He Can't Tell Me What to Do

That same evening, I sneak out of the apartment to join Eun and Chan for a little dinner. This time, I'm smart enough not to mention anything in front of Hajun. Even though I'm not properly going out this time, I'm certain my boss wouldn't approve of my plans. He's not particularly fond of Eun and Chan hasn't debuted yet, which means I should still keep my distances.

However, I've wanted to hang out with both of them together since the day I first met Chan. Something tells me Eun and he will complement each other well enough.

"So, Rose-ah, some soju?" Eun asks me cheerfully.

I smile at her mischievously. "Only a little bit."

"What about you, Chan?" She turns to our new friend.

I almost expect him to say no, but then he nods. "Why not?"

Impressed, I raise an eyebrow at him. "Did something happen?"

Hastily, he nods, and obviously eager to tell us. "Actually, yes."

"What is it, Chan-ah?" I ask slowly, enjoying the giddy sight of him.

"I'm debuting!" Chan squeals in a way that makes him sound more dolphin-like than human.

We both stare at him with an open mouth. "Really?"

Our friend grins. "Yeah. So we should cheer to that, shouldn't we?"

His happiness radiates off to me. How can a boy my age be so pure and charming? HA Entertainment really did an excellent job finding him. Chan is an absolute gem.

His genuine and kind personality just makes him so incredibly likeable.

Warmly, I beam at him. "I'm so happy for you."

"Me too!" Eun joins in. Then, she frowns. "Well, I don't really know you yet, but I am happy for you in a way you would be happy for a stranger."

"That's not a thing, Eun-ah," I tell her, but she ignores me as she pours us the soju that has just been served.

"Chan," Eun says, "you're aware the real suffering is going to start now, right? Debuting, competing against hundreds of other groups... it's going to be so tough."

"I'm aware of that." Our friend smiles dreamily. "But at least I can show people how hard I've worked now."

A couple of glasses later, my phone rings, and I immediately get startled. Not because I'm scared of my phone ringing, but because it can only mean one thing. There's only one person I haven't put on mute, only one person that needs to be able to join me at all times.

An Hajun is calling me.

And I let it ring.

I might feel though enough to ignore his call, but not brave enough to decline it either.

Then, my phone screen lights up with a text of his. "Where are you?"

Feverishly, I ponder and wait a few moments before replying. What's a realistic excuse? "Late night grocery shopping. You want anything?"

"I'm good. You have your keys, right? Because I'm going to sleep now."

I just send him a thumbs up and want to talk to my friends again, forget about Hajun, but naturally, my brain doesn't let me. Instead, I suddenly recall this morning, Hajun talking about me in the third person, confident I wouldn't dye my hair simply because he said so.

Why does he always have to treat me like a damn child?

And why do I care so much about his opinion?

I need to stop caring.

Meanwhile, my pensive face has caught Chan's and Eun's attention.

"What is going on?" Chan whispers to Eun. "She looks like she wants to murder someone."

"That's the face she makes when she thinks about Hajun.", Eun explains to him matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Chan says slowly. "I see."

I'm not listening to them. All I can hear are Hajun's words.

Rose's not dying her hair.

So just leave it, Rose-ah.

Heck no, I won't leave it.

"You don't get to decide what I should do, An Hajun," I murmur. I'm sick of listening to him.

"Rose, sweetie," Eun says slowly the way one would talk to a child, "you're aware Hajun is not here right now, right?"

I don't react to what she's just told me. Instead, I ask her: "How do you think would pink hair look on me?"

The rational part of me is already well aware of what she's going to answer. We're not idols. Normal people do not dye their hair, especially once they've outgrown their rebellious teenage phase. Normal people cannot get jobs or join certain clubs with dyed hair, not to mention always having to deal with their grandma's or auntie's judgmental glare. No matter how badly I wish it was different, the only adults who can afford to be creative and unique with their appearance are idols.

Immediately, my best friend frowns. "Horrendous. Why would you even want that, Rose? Is this the alcohol talking?"

Is it? Or is it just my anger at Hajun? Or both?

Gosh, I'm going crazy.

Then, Eun narrows her eyes as something dawns on her. "Are you behaving that way because of something Hajun said? Did he tell you pink hair would look ugly on you? Ugh, that jerk. How could he do such a thing?"

Chan, who's clearly overwhelmed with the entire situation - he's not used to Eun's and my dynamic yet, and he does not seem to hang out with girls very often- , just frowns at her. "But you just said the same thing to her."

Eun swats his words away with a movement of her hand. "That's completely different. I'm her best friend if I don't tell her the truth, who will? Besides, Hajun only told her that because, for whatever reason, he thinks he can control her. If Rose genuinely wanted to dye her hair, I would support her."

"Do you, Rose?" Chan's gaze falls on me.

"What?" I retort, staring sadly at my soju glass.

"Want to dye your hair?"

I just shrug. "What does it matter? It'll anger him if I do it."

Eun playfully raises an eyebrow at me. "All the more reason to."

Confused, I say: "I thought you were against it."

My friend grins mischievously. "Well, I suppose some nicely dyed hair strands wouldn't look too bad. And I still know how to do it thanks to my punk phase in middle school."

That's the last thing I remember.