Week 4 - pt 2

27th September

Autumn sat outside Mr. Grayson’s office. Daniel sat next to her. ‘So what brings you

here red?’

She just looked at him. ‘Stuff.’

‘Me to. To many skellies to lay to rest. You?’

‘Could say that.’

‘So what do you think of Mr. Grayson? Cool yeah.’

‘I’m not talking to Mr. Grayson.’

‘I don’t know any other shrink.’

‘Mathew Harding.’

His eye balls gouged. ‘You serious?’

‘Yeah Mr. Grayson thought it would give him a good opportunity to show off his skills and do his degree. I like him. He understands.’

‘Did you ever take the time to think why.’

‘No and I’d rather not.’

‘He’s got all the girls you know. I’ve spoke to him a few times he’s okay, but Grayson’s top dog.’

‘Well we connect, he understands me better than my mom.’

‘That’s not hard to do red, especially when we spend most of our time pushing away the people who care about us the most.’

Mathew opened the door. ‘I’m sorry Autumn I’m running a little late this morning. Come through.’

She pulled herself up.

‘Later red.’

‘Yeah later.’

Mathew looked at Daniel. ‘You’ll be having me this morning Mr. Grayson was called out.’

‘Sure.’

He closed the door. ‘Please take a seat.’

Autumn dropped to the sofa and he walked over sitting opposite her. ‘So what did Mr. Harrison have to say for himself?’

‘Not much.’

He looked at her. ‘Come on Autumn you can tell me.’

‘Is it true?’

‘Is what true?’

‘That your shrinking all of the girls?’

‘Yes I do. I also shrink some of the boys too. You’re all different Autumn.’ He looked at her and coughed. ‘Anyway we’re here to talk about you… So are we okay to continue?’

‘I guess.’

‘So your previous school I guess your friends died.’

She looked a little shocked at him what sort of question was that, where the hell had it come from? It was straight to the point, so abrupt. It was unlike his usual openings they were usually a lot softer to break the ice. ‘I-I.’ She Stuttered.

‘Sorry I’ll rephrase that.’ He looked at her would he be able to get anything out of her today? Especially after she’d spoke to Daniel Harrison. What were they speaking about before?

‘So tell me a little about your last school Autumn. Your friends, boy friend then we’ll gradually build a picture of to why you had to come to me.’

‘If you like.’

‘You have to like to.’

‘Sure.’ She swallowed she wasn’t sure if she was ready for this. There were too many bad memories though there were some good ones too.

‘Firstly have you got any photos of your friends? Or anything you can remember them by.’

‘I have some photos. I was happy a lot happier than I am here.’

‘You have Connor.’

‘I know he’s cool, but I miss my friends.’

‘You’ve made new ones.’

‘I have but it’s still not the same.’

‘Every time you feel down refer to your photos and the good times that you all had.’

‘I will.’

He coughed. ‘So, Tell me a little about your friends.’

‘Me and my friends hit it off the day I began high school. We didn’t meet Taylor and his friends till I was in year nine. They collared us for being somewhere we weren’t suppose to be. He had so many friends.’

‘Just stick to the ones he chose to hang with.’

‘That would be Steven Downey they called him Downey, Dylan Rudge, or Rudgey and Jamie Stevens or Stevo.’

‘So was Taylor his last name too?’

‘No it was Mackenzie. His friends called him Macka. He preferred me to call him Taylor he said it sounded sexy when I said it. So I did.’

‘So you moved over here when you were what eleven ?’

‘Almost twelve. I was one of the oldest in my year, we moved over here in July I began high school in the September.’

‘It must’ve been a big step.’

‘It was.’

‘Anyway.’ He coughed again. ‘I’d like us to stay on track.’

‘Sure.’

‘We’re you and his friends close?’

‘I guess. We all hung together the guys dug on my friends and they all got it together.’

‘So.’ He paused. ‘Tell me a little more about the events leading up to why you came here.’

She looked at him unsure where to begin. ‘Before it happened we were all close we all stayed over Downey’s he and Joanne were inseparable. He was the eldest of the friends it was just before Taylor..’ she stopped tearful.

‘Take your time Autumn. We have an hour. And what we don’t finish today we’ll continue with it next week.

He gave her a few minutes. ‘So are we okay to continue?’

‘Yeah.’

‘So you said everything was cool until the tragedy.’

‘Yeah.’

‘So what happened?’

‘I’m not sure. None of us were. Rudgey went on a downer he shut himself away from everyone Caz couldn’t even get through to him. She tried so hard, but whatever she said made no difference he’d lost his friend who he’d known since primary. They’d become friends with Downey and Stevo in year seven. They done everything together he said it was like loosing a brother they were so close.’

