II- Him by Kyun

I always think of him, he invades my mind torturing me with every thought. Why does love hurt so much? Why is my heart so tight? It destroys me, gnaws at this body full of dust and dirt, wounds and bruises.

I am repulsive.

My face is full of dirt, dust, and dried blood from working in the mine. I am only 17 years old, but I have to work to help my father because we are the only ones who can provide for ourselves. Mum left a few years ago. She died of her illness, her cancer. I miss her, I miss her voice, I miss her smile, I miss her whole being.

But I have to continue to live and move forward by helping my father in the mine and going to school every day. I have very good grades due to hard work. School is the only place where work pays, so I go there with joy.

I suffer from my situation and I know my body can't take it anymore but I have to hold on. Yesterday, during my medical check-up, the doctor said my lungs are getting blacker and blacker because of the gases I breathe in the mine every day in addition to my living conditions.

I live with my dad in what is called a slum. It's a dilapidated shack in a bad part of the town. There is no electricity and if there is any it is only for a few hours. We don't have running water, so when we have some we prefer to keep it for emergencies. There are only three rooms in this hovel, the living room, the bedroom, and a room that we use as a shower and kitchen.

It must have been 2 years since I had new clothes. We used to take them from the charities or from the bins where the clothes that richer people didn't want to wear anymore were stored. And often, even very often, they were not in good condition. So I had to walk around with clothes with holes in them or be patched up awkwardly by my father.

Speaking of him, I love him, I even adore him. He is my reason for living. He helped me so much, he did so much for me. He's the reason for all this hard work, to achieve my dream which is going to Neo Seoul.

I met him on the day of the inauguration of the new buildings in Neo Seoul. On that day there were a lot of people from the top hierarchy all gathered in a corner of the reception hall. I could recognize some of them: JinKyun, MinHo, Hwi, SangHoon, ChulHei, and JiHyuk.

The latter immediately caught my attention. I stared at him with insistence, incapable of controlling myself, until he turned towards me.

I was so ashamed. I felt as if I was defiling the eyes of such a clean and prestigious man. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but look at that delicately tanned skin, that fine pink mouth, and those beautiful green eyes... Just the opposite of me, who had all the makings of a repulsive being.

He turned to me, he smiled at me, filling my uneasiness and waking up this smile yellowed by the lack of hygiene. After that, I couldn't stop smiling while looking for him from time to time.

I had thought that a game of seduction was taking place between the two of us when he started to wink and smile at me.

Later in the evening, as I began to feel the fatigue of the week, he came closer to me. Panic took the place of fatigue as I tried to run away.

I must not let him get any closer. I would risk getting him dirty or worse...

As I approached the toilet door to take refuge there, he came out of nowhere to block my way. He smiled back at me and I lowered my head with my cheeks on fire. He grabbed my chin which made me panic and then he waited to catch my gaze to start talking.

JiHyuk "Who dared to ruin such a beautiful face?"

I didn't answer, preferring to look back down. Before saying in a small voice.

"My apologies, sir, but I'm everything but beautiful."

"Where do such ideas come from?" He replied in a deep voice.

"Excuse me, I didn't mean to..." I said

before I was cut off.

"What is your name?"

"Kyun, Do Kyun."

"Kim JiHyuk, nice to meet you."

"Likewise, sir," I answered bending respectfully.

The doorbell for the guests to leave began to ring. I stood up to see him leave, I was about to do the same when I saw a paper on the floor. I picked it up and read it, there were his contact details and a message that underlined the desire to see me again.