Why's

Crowd. Konan really is a fan of crowded places. Even at school, entrance ceremonies, breaks, P.E , group works. She does not hate it but she definitely doesn't like it either. Can't tell which is which because she's "blank" in the first place. A loner, that's what they call people like her. But events like this is like emphasizing how lone she is, she's always been left out. In group works, no one wants her in their group. In pairing, whoever has no partner is left with no choice but to pair up with her, or choose to work alone.

Oh, right. There are times where she got included in group activities, that is when the teacher is the one choosing the group members. However, she can't really call it a group work. She's never been included in the "group."

'Oh, Fujioka? Don't worry about that activity, it's finished. We had a sleepover last night at Ume-chan's house to do it.'

'Of course we included you. Think of it as a load off your shoulders.'

Or on a different scenario, they would push all the works on her.

'You can do it right, Fujioka-san? After all, you always rank first in our class and always has the highest test scores. We're leaving that to you then, but don't tell the teacher okay? It will be our own little secret.

One could say, she was being bullied or shunned.

She asked herself then, 'Why won't they ask me? I knew about the topic. I can contribute ideas. I can sketch if needed.' But then she realized, if she would join them, she would be out of place, she would stick like a sore thumb, a grey in a group of bright colors. If she's got emotions, what would she feel being left out? How would loneliness taste like? Ah, she's full of questions that might be forever be left unanswered.

'Konan-chi? What are you thinking about?'

"Huh?" Oh, she wandered too deep in her thoughts again. "Could you repeat what you said Ami? I didn't quite caught it."

"Geez, of course you wouldn't, you were staring at the thin air like there's no tomorrow, Konan-chi. I said, your friend really look passionate with singing, do you think he would pursue being an idol in the future? I mean, he's got the looks, talent, personality and everything to be up on stage." Konan looked at Ami whos arms are crossed in her chest with a puffed cheeks.

An idol? Passionate? Does he look passionate? How would she know? She can't recognize it. All she knows is his eyes look different in the stage earlier. It's like she's looking at a field of wisteria. What would being passionate look like? What is her passion? Did she ever look passionate?

'I have no idea. I'll try asking him later.'

The noise around them as if not loud enough, tuned up even more as the girls started chattering. Some even let out a muffled scream.

'Oh, speaking of the devil.' Hana muttered, her eyes fixated behind Konan. Turning her head to see the ruckus, Konan saw Rui with the other club members. Girls stared as they walk, as if they were star struck. One girl who was eating even choked on the takoyaki she was wolfing down.

'Here.' the girl's world stopped for a moments when an angel handed him a half-emptied water bottle. She could not help but stare at those brilliant orbs in front of her. She could not find the exact words to say--

'T-thank you.'

Oh, looks like she found it. Although she stammered.

'Welcome'

'Please be careful next time.' the girl averted her gaze to another handsome guy who spoke to her. Ah, what a lucky day, the guitarist, Ryosuke Haru wished her safety.

'Ah, what a gentle and soothing voice. I think I'm in love. Could this be love?' the girl thought as she watch the angel's back walking away from her.

No girl, I think you should run. It's danger.

sign, Author.

'What? A-author?' the girl pondered as she ran for her life away from a crowd of girls with fierce eyes locked on the water bottle she is carrying. Who wouldn't want to drink from the bottle used by an angel? And more importantly, there's nothing more tasty of a prey than a girl who got to talk by two of the band members.

'K-chan~, how was my performance earlier? Ah, I was so nervous it's my first time' Rui happily said as he approached Konan. There's nothing better than seeing her face after performing.

'Nervous? You were practically oozing with confidence earlier that what you're saying now is hard to believe.' Ami said, raising her brows at Rui. ' Right, Konan-chi?' she turned to Konan.

Konan shook her head. ' I don't know. Are you?' she passed the question to Rui.

' It's because Miss Konan here is watching. That's why Rui-kun successfully rocked his first performance.' said Haru, beating Rui to his answers. Well it's true anyway, while he was performing earlier all he did is look at Konan's eyes like there's just the two of them. Doing that made him forget he's performing in front of a crowd.

'Right, Rui-kun?' Haru winked as he threw his arms around Rui. Rui nodded and slightly scratched his cheek before smiling.

