Chapter 35

I feel his blunt tip at my entrance and I shut my eyes. A second later I don't feel him at all.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" I ask when I see him looking down at me skeptically.

"Sunny you're shaking." He says and I don't believe him until I lift up my hand and see it shivering.

"Oh sorry... I guess I'm just a little nervous." I explain, feeling a lump in my throat.

Great job Miss Wallace you can't even manage laying on your back successfully.

"Maybe we shouldn't-"

"What?" I sound as pathetic as I feel, "Why not? Do you not want to-"

"Sunny calm down." He says, rubbing my shoulders as I sit up, "I want to, I swear I do but-"

"I'm just a little nervous is all. We can-" I stop when his hand captures mine when I reach for his hips.

"Sunny you're terrified." He says, shaking his head at me.

I look at my hand shaking uncontrollably between his and I pull my wrist back and swiftly remove myself from under him.

"Sunny, what's going on?" He asks and I hear the zip of his jeans.

I can't speak with this lump in my throat and I suddenly feel a lot more naked than I did moments ago.

"Here." He turns me around and places his sweater over my head.

I can't bring myself to remove my arms from covering my chest even underneath the sweater so the loops hang down my side.

"Sunny, what the fuck is going on?" His voice is harsher this time, he's always been very impatient.

And yet here you are making him wait when he could be getting it from anyone else.

"Don't yell at me please." I say as tears begin to well in my eyes and then fall without my permission.

"Okay. Okay, I'm sorry.Do you.. do you want some tea?" He sounds panicked.

I shake my head, "I just... I want..." I pull my arms through the long loops of his sweater and use the sleeve to wipe away the stream of tears, "I just wanted to do this with you."

"We can wait Sunniva, it's alright." He insists.

"No we can't. You... I don't want you to have to be with other people because I'm... because we don't..."

"Sunniva, what are you talking about?"

"I'm still a virgin." I finally confess and he steps back pulling my heart with him.

I begin to move away too, unable to handle this conversation. It's unbearably embarrassing.

"Sunny." He pulls at my shoulder, "It's okay, okay?" He says and I push his hand away.

"No, it's not, I... I want to be with you Leo, only you and I want you to be with only me too and you being with other people makes me really sad.. and I was hoping that if we..." I wipe away another tear and stop this increasingly embarrassing monologue.

"Sunny, I haven't fucked anyone since your birthday."

"You haven't?" Is all I can muster.

"No, I haven't." He says, reaching for me again.

"Well why not?"

"I...I just haven't I guess." He looks puzzled by his own words.

"Do you want to?" I ask, sniffling.

"No." He looks in thought as he answers this, "I don't."

I don't say anything and neither does he. We're surrounded is silence but not the silence we're used to, there's a feeling infused with in this one. Submission.

"Sunny I've just been trying to keep you safe. I just want you to be okay." He speaks to me but it's almost like he's reminding himself.

"But you don't want me?"

"Of course I fuck-" He takes a breath, "I want you so much."

"So then everything else doesn't matter. Leo, I'm a big girl I can take care of myself. I've been going to self defense since I was 8 years old." I state and he finally smiles his beautiful smile.

"You think you could beat my ass?" He teases.

"Maybe with a few more lessons, I missed a couple recent ones."

He lifts me into his arms and I instinctually wrap my legs around his waist.

"I wanna see what they've taught you and if I'm not impressed I'm taking over." He sighs and kisses me softly, "I've only seen you cry twice now and I hate it more than anything."

Shyness takes over me and I bury my face into his neck.

"That terrible movie you like has a sequel and it's playing at the theater tonight." He says and I try to contain my smile snuggling further into his neck. He smells so great.

"You wanna go?" His voice sounds hoarse.

"You asking me on a date?"

"Well since we've settled that I'm not going anywhere we might as well start this shit with a crappy date." He chuckles.

"This shit?" I giggle.

"You and me..."

"What about it?" I feign confusion.

"Sunniva." He warns, obviously not enjoying being teased.

"You have to ask me."

He sighs, rolling his eyes at me and I shriek when he nips at my neck.

"Sunniva, do you wanna go on this shitty date with me?" He smirks.

"Well... I'll have to check-" I shriek when he dips me backwards, "Okay. Okay yes, I will!"

Leo

She makes me wait outside again even after I reminded her that I've seen her naked. 'It's a date' so we apparently have to pretend that I don't know what she looks like on her knees in front of me.

Her door finally opens and I have to adjust myself in my jeans. She's wearing those tight, dark blue jeans again and a dark blue buttoned up jersey that she forgot to button up all the way. I'm trying my best not to think about the fact that the color of her jersey matches the lingerie she wore early.

Fuck, what a sight that was. Like a fucking wet dream she looked like begging me to fuck her. I wonder if she would've gone through with it if I hadn't noticed how obviously unprepared she was. She gives too much of herself to so many people I never wanna take more than she's willing to give.

"You ready?" She says, skipping past me.

"Y-yeah." I stutter, looking down at how gorgeously framed her ass looks in these jeans.

