0.5

We went to the dining room; I could see the smiling faces of my siblings as they served themselves food, my little sister almost bounced out of her seat from the excitement she had in her voice telling us how her day went. I could hear my brother and sister bickering about some video game and lastly, I could see my mother smiling with a sad smile that today might be the last dinner we were going to have as a family in a while.

I waited until we were all seated to tell them. After everyone was seated, I looked towards my mother and she nodded, I took a deep breath “I'm leaving” I said in a whisper. I could see the confused face of my brother and sister and then the small sweet voice of my little sister asked “why, you don’t love us anymore”. That shattered the last wall I had built to try not to cry. “no that’s not why I'm leaving, I will always love you guys''. I said as tears rolled down my face “then why are you leaving? You promised you wouldn't leave me!” screamed my brother as tears ran down his face as he threw his chair back and ran upstairs. “mom.” I said as I looked at her “go.” she said. As I ran up the stairs to my brother's room.

As I got to his door, I tried to calm myself down before I knocked on his door. As I knocked on his door and begged him to let me in. “come on Nathen let me in and let me explain please”. I pleaded “go away, I hate you, you promised”. Nathen cried I sled down the door my back towards the door. As I sat on the floor I said “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I have to leave Nathen but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you guys”. As I looked up towards the ceiling to try to stop crying. “then why are you leaving Marcelo” Nathen's fragile voice came through the other side of the door. “because it's something that I feel I have to do but that doesn’t mean you can’t text me nor call me I'll always be here for you guys” I said “but what about us, you promised that you’ll protect us from dad” Nathan cried “ mom and dad are getting a divorce and she’s getting full custody of you guys, and she also got a restraining order against are father. So you’ll be safe even without me here”. I said “what about mom, she doesn't even know I’m gay. What if she doesn’t love me anymore when I tell her”. He whimpered I laughed a sad laugh “ she’ll still love you trust me Nathan there's nothing you can do for her loving you” I said

“How do you know”. Nathen said “just trust me Nathan, she’ll still love you” I said as I sighed and put my face in my hands and prayed that hopefully he wouldn’t hate me for the rest of his life, that’s when I heard the click of the door lock . I got up from the floor as Nathan opened the door and stood their wiping his tears from his face as he said “I hate you but I understand'' that's when I grabbed him and hugged him as tightly as I could and told him “come on let’s head down stairs and talk to Abigail and Scarlett ``okay” he said as we headed down stairs I could hear my mom’s voice from the living room instead of in the dining room, as we walked into the dinning room I could hear my mom tell Scarlett “that I’ll be okay Marcelo well explain everything”. That’s when my mom looked up and saw me and Nathan in the entrance of the living room. That’s when she held open her arms and we all ran up to her as she hugged us and told us she loved all of us and that there wasn’t anything that could change that. That’s when I looked at Abigail. She hadn’t said anything all night after I told them I was leaving, but I could see tears on the ridge of her eyes as she tried not to let them fall.

“Enough of this sadness lets just watch a movie for the rest of the night”. My mom said trying to lighting up the mood as dinner was forgotten on the kitchen table “let it go” screamed Scarlett with enjoyment so much enjoyment in her voice “okay let it go it is” my mom declared as she laughed sadly while Nathan grounded “not again, we already watched let it go 3 times this week”. “To late i already chose the movie” Scarlett gloated as my mom put the movie in the DVD player as we watched the movie I looked to my side and saw my mom and my siblings and saw how they were going to be without my dad and seeing how selfish I am making them feel this pain but I told myself it’s something I have to do for myself even if it’s selfish. As the movie finished my mom carried Scarlett up to her room and told the rest of us to go to bed. As we all headed of to bed I felt Abigail hug me from behind and whisper “don’t forget us” that's when I turned around and hugged her back and told her “never, I could never forget you guys even if I tried and I love you guys too much to forget you to”. As we headed off to bed it all came to me this was the last night I was going to see my mom, siblings and my friends as I walked to my bedroom and climbed into my bed and tried to find sleep and hoped I was doing the right thing even if it was hurting the people I loved as I finally drifted off to sleep.