'Anyway K-chan, Hana-san and Ami-chan, we are to watch the fireworks display later at the rooftop. Wanna come with us?' Rui whispered. Hana and Ami exchange glances. And then they looked at Konan.

'What about you Konan-chi?' Ami asked. 'What about me?' Konan silently asked herself. What about her. She never watched a fireworks with other people except her family. Actually, she always finds fireworks beautiful to look at. How they lit up the night with many colorful sparks. Her mother once said, watching fireworks with friends, lovers and loved ones always feel magical. What does magical feels like?

The whole group looked at her, waiting for her answers, especially Rui, who hoped she would say yes and go with them and Hana and Ami who's waiting for her answer to decide.

'I haven't tried watching fireworks with a group before, so I want to try it out. I'm up for it.' she said and looked at her two friends. Ami smiled and Hana nodded, smiling. Konan, smiled. The one they taught her how to. A sweet smile, as to them her appreciation, of course she can't give them a genuine one but now she realized, how beautiful it is to give them a smile coming from her heart, full of her emotions.

Rui's eyes widen the moment he saw Konan smile. A something in his stomach fluttered about. The smile didn't reach her eyes, but..., but it was beautiful. 'She looked beautiful.' he muttered, unknowingly spoke his thoughts.

It was just a low mutter but it was heard by Haru who gave him a meaningful grin.

'What are you grinning at there buddy?' he cluelessly asked Haru.

'Nothing, just remembered something. ' Haru shook his head and tapped Rui's shoulder. 'Hey guys, don't you wanna buy something for, you know..?' he said turning to where Konan and the girls were sitting. 'the fireworks seeing.' he added, in a whisper. Hana gave it a thought before snapping her fingers. 'You're on!' she said and dragged Ami.

Haru smiled and dragged Ginji and Shiro with him. 'We'll be back soon, Rui-kun, Miss Konan.' he said and walked away waving. Hana and Ami also flashed Konan an apologetic smile and waved away.

Konan waved at them and glanced at Rui who offered his hand in front of her. 'What?' she asked.

Rui chuckled. 'I said earlier I have a date with my bestfriend right? Who else would be my bestfriend? Let's go.' He said. Konan reluctantly took his hand and let herself be drag away as the two of them went around looking at each classes' booth an presentation. A thing Konan just did earlier and found tiresome but for some reason she seem to enjoy right now.

10..9..8....4..3..2...1!

The fireworks went off the sky, in a different lively colors and pretty shapes. The group watched it in the rooftop, the best place to watch a firework. Each of them amazed at the view, as if it is their first time seeing fireworks.

While everybody was too focused on the show, Konan took the opportunity to observe each of her friends.

Beside her is Rui, then next to him is Haru, then Ginji and Shiro. On her left side was Hana and Ami.

'Ah, what is this?' Her heart is beating wildly, so much that it baffled her. She clutched her chest. ' But even though her heart is restless, she doesn't feel bad like how she usually faints every time her heart went a little too wild. She just felt, comfortable. What is happening to her?

'Ami, Ginji-kun might melt you know?' she heard Hana whispering beside her.

Ami let out a low shriek with an unusual pink tint on her cheeks. Konan thought it's what they call "blush".

'Shhh, silence Hana-chan.' she said with a shushing motion. Hana laughed as she gave a wink to Konan. Konan nodded as a response to Hana's wink because of the reason that she don't know how wink.

'Are you having fun, Konan-chi?' Hana asked her before returning her gaze to the fireworks.

Is she having fun? Perhaps she is. Everything had change. She had her first time watching a firework with friends, more importantly, she now have friends. Unlike before, back when she was lone.

'I am.' she muttered and gazed at the colorful explosions.

'That's good then,' Hana said, smiling as she watched the same scenery everyone is looking into. This time are one of the few good times she had in her life and is definitely a memory worth cherishing.

And for Konan, the fireworks lasted short but it was a long moment of her life with her realizing many things. How she realized she didn't deserve moments like this because she can't appreciate it, because she is blank while looking at the scenery, surrounded by friends. And that's why even though she didn't really believe in God, she found herself praying, 'Dear God, please let me share other people's feelings and emotions....'

'Please, I beg you,'

Will her prayer reach God's ears?

.