Five

We continued going to work after that and, thankfully, no such incident occurred again. With each passing day, as I fell into routine and got used to living with Terasaki-san and Chiyo, the fear slowly receded. I had settled for the little joys of cooking for the two of them and of serving people the best that I could at the café. If I wasn't working or cooking, I'd be sleeping. I had moved to the couch after a long discussion with Terasaki-san because he was too big for it and adamant about not letting me sleep anywhere else but on the bed. Chiyo wouldn't sleep anywhere other than with Terasaki-san either. Eventually, I won.

If I found myself awake and with nothing in particular to occupy myself, I inevitably ended up thinking about my life and this current situation. I missed home. I missed my parents and my friends. I missed Shibata-kun. There were moments when I couldn't fight the loneliness and helplessness and sorrow that washed over me but Terasaki-san was always patient in handling me and Chiyo somehow managed to cheer me up in the end. Sure, days went by just like that, but I had probably not really moved on and faced everything like I had wanted to.

I felt like I was playing house to run away from reality.

"Kirishima-chan, are you free?" Matsumoto-san came over to me just as I returned from serving a couple their parfait.

"Currently, yes. What is it? Help?" I asked.

"You like to bake, don't you?"

"Um, yes." I nodded, confused.

"Takashi-san could use an extra pair of experienced hands with the cake." He said. "Come on."

"Don't leave the floor unattended." The manager said from behind me.

"It's just for a couple of minutes." Matsumoto-san said, caught my wrist and pulled me towards the kitchen. "Takashi-san!"

Takashi-san, the patisserie, seemed relieved to see me. Apparently, a last-minute party-order had come in and he was running a little short on hands. I helped him and Matsumoto-san in whichever ways I could before returning to the shop front. My eyes immediately met Terasaki-san's who was clearly looking around for me. I apologised when he came over. "Takashi-san needed a little help."

"It's fine. Just don't disappear without a word like that again. I can sense you but still."

"Okay." I agreed. I wanted to learn to sense people too. "I'll be more careful here on out."

He nodded, then turned to survey the café. It was a good day with regard to sales. "We'll bring Chiyo next time."

I muffled a laugh at that and earned a look of suspicion from him. "What's so funny about that?"

"It's just that... you always think about Chiyo. No matter what you're doing, Chiyo's on your mind. Now that I know that you raised her, it's really... heart-warming." I said. "That's all."

He gave me a weird look but before he could say anything to that, that café's door opened and a new customer stepped in. The other part-timer who was closest to the door greeted the person and let them in. When I saw who it was though, I froze.

"Shibata-kun..."

Terasaki-san watched on in silence, a slight frown on his face.

"I... I didn't think that he'd come here." I moved to get out of his view. I already knew that he wouldn't recognise me but it felt like I had to move- for my own sake. I had not wanted to run into him if it meant that he wouldn't know me. "The people he hangs out with now aren't the kind who go to cafés. Also, I was the one who had brought us here the first time so he shouldn't have come here if I wasn't there, right?" For some reason, I felt the need to justify myself- more to myself than to Terasaki-san. I had, in all honesty, not chosen this café hoping to see Shibata-kun.

"Hm." Terasaki-san looked away and folded his arms across his chest.

"Huh?" I looked at him quizzically.

He briefly glanced at me before going off to a customer who was beckoning to him. "Nothing."

It didn't quite seem like nothing though.

I looked back towards Shibata-kun. He was sitting right there and I couldn't even approach him normally. Our 'normally' never even existed for him. What was I supposed to do?

"Kirishima-chan." The part-timer who was attending to him came over. "One blueberry cheesecake."

"He... ordered a blueberry cheesecake?" I asked in surprise.

"Uh... yes?" She asked more than replied. My reaction was obviously surprising. Still unsure of what to do, I immediately went about preparing the order to cover up.

"Here. One blueberry cheesecake!" I smiled and held out the plated treat to her.

Maybe that came across as being a little over-enthusiastic?

"Okay..." She nodded, accepted it and took it over to him. I stood there and watched them in silence. I could clearly remember the day we had first ordered the blueberry cheesecake. He had wanted a chocolate truffle and I had wanted a cheesecake but it was the end of the month and we had had only enough money combined to buy one dish. So, we had compromised and decided to buy a chocolate cheesecake. When we had gone up to the counter, however, the way the blueberry cheesecake was presented and the way it just sat there in the display had won me over completely. He had still wanted chocolate but I had insisted, and I never usually insisted. He couldn't say no. That was how we had ended up tasting the blueberry cheesecake. To think that, even without me, he had come to have it made me feel all the more lonely.

It was just him and the blueberry cheesecake.

It was unfair.

"Are you going to go talk to him?" A voice said in my ear, making me jump. I turned in haste.

"Matsumoto-san!"

"You've been staring at him ever since he came in." He grinned at me teasingly. "Someone you know?"

"Uh... no." I shrank away. I knew Shibata-kun but he did not know me anymore. That question sent a spear through my heart.

"Really? So, this is love at first sight?" He elbowed me in the side.

"L-Love?! No way!" I moved away in a fluster. It definitely wasn't at first sight anyway.

Wait. Why was I denying THAT part?

He grinned mischievously, then called out to the other part-timer. "Shiori-chan, let Kirishima-chan handle the new customer."

"Wha- No!" I said softly, as pleadingly as I could.

"What? So, you actually know him? You seemed surprised that he ordered the blueberry cheesecake."

No...

"Blueberry cheesecake? What's there to be surprised about?"

"N-No. He just... looked more like the chocoholic kind." I chuckled to cover up, then looked around for Terasaki-san for help. He had probably left for the kitchen though because he was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, look. He's done already." Matsumoto-kun placed both hands on my shoulders and pushed me out from behind the counter. "Go attend to him, Kirishima-chan."

