Day 14: Holodating (Matsuri have Mercy)

"KIKKERIKIII~!!!" Kiara called through the phone.

"I thought you weren't going to call me anymore," Ryan said. Not that he was annoyed or anything, but it was a surprise.

"Ah, I've prepared something special for you today!" Kiara chirped. Ryan could hear the excitement pouring from her voice. Usually when Kiara was excited, that meant Ryan was in danger, considering the last time that happened, Ryan got shot in the head.

"Should I be excited or nervous?" Ryan asked.

"C'mon, what's the worst that can happen?"

"You'd be surprised," Ryan grumbled. "I'll see you in five."

-

Fortunately, the windows weren't covered this time, but Ryan noticed that Marine was sitting and chatting with Kiara. "Morning Tenchou, Houshou-san," Ryan said as he opened the doors.

"Why do you call Kiara-chan Tenchou but you call me Houshou-san?!" Marine exclaimed. "Call me Senchou!"

"If that's what you want, Senchou," Ryan said. As he understood it, Marine letting him call her "Senchou" was a sign of friendship and respect. "So, what am I doing here?"

"Kiara-chan asked me to do a huge favor," Marine exclaimed. "Today, we're going to get you a date."

"Tenchou," Ryan glared at his manager. "We talked about this."

"What?" Kiara flinched, letting her index fingers touch while giving Ryan an innocent look. "You looked lonely."

"To be fair, you are lonely," Edhas said.

'You don't get a say in this,' Ryan grumbled.

"Fine, I'll humor you," Ryan sighed. "I guess your intentions are good enough, and if you set everything up already, I would feel bad if I rejected your offer."

"Really?!" Kiara squealed. "Thank you, Ryan!"

-

The first person to enter was Fubuki. "Fubuki-senpai!" Marine ran up to the cat fox girl. "We need your help!"

"Ah, you asked me to be here?" Fubuki tilted her head and put a finger to her chin, her tail swishing back and forth.

"We're looking to get Ryan a girlfriend!" Kiara chirped.

"Wait, so you didn't tell everyone before inviting them?" Ryan asked, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Ah, this one is quite strong," Edhas said. "I approve."

'You don't get to approve, you jackass pervert,' Ryan grumbled.

"We are friends!" Fubuki exclaimed. "No waifu! We are friends!"

-999 Super Effective! Though Ryan wasn't affected, he could hear Edhas's cries of pain of being rejected. Normally, Ryan would be annoyed at this, but right now, it was music to his ears.

"Serves you right," Ryan said, resisting the urge to smirk.

"But I have a friend!" Fubuki chirped. "I can bring her soon!"

"Really?!" Marine exclaimed. "Thank you, Fubuki-senpai!"

"But-," Ryan started, but Kiara shot him a glare. "Thank you, Shirakami-san."

"Anything for my friend!" Fubuki exclaimed before running off.

"I expected worse," Kiara rubbed her chin, crossing off something on a notebook.

"Are you seriously charting this?" Ryan asked, sighing.

"You know, if this doesn't work, we could always have dinner and a little bit more~," Marine offered Ryan a suggestive wink.

"I'll pass," Ryan said. "I fear for my chastity."

"That's the point of dating, Ryan," Kiara pointed out.

"Not on the first date," Ryan shot back.

"Suit yourself," Marine pouted.

-

"I heard Fubuki would be here?!" Matusri burst through the doors.

"You just missed her," Ryan said.

"We're looking to get Ryan a girlfriend!" Kiara exclaimed. "Would you mayhaps be a little interested~?"

"Is he a loli?" Matsuri asked, her eyes boring into Ryan.

"No…?" Ryan said, more confused and intimidated than anything.

"Then I'm not interested," Matsuri declared.

"Should have seen this coming," Kiara said, crossing off Matsuri's name on her notebook.

"Don't worry about it," Edhas said. "Dating a goddess never ends well."

'And your sources are?' Ryan asked.

"Experience."

