Dear Mr. Mister (A Letter to The Lord)

Dear God,

It's not easy to talk about the things we never want to talk about. Pain, discomfort, fear, or guilt. I always look back to analyze which one it is. To You, it's nothing new. You always know what's going to happen before it can even come to fruition. I feel relieved to know that You understand the things I do, the thoughts that I have. How the next day will play out. It's more refreshing than scary, but not very comforting when pertaining to certain matters.

I don't know how You've allowed me to last this long. I barely know if I'm doing anything right. I read, I believe, I apply, I have faith, I practice, and I've been more aware of my actions than in years passed. Not much else I know how to do. So now? 2020-2021 is a blessing in disguise. Unfortunate in the pandemic, although fortunate in the quarantine department. Less distractions to be introduced to. I could focus on You more properly compared to the prior. Spending time with You and being the extreme introvert that I am, aloneness is sorely needed. School is the ugly rat no one wants to be near. That block has been mostly cleared thus far. But still, is it good? Am I doing good?

You have a way of shaking things up. By way of permission, actually doing, planning, etc, etc. Not everything wil be the same in the next five or ten plus years. Preparation now is key. Yahweh, I trust in Your plan. I trust Your judgements. And yet...*insert sigh here*....I don't actually know. What do You say to the human beings who look back and then now and wonder if anything has truly changed? All of the crying in sorrow and pain, the lessons of the Bible introduced, and the sacrificing of old ways. The fight to push away sin and combat Satan with his nasty works. The exhaustion of dealing with inward struggles that can never seem to be understood! ...Riddle me this Mr. Man. Heavenly Father. Our Creator and Almighty Savior. What has truly been done?

Sincerely,

A Follower