0.8

As Hunter walked to what I assumed was the living room. As Hunter sat down on the couch I sat on the side next to him as tried to start think of how to start a conversation with him and try to make him forget what he was supposed to ask me what I was doing here and especially in Arkansas a state away from where I'm originally from, but for some unknown reason luck wasn’t on my side as he asked “what are you doing here”. As I tried to come up with something to say without telling him the truth. “Couldn’t I just come and see you?” I said with hope that he would believe me “we haven’t seen each other in 2 years nor have we kept contact how am I supposed to believe Marcelo”. He said with frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair as he looked at me. Knowing that’s something he does when he is frustrated or worried. That's when he said something that made me freeze up “was it your father did he do something to you”. He said with an angry tone as I tried to scoot as far away from him as possible without physically getting off the couch as he reminded me of when my father got mad at me and my siblings. As I thought that was only half the truth of why I left.

As i looked the other way so we couldn't see the fear and anxiety in my eyes but like all my life, luck wasn’t on my side as he grabbed me and made me straddle him and graded my face to look at him in the eyes even though I tried so hard to not to look at him knowing I could let my wall’s break. As he sternly “look at me Marcelo please” as I did I could see all the anger and worry that he held in his eyes as the tears ran down my face as he grabbed me and hugged we towards his as I tried to muffle my cries in shoulder as he tried to sooth me and telling me that I didn’t have tell him what i was doing here until I was ready, but I knew I needed tell him he deserved to know.

He was the only other person I trusted rather than my mother. As I tried to regain oxygen to my lungs and the strength to tell him what made me want to run as far away as I could without looking back. “I couldn’t do it anymore Hunter, I wasn't strong enough”. I said with a sob, as Hunter hugged me tightly towards him “its okay you can tell me anything I won’t judge you I’m here for you “ he said softly. “I...I ran aw..away b..b.because I couldn’t take the screaming and all the insults that were thrown at me and my mom. I couldn’t, we had to protect my younger siblings so me and my mom took all the beatings b..but they knew about the abuse because they were always in the house when it happened we would always tell them to hide so he couldn’t hit them. Is it selfish of me to have left them behind? I know m.mm.my mom got a restraining order and is going to divorce him b...bu...but I had planned to run away before i knew my mom was going to get a divorce. So I'm a selfish person and a horrible son and an older brother” I said as sobbed trembled my body and cried into his his neck.

As I told him everything I waited for him to say something as my mind made it’s own thought of what he thought about what I told him. What if he hated me now and I'm the selfish person I think I am? I’m a horrible, selfish person I thought. What son would leave their mother and siblings with an abusive person with no one to protect them? My mind screamed at me, as my mind went through a million bad scenarios that could happen to them.

As Hunter grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes and said “you’re not a horrible person and other people would want to get away too at any chance they had”. “but I am a horrible person I was going to leave knowing he was still there, what if my mom hadn’t gotten the restraining order on him he would still be there with them, Hunter” I said as tears streamed down my face. “You’re mom and siblings are okay Marcelo, your mom got the restraining order to be able to keep your father far away from you and your siblings and she’s also divorcing him, Marcelo”. He said as I tried to believe him but I just couldn’t. “You're okay Marcelo, there okay Marcelo, and you're not a horrible person you’re trying to make yourself seem” he said with his own tears in his eyes as he tried to convince me that I wasn't the monster I thought I was for leaving my mother and siblings back in Texas.

“But I am a horrible person Hunter”. I whimpered as he hugged me tightly once again as we sat there in silence as he tried to sooth me.

P.O.V. Hunter

It hurt me, it hurt me so much seeing him like this broken and blaming himself for something that wasn’t his fault. As I held him he wasn’t the monster he thought he was, he was just trying to get away like any other person would have done in his situation. I could see/hear his broken cries and whimpers as I tried to calm him down from having a full blown panic attack from crying. I knew I should have asked him to leave with me when I had left Texas I thought to myself. As I could feel that Marcelo had fallen asleep from tiring himself out from crying, I carried him to my bedroom and laid him down on my bed.

As I thought to myself, what was I going to do and how was I going to help him because I couldn't just let him blame himself for all the abuse and hating himself for leaving. He had nothing to feel guilty for as I looked at him asleep and moved a strain of hair out of his face.