright, I'm finished," he said as I nodded and gave him a little smile. "Okay… Can I just say a few words to her as well?" I asked, not even sure myself why I wanted to.

He seemed slightly surprised to hear me ask that, but he nodded. "Yeah. I'll wait in the truck," he said as I nodded back. I walked over to Cynthia's grave, sighing as I knelt down in front of it.

What should I say? Should I just say a prayer and leave? I wondered. I guess I'll just say whatever I feel I need to say.

"Hi, Cynthia… My name is Cody Vale," I greeted, as if she was there in front of me. "I've never met you, but… I know how much Nia and Miles love you. You must have been a wonderful mother and wife, and I have nothing but absolute respect for you."

I sighed. "You're very beautiful from the pictures I've seen of you. You and Miles made a very beautiful girl who's amazing inside and out. I think you would be proud of her. She's my best friend, and I love her so much. Nobody has been there for me like she has. I'm very grateful for our friendship."

I went silent for a bit before speaking again. "I hope you don't think I'm stealing your man or anything… I love Miles. I know you'll always be his true love, and I'm okay with that. I shouldn't feel jealous of you. I don't want to be your replacement, because I know what you two had was special. What Miles and I have is special too—it's different, but it's special."

I sighed deeply again. "The way he makes me feel, it's indescribable. He's perfection, and I love everything about him. I'm so in love with him, I would do anything for him. I just hope you'd be able to allow us to love each other," I said. "I can't know for sure if we have your blessing or not—but if we do, then I'm eternally grateful. I can see how much Miles has changed for the better since we first met… And I fell in love with him during his process. I was there with him."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Thank you for loving Miles and Nia as much as you did. They love you, too. I hope you're resting peacefully and your soul is living on in heaven." I finished by reciting a prayer before doing the sign of the cross, standing up and brushing off my pants before I headed down the hill and back to Miles' truck.

We both sat there for a few minutes in silence, just thinking for a bit as we stared up at the cemetery.

I looked over at Miles and gently placed my hand over his. He took my hand and laced our fingers together, not saying anything. But I knew what he was saying with just that gesture—he was saying 'thank you.'

Whether he was thanking me for coming with him or thanking me for letting him learn to love again, I squeezed his hand back to let him know that I was also grateful for him.

I taught him how to love again… And he taught me how to love again, as well.