"Matsu- No!" But it was too late to protest. All the commotion had probably caught his attention and Shibata-kun was looking our way when I was pushed towards him. He smiled sheepishly when our eyes met, probably realising that he was the centre of attention.

My heart stopped.

I was fine with just watching and being this close to him. I had no idea about what Terasaki-san thought about Shibata-kun's re-entry into my life either. Was it really okay for me to interact with him like this?

Despite being caught up in between all the issues and my own emotions, being a customer-service-oriented part-timer, I had no choice but to approach him.

I did not want to talk to a Shibata-kun who did not know me. It was too painful.

"They're quite the noisy bunch, huh?" Shibata-kun shook his head when I neared him.

"Uh, no. It's mostly one person." I replied nervously. "May I clear your table?"

"Sure." He nodded and sat back.

"Would you like something else?" I asked.

"No. Thank you." He said.

Curiosity got the better of me. "How did you come to know of this place?"

"Hm? I guess a year and a half ago..." He said thoughtfully. "I tried it."

It was around the same time as I had come here with him.

"W-With someone?" I forced a smile.

"No. I don't think I've ever come here with someone."

"Oh." He... really had no memory of me, huh?

He smiled at me. "You're new here, right?"

"Yes." It was very much like Shibata-kun to talk to people who were nervous and awkward. He was naturally a friendly guy. "I started five days ago." I looked around for Terasaki-san again and, this time, found him standing behind the counter and watching me but I couldn't quite read his expression at all. I was panicking a little, to be honest. I had no idea what to do!

"Uh, your name?" Shibata-kun asked, leaning forward to get my attention again. That act of his was something I had once taken for granted. He used to do that when we were hanging out and if I had happened to get distracted by someone or something else.

I suddenly felt like crying.

"Um..." Terasaki-san, please help! "Kirishima."

"Kirishima-chan." He nodded. "I'm Miyazono Shibata. You can call me Shibata."

"M-Miyazono-san... is fine." He had always readily offering up his given name to people he'd taken a liking to.

"Hm. That's fine if you're comfortable with that." His eyes stayed on my face as if studying me. "Now, this may sound like a very cheesy pickup line but... Have I met you before?"

"What?" When the question sank in, the rest of the world suddenly went so silent that I could hear my own heartbeat.

"I'm asking if... we've met before."

He wasn't supposed to remember me at all, right? Terasaki-san had re-written time, hadn't he? I had died at the age of five and never gone to college and... just the other day, Shibata-kun had walked past me. Could he possibly remember me from that time? But that was such a short and vague passing. There was no way that he could recognise me from just that. And then again... maybe he walked past me because it was a vague passing. Maybe he did somehow remember me and-

I stopped myself. I was getting ahead of myself. Nothing made sense and trying to make sense of it was not helping either.

"N-No. I... don't think so."

"Oh?" He frowned. "Then, it's nice to meet you."

"Y-Yes." I bowed. I needed to leave. "Then, I'll clear your table and... um. Is there really nothing else that I could get you?"

"No. I'm good." He said.

"Okay. Thank you." I bowed again awkwardly, cleared the table and retreated behind the counter. Matsumoto-san was the first person to jump on my case.

"So? How was he?"

"Eh. I, uh- T-Terasaki-san!" I stepped past Matsumoto-san and went right up to Terasaki-san who looked down at me without a word. I was actually so worked up that I felt my whole body tingling.

"Come to think of it," Matsumoto-san watched us. "You both come in together and leave together every day. Hah? Live-in?!"

"Matsumoto-san." I gave him a look that conveyed that that was the point where he backed away.

"Okay." He raised his arms in surrender and left us. I turned back to Terasaki-san.

"Why does he feel like he's met me before?"

"He said so?" He frowned.

"That... wasn't supposed to happen, was it?" I asked.

"He could just be mistaking you for someone else." He said. "Don't dwell on it."

What? "But-"

"Do you want to talk to him?" He asked.

"Huh?"

"Miyazono-kun. Do you want to befriend him again?"

"Wha... Tha-That's okay?" I asked. It was a mix of emotions. I was borderline happy that I might be able to talk to him again but somehow, within, I was feeling uneasy. Shibata-kun and I had known each other best. I didn't want to... befriend him again. I was no more a part of his life in this reality.

Terasaki-san watched me silently before speaking again. "You both were really close. I don't want you to regret anything."

That meant that I could speak to Shibata-kun. I could let him get close to me again. I could... rebuild what we had.

"However," Terasaki-san continued. "You might want to consider that you're a target."

That... I'm a target. "That would put Shibata-kun in danger, wouldn't it?"

"It is possible considering that I was probably not the only one watching you as you grew. Others are bound to know how close you both were. Getting close again might put him in danger."

That had pretty much sealed our fate and made my decision for me. There was no way I would put Shibata-kun in danger. If it meant keeping Shibata-kun safe, I could deprive myself of the comfort of his affections. I knew, however, that even if I did decide so, I could not possibly just stand and watch Shibata-kun from afar and console myself by saying that it was for his best.

Why was I put in such a position?

"I'm sorry, Akane." Terasaki-san said and placed a hand atop my head. He was... trying to console me, wasn't he?

I smiled wryly. The sense of defeat that washed over me just then manifested itself into a sigh. "Terasaki-san, why was it me?"

I clearly saw the sadness in the way he looked at me. He withdrew his hand and said nothing more.

I looked over at Shibata-kun who had just finished paying his bill. Apologising to him and to myself mentally, I turned away from him and followed Terasaki-san into the kitchen.