'Yeah, like I'm ever going to believe that.'

-

"Hellobo~," Roboco cheered as she entered the restaurant, a cheery smile on her face.

-100 hp! Critical Hit! Edhas was still not as resistant to cuteness overloads as Ryan was, but Ryan still felt the attack.

"I must admit, she's cute," Edhas said. "Even if she is a robot. You should totally date her."

"Roboco-senpai!" Kiara cheered. "What do you think of Ryan?"

"What do I think?" Roboco tilted her head with confusion.

-100 hp! Critical Hit! Edhas groaned in pain as the cuteness meter rose.

"It really isn't healthy for my heart to be around all these cute girls," Edhas said.

'You don't have a heart,' Ryan pointed out.

"You don't know that."

'Whatever.'

"Ryan is a very kind person," Roboco started. "Even when he barely knew us, he still put his life on the line more than once for Kiara-chan and all of us. You treated all of us with respect, even when you were still a human in a time of distress. You're a very strong and reliable person, keeping your word almost, if not all the time. You've grown so much from the person that Watson-san called in to have a therapy session with me. I'm so proud of what you've become, Ryan."

"I'm…" Ryan stumbled over his words, searching for the right phrase. "I'm flattered. Thank you, Roboco-san."

"It's only the truth," Roboco's smile grew.

-100 Hp! Critical Hit!

'Edhas, the joke is getting stale,' Ryan grumbled in his head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help it that Roboco-san is so damn cute," Edhas said, and to be fair, he had a point.

"So, what would you think about being his girlfriend?" Kiara asked, a bit too bluntly to be honest.

"B-boyfriend…? Girlfriend...?" Roboco's face flushed for a moment before fading, her eyes going blank. "Processing… processing…"

"I think you broke her," Ryan said.

"Unable to compute, engaging tactical retreat," Roboco said in a monotone voice before turning around and walking away, as if on autopilot.

"I'm relieved, but I don't know whether or not to be offended or not," Ryan said.

"Don't worry about it!" Kiara crossed off Roboco's name. "There are plenty more."

"Alright, let me see the list," Ryan said. "If you're going to drag them into this, I might as well prepare them something."

-

"Yo dayo!" Ayame burst through the doors excitedly.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Edhas said. "She's just… too cute."

'That's your problem,' Ryan said. Despite his crass words, he was preparing his heart for a cuteness overload.

"Ojou!" Kiara squealed. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Kiara-chan!" Ayame dived over the counter, tackling Kiara in a hug. Kiara laughed as she wrapped her arms around Ayame, not caring that she just jumped the counter. "What did you need from me?"

"Ah, we're looking to get Ryan a girlfriend!" Kiara answered excitedly.

"Ah, what does that have to do with me?" Ayame asked, tilting her head.

-9999 Hp! ULTRA COMBOOOOOO!

"It's a wonder I'm still alive…" Edhas managed. "She's too pure. I can't let you date her."

"I refuse to drag Nakiri-san into this any longer," Ryan said, putting his foot down. He placed a place of sweets on the counter. "Here's some dango for you, Nakiri-san."

"Dango!" Ayame vaulted over the counter and stuck a stick of dango in her mouth, smiling brightly.

-99999 Hp! Game Over!

"I should have expected this," Kiara sighed, shaking her head while crossing out Ayame's name. "We have quite a few left, so don't worry!"

"Perfect," Ryan grumbled.

-

Suisei walked into the restaurant, holding her camera. "So, am I going to take more pictures of Ryan?"

"God, I hope not," Ryan grumbled under his breath.

"Maybe!" Kiara cheered. "We're looking to get a girlfriend for Ryan. Are you interested?"

"Sorry, I'm only into younger boys," Suisei said, frowning.

"Any younger and they'll be considered a Shota," Ryan said, considering he was barely over the legal limit.

"It's Shonen, not Shota," Suisei's expression darkened as she summoned her golden axe. "Say that one more time and I'll make sure you're short enough to be called a Shota."