"Great, just gimme a sec." She says and I follow her into the kitchen.

She bends over the counter to dig inside their messy bowl of unrelating items. I can see her bra peaking through her jersey.

"Sunny." She looks up at me with her large eyes and somehow it makes me harder, "You forgot a few buttons." I point at my chest, making her look down at hers.

She giggles as she buttons up the rest, "Thanks." She says, digging her other hand out of the bowl and I see she retrieved a tube of clear liquid.

"Can't go anywhere without lipgloss, Lucy borrowed it last night." She explains shoving it into her tiny purse which is also dark blue.

"Are you ready?" I ask and she laughs.

I remind her to lock the door when we leave and we have to take the stairs instead of the elevator because her crappy apartment building have decided to do nighttime construction.

"I hope they work fast because Lucy's a light sleeper." She comments.

There's a few guys with hard hats on as we enter the lobby and to my delight they all zero in on Sunniva.

I pull her under my arm and hope they catch the threat in my glare and don't get themselves in trouble by opening they're mouths.

"It's a great night." She states, looking up at the sky.

Her skin is lit by the bright moon and when she looks up at me it feels like a dream. She's like those ethereal creatures you'd read about in children's books.

"What?" She asks.

I place a soft kiss on her lips and I feel her smile as I do. I glad that's something I have the privilege of doing.

"How do you feel about candy in your popcorn?"

I look at her quizzically, "I feel... like I'm getting my own popcorn." I say and she tips her head back her laughter filling my car.

"Please do not tell me you're one of those people who hate candy."

"In my popcorn? Yes."

"What's your favorite candy then?" She asks, lifting her sandals onto the seat.

"I don't have one. I'm a grown man."

"Oh come on, Leo." She giggles, reaching for my hand on the center console, "You're a grown man not an old one. Everyone loves candy even my grandpa and he's diabetic."

I shrug just enjoying her laughter.

"Well just a heads up I'm buying out all the cherry Twizzlers if they're stocked up." She says.

Her laughter abruptly ceases when we enter the parking lot.

"What is it?" I ask, panic trickling up my spine when I see the look on her face. Her hands are shaking.

"This is... this..." She stutters, eyeing the building and when I turn off the engine I do the same.

It's the oldest movie theater in town, Luther said he took Linda here on their first date.

"What's wrong Sunny?" I try to dim the agitation in my voice but she shivers slightly so I guess I didn't do a good enough job.

"Th-this is the p-place." Her words are barely whispers.

I take a second look to catch something I might've missed earlier but then it hits me. This was the place she almost got kidnapped, the reason her sister got sent away. Knives shot the guy with his own gun is what I remember hearing through the Rumor Mill at school once.

"Fuck." I facepalm.

Could I be anymore fucking dense?

"Sunniva I didn't.. I didn't know. Let's just-"

She holds my hand still when I try to turn the key, "No." She whispers again, "Just wait."

"Sunniva?" I watch her slump back into her seat and take in the building with a dazed look on her face.

"I want to go inside." She says after sitting in silence for a few moments.

"Are you sure?"

"It's only brick and glass windows," She releases a long sigh looking up at me with her big brown eyes, "Tt's just a building."

"We have to take a picture before we go in. I have to send it to Pamela." She says, opening her door.

I do the same and follow behind her as she gets closer to the movie theatre.

"Who's Pamela?" I ask when she hands me her cellphone.

"My therapist, well ex therapist. This was the last piece of homework she gave me." She smiles dusting off her jersey, "Get the sign in will ya?"

I look up at her and then down to her phone, "Okay." I say, angling her into the frame.

She smiles showing off her pearly whites and lifts her purse between her hands. I almost forget to take the picture just staring at her.

The flash goes off and the picture appears on the phone.

"I wasn't ready take another one." She moans.

I shake my head not being able to avert my eyes from the image, "I think this ones okay." I say, handing it back to her.

Her brows furrow as she exams the picture. I'm the last person she should've asked to do this.

"You sure?"

"I am." I shrug, "Its beautiful." Her eyes dart to mine and she bites her lip.

I run my hands through my hair a little embarrassed by her reaction. I wasn't expecting that to come out of my mouth.

"We should get inside."

Sunniva

"Busy night." I gesture to the long line at the concession stand.

Leo nods eyeing all the people that pass us.

He's uncomfortable and I want to reach for his hand to put him at ease but it's balled up and I couldn't help but notice he hasn't reached for mine this whole time.

My eyes catch Edwardo at the bathroom as he rushes someone inside. The boy looks familiar but I can't place it. Edwardo looks directly at me and his usual mischievous smirk forms on his face.

"Edwardo's here." I announce and Leo follows my finger.

He huffs in response and glowers as Edwardo makes his way towards us.

"You should probably get in line before it fills up again." He nods towards the concession stand.

"You're right." I agree and wave at Edwardo as I pass by him. He makes a tipping hat gesture and I giggle in response.

I try not to focus on the gnawing feeling that he's avoiding being seen with me.

Wouldn't be the first time.