Another Chance

A while later, my mom enters the kitchen. "Sweetie, I know it's late, but your dad and I would like to talk to you about this whole situation."

I barely take in her words. Something about her sweet, comforting words, triggers something inside of me, and I break down crying. I'm just so, so tired of all this. When did life become so complicated? Why can't everything be like it was in high school?

Alarmed, my mom runs over me and starts hugging me. "Rose, Rose, I'm here. It's okay. Why are you crying?"

"I never meant for any of this to happen," I sob. "Really! I never meant to hurt anyone."

Now that the truth is out, the pressure of all the previous months leaves my body, and I cry even harder.

I'm just so exhausted. I'm exhausted from lying. I'm exhausted from feeling guilty. I'm exhausted from my job. I'm exhausted from not having a home anymore.

I'm exhausted from Hajun, and yet, the thought of being fired is unbearable to me.

"Hey, I know, baby," she tries to calm me down, obviously overwhelmed at the situation. I'm weeping like a baby, like I haven't in years. "Come on, let's go to bed, Rose, we can talk tomorrow."

...

The next morning, I drag my feet to the breakfast table, convinced my parents are going to yell at me first thing in the morning. My eyes are puffy from smiling and I look like a depressed zombie. When I glanced at the mirror after waking up, I quite literally cringed at myself.

Instead of that, they smile at me as soon as I enter our kitchen and serve me some home-made pancakes. Confused, I stare at the plate. I can't remember the last time my parents have made pancakes on the weekend. I must have been twelve years old.

"Good morning, honey," my mom says while kissing me on the head. "Eat up; we made you pancakes."

Baffled, I look from one parent to the other, both staring at me innocently, as if this was just a perfectly normal Saturday morning.

"You're not mad at me?" I ask.

My dad looks up from his newspaper. "No one is mad at you, Rose."

"But yesterday..." I start, wanting to remind them of how disappointed they seemed.

"We're not angry," my mom interrupts me, sitting down across from me, "we're hurt. Hurt because our own daughter didn't trust us enough to tell us the truth about her life."

Her words make me feel guilty again. "They didn't have a spot anymore for me at the travel program. I bugged you so long to let me participate there, and I'm aware of what a financial sacrifice it was for you. I was just so... ashamed of myself."

Suddenly I'm very thankful for the pancakes. I can pretend to eat them instead of having to look my parents in the eyes.

"Sweetie, we don't care about the stupid travel program. All we care about is you and your happiness." My dad says soothingly.

Sighing, I massage my temples. "I'm sorry I lied to you. Sincerely. Now I ruined everything. Hajun's so furious at me, even more than usual."

My parents exchange looks.

"Well, he has a right to be, you know," my dad says.

A little bit taken aback, I respond defensively: "I know. It's just, I really don't want to lose this job." I don't want to sound like an entitled brat. Of course, Hajun has got all the reason in the world to be mad at me. For once, I can't blame his usual crazy antics for his anger at me, and I'm not feeling too great about that. I'm only human, after all, and every human being struggles to own up to their mistakes.

My mom frowns. "Is this about the money? You don't have to force yourself to keep working, Rose. We're your parents, we can pay for you for a little longer."

Quickly, I shake my head. "What? No, it's not about the money. Not anymore, at least. It's just... I like who I am when I work, no matter how incredibly challenging it is. And every time I succeed at making Hajun's life at teeny tiny bit easier, I feel fulfilled."

Silence. Anxiously, I'm biting my lip. Do they believe I'm so kind of masochist for thinking that way? When I finally look up from my pancakes, my dad sends me a sad smile. "Listen, I'm sure you know Hajun much better than your mother and I do, and I don't want to speak for you. But judging from the conversation we had with the young man yesterday, I really don't think he has any intention of firing you. All he wants is an apology. You need to see it from his perspective, Rose. As a celebrity, Hajun is around fake people all the time. The bare minimum he expects from his staff is to be real. You can't blame him for that."

Suddenly, Yejun's words from a few weeks ago reappear in my mind. He's been betrayed a lot, you know. A lot of fake friends, people with bad intentions wanting to enter his life.

Then I imagine what it must be like to be him. Everyone fighting for your attention in the vilest ways, and attempting to enter your life no matter how much lying and betraying others it involves. And then you find out that your assistant, who's supposed to be one of the people you can trust no matter that, lied about some of the most essential parts of her life.

Hajun wasn't angry yesterday night. He was hurt. I finally realize that now.

If I want him to forgive me, I'll have to swallow all my pride.

...

The next day, I'm standing in front of Hajun's door with two suitcases and a backpack, ready to move in with him.

Have I warned him that I would show up at his apartment on this Sunday morning? Nope, not at all. We haven't exchanged a single text message since our fight on Friday evening.

However, after spending my entire last day pondering about what I want, I've made my decision: I want to keep working for Hajun, and I want to move in with him. Even if that'll probably mean I'll have to beg him on my knees, which is the ultimate Korean apology and something I would have always preferred to avoid.

With my heart beating louder than ever, I ring the doorbell. Here goes nothing, I guess.

I hear footsteps coming closer to the door, and someone grunting: "I told you to just put the package in front of the door. No need to ring."

Oh. Hajun must've ordered something and thinks I'm some delivery guy. Biting my lip, I'm not sure what to say.

What if he doesn't forgive me? What if he rejects me? I'm placing all my bets on his mercy even though he's been nothing but merciless with me in the past.

Swearing under his breath, my boss opens the door. His annoyance turns into genuine surprise when he recognizes me. "Rose? What are you doing here?"

Then, he notices the suitcases around me and repeats the same question; this time a little bit more aggressively. "What are you doing here, Rose?"

Shit. I really didn't think this through, did I? My tongue feels very heavy. What was the plan again? What did I want to say?

Meanwhile, Jungkook's patience is growing thin as I still haven't uttered a single word and we're just silently staring at each other. He raises an eyebrow and leans towards me, so I have to look him in the eyes. "Cat's got your tongue?"

Alright, I can do this. All I need to do is to finally be honest. "I'm so sorry," I splutter out. "I'm sorry for lying and for breaking your trust. Because you must feel like everything I've ever told you has been fake so far, let me tell you something that's real: Yes, it's true that I accepted this job because I was looking for a quick and convenient way to make money. However," I take a deep breath," that's not the reason I want to keep this job. I want to keep this job because I feel passionate about it. I want to keep working for you because it is never dull, and I encounter new challenges every day. And I want to move in with you because it'll improve my work quality. So please, oppa, forgive me. Take me back. By lying to you and my parents, I ran away from all my responsibilities, but I'm not running anymore. I'm here, facing my mistakes, and... well it's the scariest thing I've ever done. And it's also quite mortifying if we're being honest. So, um, if you could say something, anything, instead of staring at me like that, I'd, um, I'd greatly appreciate it."