"On second thought, I don't think this is the best idea," Marine chuckled nervously.

-

Ryan was surprised to see Choco's name on the list next. "Why is Choco-sensei on this list?"

"Er…" Kiara shuffled nervously.

"Choco-sensei is such a catch," Marine swooned. "You'd be lucky to have her."

"Isn't she a bit… old…?" Ryan asked.

"Don't worry about it!" Kiara slapped Ryan on the back. "Gura's 9000 years older than Ame! Age is just a number!" (AN: Age is NOT just a number. The author does NOT support pedophilia)

"But-," Ryan sighed, realizing there was nothing he could do. "Whatever."

"Ara, what's this~?" The doors opened, everybody's head swiveling towards Choco's voice.

"Ah, we're trying to get Ryan a girlfriend!" Kiara chirped.

"Oh, you want me to date my student~?" Choco smiled. "How scandalous~"

"That's the one," Edhas said. "Date that one."

'Can you think with your brain for once in your life?' Ryan growled.

"What do you think, Ryan~?" Choco winked at Ryan.

"I think…" The gear's in Ryan's brain whirled. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"The toilets are still broken," Kiara said.

"Ah, shit."

-

"I can't believe you didn't accept Choco-sensei's offer," Marine sighed. "I wish she would offer to have me for dinner."

"That's exactly why I denied the offer," Ryan said. "Again, I prefer to keep my sanity, and more importantly, my chastity."

"Killjoy," Marine booed.

"OMAEEEEEE!" Subaru barreled through the doors, pointing at Kiara. "Choco-sensei told me what you were up to!"

"What's wrong with getting Ryan a girlfriend?" Kiara asked, tilting her head in confusion.

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?!" Subaru exclaimed. "Why did you have to drag me into this?! Ui-mama is going to go ballistic!"

"Shit!" Kiara and Marine said at once. Kiara grabbed her notebook, hastily crossing off Subaru's name.

"If you don't live to the end of the week, then I apologize in advance," Kiara turned to Ryan.

"Whatever," Ryan grumbled. "It's not like I'm not used to it."

-

In an unknown location, Shigure Ui sharpened a knife, an annoyed smile on her face. "Who tried to sully the purity of my daughter…?"

-

Ryan shuddered as if an unknown force was warning him to run. "Are there any more people?" He asked, his eyes pleading for release.

Kiara's phone buzzed and she took it out, looking at it. "I guess Ina's out," she said.

"What happened?" Marine asked.

"She's going to…" Kiara sighed, using finger quotes when she continued. "Take the alien and the fox to the moon, if you catch my drift."

"Wow, I didn't think Ina-chan was capable of picking up chicks," Marine rubbed her chin. "She went from zero to two in a week. She's been busy."

"I guess that's all of them, then," Kiara sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry I couldn't get you a girlfriend, Ryan."

"Don't worry about it," Ryan put a hand on his manager's back in an attempt to comfort her. "I'm honestly content with my life. It's not like I need a girlfriend to make me happy. All I need is you, the KFP, and everyone."

"Really?!" Kiara tackled her employee in a hug. "It makes me so happy to hear that!"

"Ryan…" Ryan shuddered as he turned to see Calli, a murderous look on her face.

"I can explain…" Ryan said, sweat beading down his face.

"Oh, you're fucked," Edhas said.

'Tell me something I don't know.'

-

Miko put her phone in her pocket, ignoring Kiara and Marine's text.

"What was it?" Silvervale asked, admiring one of the many sakura blossoms that lived in Miko's shrine.

"Ah, my friends wanted me to come down and meet them at their restaurant," Miko replied.

"What did you say?" Silvervale asked, letting a pink blossom drift into her hand.

"FAQ," Miko said casually, causing the wolf girl to giggle.

"Maybe we should go tomorrow," Silvervale turned to smile at the shrine maiden. "I would love to meet some of your friends."

"Yeah," Miko said, looking at the full moon, a soft smile on her face. "That would be nice."