‘So what happened to this Rudgey guy?’

Tears fell off her face.

‘Take your time Autumn.’ He said passing her a tissue.

‘Thanks.’ She replied taking it off him wiping her tears away.

‘That better?’

‘Yeah.’

‘We don’t have to finish this today. If you prefer we can do it another time.’

I’d rather finish if I don’t I never will.’

‘Sure when ever you’re ready.’

She breathed in and out. ‘They found him hanging from his bedroom light, the cops reckoned he’d taken something to ease the pain before he hung himself. Even though they couldn’t find any traces of drugs on him. They classed it as suicide another person to forget.’

‘You don’t seem to convinced Autumn.’

‘He may have been down, but to hang himself Nagh, he may have popped a few pills but hanging himself.’

‘Maybe he thought it was the easiest way out.’

‘So why did they all die?’ she asked angrily.

‘I can’t answer that Autumn.’

The bell rang.

‘You best be getting to your next lesson.’

‘Sure.’ She said pulling herself up.

‘Keep your head held high Autumn.’

She walked out of the room. Mathew Harding looked at Daniel. ‘Mr. Harrison come through.’

He pulled himself up he and Autumn made eye contact yet said nothing before he went into the room. Mathew closed the door behind them.

Daniel sat opposite Mathew. He looked angrily at him. ‘How dare you talk about me to Autumn.’

‘I daint what she say?’

‘Enough. She’s unstable she needs my help.’

‘So you can bone her.

‘No I genuinely want to help.’

‘Don’t screw this up for a girl Matt.’

‘I’m not.’

Autumn sat down by the river she’d said goodbye to Connor an hour ago and was smoking a cigarette, maybe she was giving this guy too much info.

‘Your mom said you’d be out here.’

She looked up wondering who had disturbed her thoughts. His eyes glistened in hers. ‘Dan.’

‘May I?’

‘It’s a free country.’

He sat next to her.

‘So what brings you here Dan?’

‘I missed you at school today. Bitch gave me detention for being late and disturbing her class. Goddam whore thinks she’s pretty and she’s not.’

She looked at him questionably. What was so important that it couldn’t wait till tomorrow. He looked at her his eyes glazed. ‘Why did you tell Harding what I said?’

‘He asked.’

‘I don’t need to be badgered by a shrink.’

‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean nought by it. I never meant to get you in shit.’

‘He’s a prick red. He’ll keep pushing and pushing till there’s nothing left, till he gets what he wants.’

‘And you and Con don’t?’

‘No we don’t. We’re your friends you’re safer talking to us than him.’

‘I can’t right now.’

‘What’s so bad red? We all have a past.’

‘It’s too hard it’s too much pain.’

‘Have your whole family gunned down for serving your god damn fucking country, then tell me how it fucks with your head!’ He said angrily.

‘I’m sorry I…’

‘I’m sixteen red I fell back a year. My head was so screwed up. It’s just me and mom now my dad and brothers got gunned down with many others. They sprung attack on them. Why the fuck should you help the starving, the dying if they have no respect for you to hold a gun to your head and fucking shoot?’ He said angrily.

Tears slipped off her face. ‘I’m sorry. I’m just trying to come to terms with what happened. Me and Matthew connected he’s in my league. I will tell you I promise. But not just yet.’

‘When red? When it’s too late. If it weren’t for Grayson I’d just be another headstone.’

She cried. She knew just how that felt she wished she wasn’t alive most days her friends were her world and they’d been taken away from her and she had to watch them disappear one by one.

‘What are you so scared of red, opening up?’

‘I can’t loose anyone else.’

‘You won’t.’

‘I don’t want you to die.’

‘I won’t.’

‘You will every friend I’ve ever had is dead. I never wanted to come here, but mom thought it was for the best to start again.’

‘Maybe it is.’

‘How? I don’t belong here. I preferred to do it alone and not to have any friends.’

‘Well you have and we ain’t going anywhere.’

‘I don’t want you to die.’

‘I won’t.’

He placed his arms round her. ‘We’ll take care of you red. We’ll get you through this.’

They sat for a while as she she’d her last tear. ‘I’m sorry Dan.’

‘It’s okay babe.’

He took his arms from around her wiping her tears away. ‘Guess we’ll never know why you came here, but we’re your friends red and when your ready to talk we’ll be here.’

‘Thanks.’ She said pecking him in the cheek.

‘Don’t babe you’ll make me blush.’ He cracked.

She cut a short smile.

‘Come on I’ll walk you home.’

He took her hand pulling them both up. He dropped his hand off hers walking away from the lake.

‘Well this is me thanks Dan.’

‘My pleasure, and I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine I am too.’

They hugged. ‘Night red.’

‘Night Dan.’